Will i ever be recovered?
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Will i ever be recovered?
I'm only 6 days sober but I have a question. Will I ever be recoverED? Some diseases can be cured so why not this one?
What I mean by recovered, is that will I ever be able to continue my next book in life, not chapter but a whole new book, without ever thinking about alcohol, meetings, and active work on recovery? Will I ever stop wanting and thinking alcohol? I see myself 10 years from now living a sober life and starting a new book where my alcoholism was in the past.
This got me thinking because I've been to 3 AA meetings so far this week and there's people there with 5+, 10+ years but they are still there. I know these people and many others have the desire and joy to help other people, just like people here on SR.
Dee, Anna, Soberwolf, Scott, PK and others; why do you keep coming back besides helping others? Are you recovered? Do you still have daily struggles with thinking about drinking? Do you still "work" recovery?
I know I'm nowhere near where I need to be and will continue working my recovery, but I'd like to think one day I will be RECOVERED and won't still have to attend meetings or SR (no offense, you guys are my lifesavers right now).
Jillian
What I mean by recovered, is that will I ever be able to continue my next book in life, not chapter but a whole new book, without ever thinking about alcohol, meetings, and active work on recovery? Will I ever stop wanting and thinking alcohol? I see myself 10 years from now living a sober life and starting a new book where my alcoholism was in the past.
This got me thinking because I've been to 3 AA meetings so far this week and there's people there with 5+, 10+ years but they are still there. I know these people and many others have the desire and joy to help other people, just like people here on SR.
Dee, Anna, Soberwolf, Scott, PK and others; why do you keep coming back besides helping others? Are you recovered? Do you still have daily struggles with thinking about drinking? Do you still "work" recovery?
I know I'm nowhere near where I need to be and will continue working my recovery, but I'd like to think one day I will be RECOVERED and won't still have to attend meetings or SR (no offense, you guys are my lifesavers right now).
Jillian
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Jillian, there are many who believe that we are always recovering alcoholics. That does not, however mean that we are always focused on alcohol as we are in early days. I had several years-long periods of not drinking - the last one was 13 years. No, we are never cured because our brain opioid receptors simply don't go back to normal.
All of that said, as we get past the early months if we have been working our recovery we find that the benefits of a sober life so far outweigh the negatives that it's not hard. Every once in awhile I still sigh and wish I could drink "normally" but I know I can't. It's more of a passing thought than a real craving. Every once in awhile, especially if I'm stressed, I do still have cravings but they are easier to deal with.
Acceptance goes a very long way :-)
All of that said, as we get past the early months if we have been working our recovery we find that the benefits of a sober life so far outweigh the negatives that it's not hard. Every once in awhile I still sigh and wish I could drink "normally" but I know I can't. It's more of a passing thought than a real craving. Every once in awhile, especially if I'm stressed, I do still have cravings but they are easier to deal with.
Acceptance goes a very long way :-)
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I don't believe I will ever be 100% "recovered" from my drinking problem/alcoholism like you can recover from a cold/flu/virus etc. I have thought so in the past after a period of sobriety, tried to drink "normally" and ended up right back in the same daily binge cycle in short order.
Having said that, I definitely have a new life now. I basically go about most of my day without thoughts of alcohol or "cravings/triggers/etc...". I go where I want to and do what I want to do without worry of drinking hanging over my head. Granted I don't hang out in bars or at drinking specific events, but there is no need for me to and I don't feel drawn to them.
Why do I come here still? Because I feel that daily reminders of why I don't drink are helpful to me. And I feel that helping others helps me too. I'm sure the "old timers" at AA or other meetings do so partially for the same reason.
Please keep in mind that 6 days sober is fantastic, but it is extremely early....possibly still within the acute withdrawal phase. As addicts we seek instant gratification, and it's no different when seeking sobriety too. Give it time and it will improve drastically.
Having said that, I definitely have a new life now. I basically go about most of my day without thoughts of alcohol or "cravings/triggers/etc...". I go where I want to and do what I want to do without worry of drinking hanging over my head. Granted I don't hang out in bars or at drinking specific events, but there is no need for me to and I don't feel drawn to them.
