Again another Hit!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Barrie, Ontario
Posts: 4
Again another Hit!
I've been trying so hard to control myself. But every time my husband argues I want to hit my head on the wall! I have this urge to suicide. I know I'm the reason he scolds me, I'm not right at all.....y am I spoiling his life! I'm tired and done....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi Deb - welcome 
I'm sorry you feel so badly...please do seek help if you're feeling really low:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
https://ontario.cmha.ca/mental-healt...risis-support/
There's tons of support and friends to meet here too
D
I'm sorry you feel so badly...please do seek help if you're feeling really low:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
Ontario Mental Health Hotline
Call 1-866-531-2600
Call 24/7 for information.
Call 1-866-531-2600
Call 24/7 for information.
There's tons of support and friends to meet here too
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Deb, my heart breaks reading your words. Please find a way to call that number or to seek out someone you trust for a face to face talk or a chat on the phone.
I understand you when you say that "I know I am the reason he scolds me" I do, I know what that feels like. But it is not healthy, it is not normal and it is not ok. You may have your faults- we all do- and "scolding" from someone close to us may sometimes be in order, but not to the level it drives you to hate yourself or consider suicide.
I don't care what you have done, but I do know that it is nothing that warrants you taking your own life or even feeling like it.
Are you an alcoholic? Drug addict? Is he?
If it is you that is an alcoholic or drug addict, your addiction is certainly working against you. I know that every time I drink to excess I feel very depressed, it is a common side effect of drinking too much.
I want to tell you that many years ago, over ten years now, I was on the brink of suicide. I was coming off a prescription medication that was toxic to me and I think that these withdrawals led me to feeling that way. I reached out on an online forum (about music) and someone immediately called me and talked me down. I am so thankful for that moment. Since then, despite my struggles with alcoholism, I have lived a difficult, but wonderful life.
You have so much more to live, to offer and to receive.
Please, call someone now. You don't have to feel this way. I don't even know you and I care tremendously what happens to you. Those are genuine words, not just BS on the internet, I care TREMENDOUSLY what happens to you. Just imagine what those close to you must feel if a mere stranger feels this way.
Please make the call. Or message me. Or message someone else on here to whom you relate. I guarantee you will not be left in the lurch.
Please check in.
I understand you when you say that "I know I am the reason he scolds me" I do, I know what that feels like. But it is not healthy, it is not normal and it is not ok. You may have your faults- we all do- and "scolding" from someone close to us may sometimes be in order, but not to the level it drives you to hate yourself or consider suicide.
I don't care what you have done, but I do know that it is nothing that warrants you taking your own life or even feeling like it.
Are you an alcoholic? Drug addict? Is he?
If it is you that is an alcoholic or drug addict, your addiction is certainly working against you. I know that every time I drink to excess I feel very depressed, it is a common side effect of drinking too much.
I want to tell you that many years ago, over ten years now, I was on the brink of suicide. I was coming off a prescription medication that was toxic to me and I think that these withdrawals led me to feeling that way. I reached out on an online forum (about music) and someone immediately called me and talked me down. I am so thankful for that moment. Since then, despite my struggles with alcoholism, I have lived a difficult, but wonderful life.
You have so much more to live, to offer and to receive.
Please, call someone now. You don't have to feel this way. I don't even know you and I care tremendously what happens to you. Those are genuine words, not just BS on the internet, I care TREMENDOUSLY what happens to you. Just imagine what those close to you must feel if a mere stranger feels this way.
Please make the call. Or message me. Or message someone else on here to whom you relate. I guarantee you will not be left in the lurch.
Please check in.
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