1 week in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Richmond
Posts: 3
1 week in
Hey everybody,
I'm new the forum and was looking for a little advice from people who've been through it.
I woke up 6 days ago and finally realized that I can't keep drinking. I just have this image that I'm slicing days off my life. So, I set myself to changing.
Tomorrow will be one week since I've stopped. I haven't gone this long without a drink for probably about 4 years and it's really getting hard right now. I'm getting these intense cravings to where I can almost taste it. I've tried keeping busy through exercise, random activities or just a drive to get my mind off of things.
My question for you all is what helped for you and does this actually get better?
Thank you everybody! I appreciate it!
I'm new the forum and was looking for a little advice from people who've been through it.
I woke up 6 days ago and finally realized that I can't keep drinking. I just have this image that I'm slicing days off my life. So, I set myself to changing.
Tomorrow will be one week since I've stopped. I haven't gone this long without a drink for probably about 4 years and it's really getting hard right now. I'm getting these intense cravings to where I can almost taste it. I've tried keeping busy through exercise, random activities or just a drive to get my mind off of things.
My question for you all is what helped for you and does this actually get better?
Thank you everybody! I appreciate it!
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome to SR! Good start with one week, too.
Different things work for different people, but in my case I needed to do something more than just not drink. That something more involved changes to my life and to my attitude and way of looking at the world. In my case, regular attendance and participation in AA helped me to achieve that.
I eventually found my life turning out way better than I had ever hoped for. So I could say that yes, it does get better. Provided one is willing to put some work into it.
Check out other people's posts, keep asking questions and stick around here. You'll find a lot of support. There's some links in the newcomer's section that might interest you, too.
Different things work for different people, but in my case I needed to do something more than just not drink. That something more involved changes to my life and to my attitude and way of looking at the world. In my case, regular attendance and participation in AA helped me to achieve that.
I eventually found my life turning out way better than I had ever hoped for. So I could say that yes, it does get better. Provided one is willing to put some work into it.
Check out other people's posts, keep asking questions and stick around here. You'll find a lot of support. There's some links in the newcomer's section that might interest you, too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi and welcome Max 
You'll find a lot of support here
For a starting point, why not check out our Class of August support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-4-a.html
D
You'll find a lot of support here
For a starting point, why not check out our Class of August support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-4-a.html
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Richmond
Posts: 3
Thank you Joanne and Dee for the response.
Joanne - Even though I'm just a week in I'm starting to realize what that actually means. I'm thinking this is going to be way harder than just not drinking. For the last several years of my life I have pretty much been defined by drinking. It feels like my entire social image revolved around drinking. I've told a couple of friends and my wife, but I can tell some of them are thinking "yeah, right...".
I'm going to have to change who I am and not just the drinking. I am thinking of going to an AA to talk to others. I've found that even reading stories online of people going through it helps. It helps to realize I'm not alone and it's not impossible.
Dee - Thank you for the link. I'll be looking through that!
Joanne - Even though I'm just a week in I'm starting to realize what that actually means. I'm thinking this is going to be way harder than just not drinking. For the last several years of my life I have pretty much been defined by drinking. It feels like my entire social image revolved around drinking. I've told a couple of friends and my wife, but I can tell some of them are thinking "yeah, right...".
I'm going to have to change who I am and not just the drinking. I am thinking of going to an AA to talk to others. I've found that even reading stories online of people going through it helps. It helps to realize I'm not alone and it's not impossible.
Dee - Thank you for the link. I'll be looking through that!
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
The first thing to do...
I'd suggest, the first thing to do, and only you will know this, is to be able to recognize and accept whether you're either,
a. addicted to alcohol, suffering a mental addiction/obsession with alcohol.
b. an alcoholic suffering from an illness/disease which is two-fold, comprising of a physical allergy and a mental obsession.
Said simply because in the long term they require two different approaches. You can, given the right treatment and response, cure addictions.
You cannot do that with alcoholism, the only respite from which is absolute abstinence from alcohol. Take that away, and the illness/disease of alcoholism remains...
As the noted AA speaker, Clancy's sponsor apparently once told him,' If your problem is alcoholism, your problem s not alcohol.' Indicating that alcohol is but a symptom of it.
Logically it the follows that if your problem is addiction to alcohol, the problem is alcohol.
So the necessity for anyone who is a 'problem drinker' is to be able to recognise and accept this within themselves, then you can, perhaps with the help of others, make real progress in recovery...
a. addicted to alcohol, suffering a mental addiction/obsession with alcohol.
b. an alcoholic suffering from an illness/disease which is two-fold, comprising of a physical allergy and a mental obsession.
Said simply because in the long term they require two different approaches. You can, given the right treatment and response, cure addictions.
You cannot do that with alcoholism, the only respite from which is absolute abstinence from alcohol. Take that away, and the illness/disease of alcoholism remains...
