Findingtheway

So here i type...About 1 week shy of 7 months of sobriety.

I have a sponsor that i'm in contact with daily.
My Health has improved.
My Finances have improved.
My work ethic has improved.

Life has improved in many areas.

Yet the old non sense ideas about drinking are creeping back in!

I'm at the office today. My Boss is away golfing.

This in the old days...would be...well a drinking day. Go out for lunch and don't come back kind of deal.

Well i know what that led to. I don't want to go back there.

But the THOUGHT is back again today. It's irritating to be sure. But i'm taking an ACTION on it.

That's why i need you guys at SR. For moments like this.

Going for a walk to get some fresh air.

Thanks for being here everyone.

Findingtheway

Ruby2

I know how you feel. Those thoughts come back to haunt me sometimes too but they are only thoughts. Uncomfortable for sure, but so long as you don't transform those thoughts into action, you'll do fine.

Great work recognizing it for what it is, coming here, and taking a walk. Congratulations on 7 months. That's great.

biminiblue

Six months was a turning point for me. At about that time I had a lot of inner chatter about drinking again.

Good job posting about it. I found huge changes physically and mentally around nine months. Hang on, it's worth it.

ScottFromWI

Great job on coming here first to talk it out and taking action. It's important to remember that what you are experiencing are just THOUGHTS ...and you have 100% control of the CHOICES you make in response to them. Writing it out sometimes helps, and you've already written down the consequences of what would happen if you chose to drink.

Another way to look at this day specifically is that now that the boss is gone, think of all the stuff you could get done that you don't have a chance to when they are around. Channel the energy into positive projects/ideas.

DoubleFelix

You're right, thoughts, frustrating as they can be, are only thoughts. It's how we interact with them that matters. Awesome to see such self-awareness, and good use of SR, Findingtheway.

I hope you're enjoying your walk.

Soberwolf

Good job coming here Finding have you tried urgesurfing http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...surfing-2.html

BBQBOY

Yea, that Addictive Voice is a real pain in the butt. A walk is a great idea..the AV hates walks! Keep up the good fight and don't give it any power..

MIRecovery

A meeting always works for me. I would also look at what I'm not doing that I have done in the past

sg1970

Have you worked the Steps?

Anna

Good for you for taking action today Findingtheway, and for recognizing that you must not act on the feelings of wanting to drink.

Findingtheway

Regarding the steps....Yes i'm in the process of working through them with my sponsor.

I'm currently working through steps 6 & 7. Working towards making amends to my family and friends i have hurt through my actions.

Still trying to pin point what my biggest defects of character are.

firstymer

I think about punching my boss in the nose from time to time. Or running away from home. Or having a drink. It's perfectly normal. Expect it. Think of ways to deal with it. And take comfort in knowing that, as you add more months of sobriety, the thoughts will come less frequently, and the choice not to act on those thoughts will become more and more obvious.

You are in exactly the right place. Doing exactly the right thing.

MyTime86

You'll have days like this. Ride it out, you will be happy you did when it passes.
Just imagine how upset you would be tomorrow if you gave in.

alphaomega

This is me right now. Thank you Bim for posting this. It going to keep me going this weekend. ((((((((BIM)))))))

Dee74

Hi findingtheway

I'm not too enamoured of the word failure, but I'll use it in the context.

The way I see it is - thinking about drinking is not a failure.

I thought about drinking for a lot time after I got sober - but it's not a failure.
I was simply doing what I did for decades.

Not doing anything in response to those thoughts, and not using your sobriety tools - that would be a failure, or at least remiss of us.

My recovery is measured in the response I give to those crazy insane ideas.

You're doing well, FTW. Drag those monsters out in the light

D