Why do I come here still? Because I feel that daily reminders of why I don't drink are helpful to me. And I feel that helping others helps me too. I'm sure the "old timers" at AA or other meetings do so partially for the same reason.
Please keep in mind that 6 days sober is fantastic, but it is extremely early....possibly still within the acute withdrawal phase. As addicts we seek instant gratification, and it's no different when seeking sobriety too. Give it time and it will improve drastically.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
From the very first page of the first foreword to Alcoholics Anonymous, aka the Big Book, I have bolded a few parts:
Those are not the only two times that the word "recovered" is used in the book, but they're extra important because they're from the very first paragraph of the first edition.
So, yes, this seems to say you can be recovered with a caveat--recovered as long as you don't take that first drink. Once you are recovered, you may not want to stop going to meetings as helping others is what keeps those people with 5 or 10 years sober each and every day. They are giving back what has been given to them.
Or you may not keep going to meetings. My dad has been sober 32 years this month. He slowly dropped away from meetings after a few years.
I wouldn't worry about looking so far into the future for now. Focus on your own recovery and worry about what you'll do when you're recovered when you get to that point.
Interesting question, I look forward to hearing from others who have long term sobriety.
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.
So, yes, this seems to say you can be recovered with a caveat--recovered as long as you don't take that first drink. Once you are recovered, you may not want to stop going to meetings as helping others is what keeps those people with 5 or 10 years sober each and every day. They are giving back what has been given to them.
Or you may not keep going to meetings. My dad has been sober 32 years this month. He slowly dropped away from meetings after a few years.
I wouldn't worry about looking so far into the future for now. Focus on your own recovery and worry about what you'll do when you're recovered when you get to that point.
Interesting question, I look forward to hearing from others who have long term sobriety.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,352
After awhile I lost my desire to drink. My brain healed and logic took over again. Not drinking is normal for me now. I am one who considers myself recovered. By that I mean I have undone the damage drinking caused to me mentally. I am back where I was and know better then to ever drink again, not that I can drink normally because that's BS and part of addict thinking. I have learned to identify some of the screwed up thought processes. I still have thoughts from time to time but I am not fooled by them anymore.
Recovery felt like a full time job the first year. There is a lot going on and it's not going to always be that way. At about 6 months recovery switched from being about alcohol and switched to being about putting myself back together. The putting myself back together part has taken way longer then the getting over drinking. I still come to SR because I enjoy it. There is usually something I am trying to work out and it helps. Plus recovery is a long process and even at 2.5 years I am not out of the woods. Having a plan in place shows to my AV that I take the situation seriously.
Recovery felt like a full time job the first year. There is a lot going on and it's not going to always be that way. At about 6 months recovery switched from being about alcohol and switched to being about putting myself back together. The putting myself back together part has taken way longer then the getting over drinking. I still come to SR because I enjoy it. There is usually something I am trying to work out and it helps. Plus recovery is a long process and even at 2.5 years I am not out of the woods. Having a plan in place shows to my AV that I take the situation seriously.
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Jillian , I so wish I could say yes , but I believe it would be a fib 
These posters make some great points though 
I don't speak with many years sober . I can go by my parents lives . They both were alcoholics since their teen age years , until they hit rock bottom around 50+ age . For the 20 plus years ( that I had them) after their sobriety . I became an alcoholic . They made it work (together) with no outside help .
To look at them you would have never known . Like any other person you would see on the street walking pass .
You can be normal not have that Stamp of I'm an Alcoholic . You don't have to tell anyone . As long as you know your triggers & tell your AV to shut up . You can lead a normal life .
I'm reaching for the right words - If you have ever or know someone that has had a bad relationship ( say with another person ) it's behind them they move on . They find ways to get past it. Make a life without them .
Alcohol = bad relationship .
Don't know if I made since here , I at least tried
These posters make some great points though I don't speak with many years sober . I can go by my parents lives . They both were alcoholics since their teen age years , until they hit rock bottom around 50+ age . For the 20 plus years ( that I had them) after their sobriety . I became an alcoholic . They made it work (together) with no outside help .
To look at them you would have never known . Like any other person you would see on the street walking pass .