As the noted AA speaker, Clancy's sponsor apparently once told him,' If your problem is alcoholism, your problem s not alcohol.' Indicating that alcohol is but a symptom of it.
Logically it the follows that if your problem is addiction to alcohol, the problem is alcohol.
So the necessity for anyone who is a 'problem drinker' is to be able to recognise and accept this within themselves, then you can, perhaps with the help of others, make real progress in recovery...
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Congratulations, Max, on your choice of sobriety. You will never ever regret your decision to quit drinking for good. For your good, is how it turns out to be.
You will receive advice from well meaning folks, stalwart in their beliefs borne from their personal experiences, who might tell you that there is a difference between addiction to alcohol and alcoholism. This is a distinction that exists only within the context of a single recovery method. Psychiatry, psychology, physical medicine, none of these make the distinction, nor do SOS, Lifering, CBT, AVRT, WFS, SMART, etc.
Some will tell you, as I do, that there is no disease of alcoholism that can possibly exist without consumption of alcohol. There may be things we should address in terms of mental health, or spiritual health, or personal maturity, but addicts have no monopoly on these needs - these are aspects that bear examination by everyone who chooses to live a full and balanced life.
I want to tell you that you can choose to quit drinking, and do it, leave it behind you, and move on. This needs a belief in yourself, Max, a belief that you are capable (and you are) and that you deserve it (you do most certainly). You deserve a life without the misery of addiction to alcohol.
As with many aspects of personal change and growth, acceptance is an important first step. Are you ready to make your own personal acceptance about continuing to use alcohol?
You will receive advice from well meaning folks, stalwart in their beliefs borne from their personal experiences, who might tell you that there is a difference between addiction to alcohol and alcoholism. This is a distinction that exists only within the context of a single recovery method. Psychiatry, psychology, physical medicine, none of these make the distinction, nor do SOS, Lifering, CBT, AVRT, WFS, SMART, etc.
Some will tell you, as I do, that there is no disease of alcoholism that can possibly exist without consumption of alcohol. There may be things we should address in terms of mental health, or spiritual health, or personal maturity, but addicts have no monopoly on these needs - these are aspects that bear examination by everyone who chooses to live a full and balanced life.
I want to tell you that you can choose to quit drinking, and do it, leave it behind you, and move on. This needs a belief in yourself, Max, a belief that you are capable (and you are) and that you deserve it (you do most certainly). You deserve a life without the misery of addiction to alcohol.
As with many aspects of personal change and growth, acceptance is an important first step. Are you ready to make your own personal acceptance about continuing to use alcohol?
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Truth and perception..
An individuals perception in anyone or anything, is theirs and theirs alone...
It follows therefore that perception, yours , mine or anyone else's is not the truth and the truth, is the truth, is the truth...
And whilst I support the view that anyone on SR is free to offer their view (perception) on anything relative to the topic raised. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect it to be offered other than by way of constructive comment or criticism...as opposed to direct contradiction, along the lines of 'I'm right and you're wrong.'
I've always been lead to believe that these forums are not only open but accessible to anyone..presumably with the proviso that they act responsibly in a manner that involves sharing their experience, strength and hope to help others recover. As opposed to using them as a platform to pursue their own perceptions, which might not be the truth, to add to their own status...
Just my perception, as Epictetus said,'Man is not disturbed by things but his view (perception) of things.'
It follows therefore that perception, yours , mine or anyone else's is not the truth and the truth, is the truth, is the truth...
And whilst I support the view that anyone on SR is free to offer their view (perception) on anything relative to the topic raised. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect it to be offered other than by way of constructive comment or criticism...as opposed to direct contradiction, along the lines of 'I'm right and you're wrong.'
I've always been lead to believe that these forums are not only open but accessible to anyone..presumably with the proviso that they act responsibly in a manner that involves sharing their experience, strength and hope to help others recover. As opposed to using them as a platform to pursue their own perceptions, which might not be the truth, to add to their own status...
Just my perception, as Epictetus said,'Man is not disturbed by things but his view (perception) of things.'
paradox
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 665
Originally Posted by MaxMS 
I'm going to have to change who I am and not just the drinking. I am thinking of going to an AA to talk to others. I've found that even reading stories online of people going through it helps. It helps to realize I'm not alone and it's not impossible.
Yes, there are many other issues that I had to work on; not just my consumption of alcohol.
Some say that drinking alcoholically is but a symptom.
There are many ways to work on my issues, including alcoholism.
Having tried the psychiatric way, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous works for me now.
We all have our own journeys.
Please choose a path that suits you and your sobriety.
The only thing that will not work for anyone is doing nothing.
We have to work at it.
Welcome to SR, Max, and congratulations on beginning your sober journey.
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Thanks for your inspirational, thoughtful post.
