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Old 07-07-2015, 01:04 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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If it's any consolation you will be doing somebody a great service by asking them to be your sponsor and to work the steps with you. I always felt like a nuisance to my sponsor until someone asked me to sponsor them . It's a nice feeling. It's nice to get things off our chests with somebody we trust
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Old 07-07-2015, 03:31 PM
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Hi Ray

I know it's scary - but not stopping is scarier still right?

There's a lot of support and understanding here - you're not alone
Welcome

D
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Old 07-07-2015, 03:35 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sleepbetteray View Post
Hi Thomas11. I really haven't tried if I'm being honest with myself. But, I have been able to just not drink for a few weeks or a month here and there.

I've told my wife, I was really through "this time" but I didn't commit.

I've in this current routine for more or less a year.
I asked to see just how deep in the muck you were in. In the grand scheme of things...fairly light. Ultimately you will have to stop for yourself. Quitting for reasons other than yourself will be temporary (usually), but right behind you, I'd say you have 3 more pretty damn good reasons to stop. 2 small children and a wife.
Think of the effort you are putting in, to sneak around a get those beers in, alot in my opinion. I think we all know its not worth it. Anyway, you have come to the right place, people here will help you every step of the away. No one will judge, just help. Wish you the best.
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Old 07-07-2015, 03:40 PM
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welcome Ray! you made a great first step today.
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Old 07-07-2015, 03:45 PM
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Great to meet you Ray! I'm so glad you want to reclaim your life and get free.

I was doing the same thing at the end of my drinking career. Once it was in my system, I had to keep going until I was good and numb. Not sure why I felt it necessary to do that - it went on for many years. I was afraid too - but I don't know why. Drinking had stopped being fun & entertaining long before I quit. It's a wonderful gift you'll be giving yourself. You can do it Ray.
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Old 07-07-2015, 05:03 PM
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This is so true

Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Great to meet you Ray! I'm so glad you want to reclaim your life and get free.

I was doing the same thing at the end of my drinking career. Once it was in my system, I had to keep going until I was good and numb. Not sure why I felt it necessary to do that - it went on for many years. I was afraid too - but I don't know why. Drinking had stopped being fun & entertaining long before I quit. It's a wonderful gift you'll be giving yourself. You can do it Ray.
Totally agree. Drinking hasn't been fun for years. Such a burden.
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Old 07-07-2015, 05:07 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Thank you

Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
I asked to see just how deep in the muck you were in. In the grand scheme of things...fairly light. Ultimately you will have to stop for yourself. Quitting for reasons other than yourself will be temporary (usually), but right behind you, I'd say you have 3 more pretty damn good reasons to stop. 2 small children and a wife.
Think of the effort you are putting in, to sneak around a get those beers in, alot in my opinion. I think we all know its not worth it. Anyway, you have come to the right place, people here will help you every step of the away. No one will judge, just help. Wish you the best.
I'm ashamed of my behavior. I'd wake up everyday swearing I wouldn't do it again. But, two days with no booze is a start.
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Old 07-07-2015, 05:30 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Welcome Ray! I'm new to sobriety too, although my substance was marijuana. Writing out a recovery plan has been helpful- and coming here.
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Old 07-07-2015, 07:01 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sleepbetteray View Post
thanks firstymer. Did you start with AA?
I have never been to AA. I have relied primarily on the support I have received here at SR. But I am ready to use any method necessary, including AA if I feel my resolve weaken.

Good luck Ray. I am glad you are here with us.
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Old 07-07-2015, 07:26 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Hi, Ray-

Welcome to SR! You took a great first step today.

Yes, it's sad you are drinking in your car around the corner. But every single one of us has done something just as sad in our addiction.

My husband has asked me for the past 2 yrs to quit drinking. I couldn't do it for him or our kids, although I wished so much I could. I had to get to that final straw where I decided I was ready to be done and I deserved a sober life, and that they deserved a sober me.

I drank in the evenings only, so for a long time thought I wasn't hurting anyone. I was so wrong. My husband would come home and I would make it seem like I was just opening the first bottle of wine to share with him for dinner. The truth? I had already pounded an entire bottle myself within a ridiculously small time frame and hid the bottle in the trash. He would know I was drinking yet I would deny it vehemently.

The Sober Me would never lie. Period.

I decided on 5/14/15 to take alcohol off the table. Arguments with my husband have all but ceased (since he doesn't need to nag me about drinking, and I am not picking random fights) and my kids are so happy.

You will find a lot of support here! I use SR for my main source of recovery, but I have read into many other methods as well, including AVRT, SMART, and AA. I also read whatever I could about recovery/ addiction. Something will make sense to you if you dig in.

Great to meet you!
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Old 07-07-2015, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Sleepbetteray View Post
I'm ashamed of my behavior. I'd wake up everyday swearing I wouldn't do it again. But, two days with no booze is a start.
Darn right it is! Good for you.
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Old 07-07-2015, 08:10 PM
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Thanks a bunch!
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Old 07-07-2015, 08:14 PM
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Welcome Ray, so pleased you found us.
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Old 07-07-2015, 09:10 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Ray you seem to be capable of self-esteem, although booze can hit it badly. Look at your life as a story someone is telling years later. Do you want it to say 'and sadly he couldn't overcome his demons and he lost his marriage, his relationship with his children....you've got to pity him' or 'he woke up in time to rescue his marriage and go on from strength to strength'? The feeling that drunkenness wasn't going to be the end of my story, that I was better than that, was what finally motivated me. Once you have that motivation quitting becomes a choice not a deprivation.

Your decision to stop drinking should not be something imposed on you by outside forces (fear, your wife, your family) - it is what you choose for yourself. If you start drinking again, that will be a choice as well.

Sometimes choosing to stay sober includes seeking support from doctors, groups, mentors, SR etc, because you're determined to give yourself every advantage.
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Old 07-08-2015, 07:01 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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That is powerful, thank you

Originally Posted by FeelingGreat View Post
Ray you seem to be capable of self-esteem, although booze can hit it badly. Look at your life as a story someone is telling years later. Do you want it to say 'and sadly he couldn't overcome his demons and he lost his marriage, his relationship with his children....you've got to pity him' or 'he woke up in time to rescue his marriage and go on from strength to strength'? The feeling that drunkenness wasn't going to be the end of my story, that I was better than that, was what finally motivated me. Once you have that motivation quitting becomes a choice not a deprivation.

Your decision to stop drinking should not be something imposed on you by outside forces (fear, your wife, your family) - it is what you choose for yourself. If you start drinking again, that will be a choice as well.

Sometimes choosing to stay sober includes seeking support from doctors, groups, mentors, SR etc, because you're determined to give yourself every advantage.
I hadn't thought much about how someone would tell my story in the future. And I've told some of those sad stories about friends and family members who had troubles. It's sad. I appreciate your post very much and the response I've received on SR has been amazing.

Thanks for all thoughts and feedback.
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