You can be normal not have that Stamp of I'm an Alcoholic . You don't have to tell anyone . As long as you know your triggers & tell your AV to shut up . You can lead a normal life .
I'm reaching for the right words - If you have ever or know someone that has had a bad relationship ( say with another person ) it's behind them they move on . They find ways to get past it. Make a life without them .
Alcohol = bad relationship .
Don't know if I made since here , I at least tried
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Hi, Jillian --
Yes, it is entirely within your reach.
Writing and words are important to me. I've struggled some with the idea of "recovering" vs. "recovered." The part of me that has gained confidence -- and I gain some one day at a time -- wants to look at myself as "recovered." And I am very committed to that. As Saskia notes, though, our brains have been altered and that means when I weigh the proper verb tense, "recovering" is probably the more accurate description.
Verbs aside, I like your description of a book. Think of your book as one in which the main character faced immense challenges in the some chapters. As the chapters unfold, she struggled to change the narrative. It is a complex journey.
The chapters to follow offer a richer story, particularly compared to the earlier ones in which she was held back from being her true self. The stories to be mined in the chapters yet to be written are characterized by the potential that is delivered by freedom. The unchained you.
That's how I look at it. I take great inspiration from the long-timers here -- and there are plenty of them -- who continue to write the chapters of lives lived to the fullest. I stay hoping to be one of them someday, a long-timer who shares parts of her story here to help others and to live with the most remarkable support structure I could ask for, one that helps me continue writing the unchained chapters about the complete me.
This is all still very early for you. At six days, you're still writing the pivotal transition in your story. Don't jump ahead. Don't worry about whether you'll be attending AA for the rest of your life or participating in SR. Live in the now and concentrate on becoming the heroine of your own story. The point will come when you need to decide how best to write the unwritten chapters, but for now, just work on the story that you need to build them.
Yes, it is entirely within your reach.
Writing and words are important to me. I've struggled some with the idea of "recovering" vs. "recovered." The part of me that has gained confidence -- and I gain some one day at a time -- wants to look at myself as "recovered." And I am very committed to that. As Saskia notes, though, our brains have been altered and that means when I weigh the proper verb tense, "recovering" is probably the more accurate description.
Verbs aside, I like your description of a book. Think of your book as one in which the main character faced immense challenges in the some chapters. As the chapters unfold, she struggled to change the narrative. It is a complex journey.
The chapters to follow offer a richer story, particularly compared to the earlier ones in which she was held back from being her true self. The stories to be mined in the chapters yet to be written are characterized by the potential that is delivered by freedom. The unchained you.
That's how I look at it. I take great inspiration from the long-timers here -- and there are plenty of them -- who continue to write the chapters of lives lived to the fullest. I stay hoping to be one of them someday, a long-timer who shares parts of her story here to help others and to live with the most remarkable support structure I could ask for, one that helps me continue writing the unchained chapters about the complete me.
This is all still very early for you. At six days, you're still writing the pivotal transition in your story. Don't jump ahead. Don't worry about whether you'll be attending AA for the rest of your life or participating in SR. Live in the now and concentrate on becoming the heroine of your own story. The point will come when you need to decide how best to write the unwritten chapters, but for now, just work on the story that you need to build them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
I know I'm still very early into sobriety but it was just a question that popped up. I'm doing more thinking since I quit drinking!
Thanks for your thoughts.
That's a good comparison Nest; that's what I was thinking. Like an EX. I occasional think about an ex but that's al behind me. That's what I hope to experience one day with alcohol. Being recovered.
Thanks for your thoughts.
That's a good comparison Nest; that's what I was thinking. Like an EX. I occasional think about an ex but that's al behind me. That's what I hope to experience one day with alcohol. Being recovered.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Originally Posted by Jillian2563 
Dee, Anna, Soberwolf, Scott, PK and others; why do you keep coming back besides helping others? Are you recovered? Do you still have daily struggles with thinking about drinking? Do you still "work" recovery?
Jillian
Jillian
I never think about drinking and have no struggles with a desire to drink. For me, recovery is simply living the best life I can. I was lucky to understand at the outset of recovery that balance in my life would be the key. Nothing was going to be sustainable for me without balance. My walking/hiking matters so much to me, as does my reading, journaling, socializing. My spiritual journey is especially important to me, and SR is part of the plan. I am always inspired when I come here, and I am always encouraged to look at myself and where I am going.