Thanks for this, an excellent post, which reflects my own views on the subject entirely, although my own recovery was based on the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' enhanced by listening to a recording of one of 'Charlie and Joe's Big Book Study Meetings,' if whatever program or path you chose, provides recovery followed by lasting sobriety.You'll hear nothing but applause from me, really great post!
Those that disturb me are the ones who can't decide whether they're addicted to alcohol or suffer from the disease/illness of alcoholism and add to this by saying neither one exists?
Which suggests to me, a form of denial, which as you rightly say, indicates in reality they're doing nothing - 'you just know it'll all end in tears.'
Those that disturb me are the ones who can't decide whether they're addicted to alcohol or suffer from the disease/illness of alcoholism and add to this by saying neither one exists?
Which suggests to me, a form of denial, which as you rightly say, indicates in reality they're doing nothing - 'you just know it'll all end in tears.'
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Welcome, what's worked for me so far:
being absolutely certain that to continue to drink every day to excess was madness and I was on the road to ruin. Once I was sure, and I was building up to this (and still drinking )for a few years, I had to try as hard as could to stop drinking completely. The first week for me was the hardest physically, hope that's the same for you as then most of the physical stuff is out of the way.
Next I read lots and lots of self help books on getting sober, some better than others, but they kept me focussed.
I didn't join SR until I'd managed 7 weeks, not sure why and I'd have been better joining sooner, it's a good place to come every day.
Then I started to observe the benefits of being sober, that helps too and often people like to post about that on SR, so I join in.
The rest is a work in progress.
If you're determined, you'll find you're way and if you fall, get up again and give it another go. The alternative is ............... fill in the blanks.
Good luck x
being absolutely certain that to continue to drink every day to excess was madness and I was on the road to ruin. Once I was sure, and I was building up to this (and still drinking )for a few years, I had to try as hard as could to stop drinking completely. The first week for me was the hardest physically, hope that's the same for you as then most of the physical stuff is out of the way.
Next I read lots and lots of self help books on getting sober, some better than others, but they kept me focussed.
I didn't join SR until I'd managed 7 weeks, not sure why and I'd have been better joining sooner, it's a good place to come every day.
Then I started to observe the benefits of being sober, that helps too and often people like to post about that on SR, so I join in.
The rest is a work in progress.
If you're determined, you'll find you're way and if you fall, get up again and give it another go. The alternative is ............... fill in the blanks.
Good luck x
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
What's been working for me? Meds, vitamins, exercise, SR, Friday night chats here on SR.......there's also a Tuesday meeting here on SR, recognizing my triggers which are stress and sleeplessness, and keeping them in check, no bars - not even to eat, rearranging my friends, creating boundaries, eating as well as possible, chocolate and ice cream. I think that's about it...... I keep everything as simple as possible and I am not afraid to say no. 1 week is a great start. Keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Max, I'm on day 7 today. I have been on day 7 dozens of times, my weak point is the 6-8 week mark. I therefore feel you might find my successes for the first few weeks useful.
1. I built routines and habits. That allows me to go through the day without having to engage my decision making mind too much.
2. I stayed away from anyone that I used to drink with. I don't mean just the heavy drinkers, I mean even friends. It doesn't have to be forever, just long enough to get going.
3. I developed a plan, and kept working on it. Not just executing the plan, I mean reviewing it and updating it daily. I found that this work, coupled with posting to (as opposed to just reading) SR forums kept me vested in my recovery.
4. There are many different approaches to managing urges, such distraction as you mention, as well as many others such as calling a sponsor, prayer, CBT/REBT methods, urge surfing, etc. I tried many of them, kept a journal, and went with what worked for me.
5. Last but not least I listed all the goals that I wanted to achieve in life, including how they would make me feel, but failed to reach them because of alcohol. I review this several times a day and visualise it. I find that distracting myself by visualising my goals was the most effective distraction method for me.
If you do lapse, don't beat yourself up, it's not the end. Dust yourself off, remember how good sobriety felt and do it again.
All the best,
KP
1. I built routines and habits. That allows me to go through the day without having to engage my decision making mind too much.
2. I stayed away from anyone that I used to drink with. I don't mean just the heavy drinkers, I mean even friends. It doesn't have to be forever, just long enough to get going.
3. I developed a plan, and kept working on it. Not just executing the plan, I mean reviewing it and updating it daily. I found that this work, coupled with posting to (as opposed to just reading) SR forums kept me vested in my recovery.
4. There are many different approaches to managing urges, such distraction as you mention, as well as many others such as calling a sponsor, prayer, CBT/REBT methods, urge surfing, etc. I tried many of them, kept a journal, and went with what worked for me.
5. Last but not least I listed all the goals that I wanted to achieve in life, including how they would make me feel, but failed to reach them because of alcohol. I review this several times a day and visualise it. I find that distracting myself by visualising my goals was the most effective distraction method for me.
If you do lapse, don't beat yourself up, it's not the end. Dust yourself off, remember how good sobriety felt and do it again.
All the best,
KP
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