Recovery is never a chore for me and always a joy. I suppose I could call myself 'recovered', though I will never forget the relentless determination of this disease.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Congrats on day 6 Jillian i come back besides helping others but PRIMAIRLY for myself ... Alcoholics understand alcoholics the struggle to get sober the backstories the pain & redemption Alcoholics understand this better because they have been through it and i dont ever want to forget why i stay sober
Recovered is a term i dont use ... I am alcoholic this term saved my life
Recovered for me opens the door
Recovered is a term i dont use ... I am alcoholic this term saved my life
Recovered for me opens the door
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
CaseyW, in Post #4, had a great quote from AA's BB, however, I prefer what's on the title page, right under the title: "Alcoholics Anonymous" it continues and says "The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have RECOVERED from Alcoholism" ........and I'm one of those thousands..............
(o:
NoelleR
(o:
NoelleR
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Jillian,
yes, you can be recovered.
i'm recovered in the sense of no obsession about drink, no need or desire, no nothing about anything like that.
but no, i am not "cured" in the way of meaning i could now drink normally. that, to me, would be what cured means.
alcohol and drinking thoughts aren't on my radar, are irrelevant to my life.
alcoholism is a different story and i like the word "condition" to describe it.
you will have plenty of time to figure out what fits for you if you just keep going with the sober days.
but yes, we can be recovered.
yes, you can be recovered.
i'm recovered in the sense of no obsession about drink, no need or desire, no nothing about anything like that.
but no, i am not "cured" in the way of meaning i could now drink normally. that, to me, would be what cured means.
alcohol and drinking thoughts aren't on my radar, are irrelevant to my life.
alcoholism is a different story and i like the word "condition" to describe it.
you will have plenty of time to figure out what fits for you if you just keep going with the sober days.
but yes, we can be recovered.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
I can identify three phases in my own journey so far. The first was when I quit drinking and identified as an alcoholic. My focus was almost entirely on not drinking and was when I was dealing with daily cravings and the emotional upheaval and instability of starting to face life without the crutch of alcohol. For me that phase actively occupied my mind almost all the time.
Next I moved into embracing sobriety. I experienced a mental shift and chose sobriety. Cravings began to happen less often. The focus became less about getting through a day without drinking and more about working on the root causes of what drove me to drink. Sobriety still actively occupied my mind for most of my waking hours, and several months into this I got so tired of "doing sobriety". Something as simple as walking by a liquor store would trigger thoughts about how "I don't go there anymore".
The latest phase has been what I call recovery. Sobriety has expanded beyond alcohol and not drinking. I don't have a desire to drink, and I very rarely think about "not drinking". I'll get home from work and realize I walked by the liquor store and never even noticed it. I know that I can never drink again and that I need support to stay away from drugs and alcohol, but terms like drug addict, alcoholic and being sober no longer really resonate with me in a meaningful way. Recovery is where I find my strength because now my path is about a journey toward wholeness. It encompasses all of my human condition, and it's a destination I won't ever reach in a concrete, objective sense.
So yes, you can recover, but you may never be fully recovered. :-)
Next I moved into embracing sobriety. I experienced a mental shift and chose sobriety. Cravings began to happen less often. The focus became less about getting through a day without drinking and more about working on the root causes of what drove me to drink. Sobriety still actively occupied my mind for most of my waking hours, and several months into this I got so tired of "doing sobriety". Something as simple as walking by a liquor store would trigger thoughts about how "I don't go there anymore".
The latest phase has been what I call recovery. Sobriety has expanded beyond alcohol and not drinking. I don't have a desire to drink, and I very rarely think about "not drinking". I'll get home from work and realize I walked by the liquor store and never even noticed it. I know that I can never drink again and that I need support to stay away from drugs and alcohol, but terms like drug addict, alcoholic and being sober no longer really resonate with me in a meaningful way. Recovery is where I find my strength because now my path is about a journey toward wholeness. It encompasses all of my human condition, and it's a destination I won't ever reach in a concrete, objective sense.
So yes, you can recover, but you may never be fully recovered. :-)
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I consider myself recovered too but it does not mean that I can grow complacent. The AV could always pop it s ugly head: I relapsed after five years and it is not that uncommon for people to pick up after years of sobriety if they do not remain vigilant.
Like Silentrun wrote, the first year is a lot of work and it's like almost everything is about recovery: that's the way to go if you want build a good foundation for your sober life.
Like Silentrun wrote, the first year is a lot of work and it's like almost everything is about recovery: that's the way to go if you want build a good foundation for your sober life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Recovered for me is when more and more things become routine, in the same way alcohol was once a routine, I now have new habits and routines, but that took time to entrench, the more I did new things, carved out a new lifestyle, my old way of life got pushed to the side.
Yesterday evening after work I no longer thought about having a Friday night drink, this Saturday evening I'm sitting here with a pot of green tea, there was no decision to be made when I reached for my teapot, tomorrow morning I expect to wake up without a hangover and will be having a coffee over my Sunday newspaper, these things I now do on autopilot, there are no conscious decisions to be made anymore, but it took time to carve out this new life to the point of not having to think about it or struggle over it.
When it comes to stressful situations or social events, again the more repetition and drawing on the support/tools of other things rather than alcohol, the more it has become routine also, a stressful day at work is now not something I have an internal battle over having a drink, instead I reach for the other tools/resources I have to deal with it.
There was once a time when I never knew what alcohol was, I enjoyed weekends without it, I went to school and had stresses and never reached for a bottle when I got home, that place we can go back to!!
As for SR, it is a reminder of where I was, and where I don't want to ever go back to, plus for me I always want people who understand and get it as a part of my life, I don't have those relationships in real life, finally giving back to the community is something I can do as part of my day that adds to my own life!!
Yesterday evening after work I no longer thought about having a Friday night drink, this Saturday evening I'm sitting here with a pot of green tea, there was no decision to be made when I reached for my teapot, tomorrow morning I expect to wake up without a hangover and will be having a coffee over my Sunday newspaper, these things I now do on autopilot, there are no conscious decisions to be made anymore, but it took time to carve out this new life to the point of not having to think about it or struggle over it.
When it comes to stressful situations or social events, again the more repetition and drawing on the support/tools of other things rather than alcohol, the more it has become routine also, a stressful day at work is now not something I have an internal battle over having a drink, instead I reach for the other tools/resources I have to deal with it.
There was once a time when I never knew what alcohol was, I enjoyed weekends without it, I went to school and had stresses and never reached for a bottle when I got home, that place we can go back to!!
As for SR, it is a reminder of where I was, and where I don't want to ever go back to, plus for me I always want people who understand and get it as a part of my life, I don't have those relationships in real life, finally giving back to the community is something I can do as part of my day that adds to my own life!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
I have several health issues I'm never going to recover from, so the whole recovered/recovering thing is a bit of a non event for me these days to be honest.
All I know is I once was a round the clock drinker, for many years.
Now I'm not haunted by cravings, or envy of drinkers, and I'm no longer conditioned to run to the bottle at the first sign of trouble.
I can't call myself cured cos I know theoretically I could throw myself back into the abyss if I wanted.
but... I'm free, I'm happy, and I'm at peace....but still striving for improvement and more personal growth.
I love my life and who I am.
Alcohol and drugs are no longer an issue.
I have many motivations for still being here at SR - but fear of alcohol and addiction is not one of them
I dunno what you call me exactly but I'm glad I'm it
If I can do this, anyone can Jillian - never give up hope!
D
All I know is I once was a round the clock drinker, for many years.
Now I'm not haunted by cravings, or envy of drinkers, and I'm no longer conditioned to run to the bottle at the first sign of trouble.
I can't call myself cured cos I know theoretically I could throw myself back into the abyss if I wanted.
but... I'm free, I'm happy, and I'm at peace....but still striving for improvement and more personal growth.
I love my life and who I am.
Alcohol and drugs are no longer an issue.
I have many motivations for still being here at SR - but fear of alcohol and addiction is not one of them
I dunno what you call me exactly but I'm glad I'm it
If I can do this, anyone can Jillian - never give up hope!
D
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