First meeting tonight - nervous
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
First meeting tonight - nervous
So 18 days sober today. I'm not going to lie some days have been very difficult but I'm powering through and feel more determined then ever. I am going to attend my first AA meeting this evening as I feel this will benefit me long term as long term is how I want to see my sobriety. I am SO nervous. Just had a few questions if anyone can help me?
Can I just turn up? Should I get there early? How do I know what room to go into? Are the meetings in general quite big? How long do the meetings last? Do I need to take anything with me?
Thanks everyone in advance
Can I just turn up? Should I get there early? How do I know what room to go into? Are the meetings in general quite big? How long do the meetings last? Do I need to take anything with me?
Thanks everyone in advance
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You'll see people walking in...follow them.
Getting there early or late doesn't matter. Just get there
You don't need to take anything. The length of the meeting should be online or wherever you got the meeting info. Usually an hour or an hour and a half.
Some meetings have three people, some have a hundred. Each has its benefits.
You'll be fine. You'll like it.
Getting there early or late doesn't matter. Just get there
You don't need to take anything. The length of the meeting should be online or wherever you got the meeting info. Usually an hour or an hour and a half.
Some meetings have three people, some have a hundred. Each has its benefits.
You'll be fine. You'll like it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: oregon
Posts: 6
Go to the meetings
You will be welcome. Remember everyone there has been where you are. You might have to try different meetings until you find one that fits. I like small meetings. I drive 30 min to mine and attend 4 days a week. My meeting has about 10 people and everyone shares. This has been a life changing experience. My first meeting I was anxious, shaking,voice cracking,mind racing. I was worried about saying something stupid. The shame and anger that I could not drink like others was overwhelming. All of this will pass with time. I have been sober 2 months and life is beautiful. You can read my first posts to see what a mess I was. I have been to meetings before but never worked the steps. For me nothing I tried until I got serious. Don't give up. Life can be great without alcohol. I think about it at times. I know I can never take that first drink. Take care of yourself ! Let me know how your meeting went.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 770
Getting there a little early might be a good way to socialize before the meeting but don't worry about getting there late or anything like that- the doors will be open and there will be a chair for you.
They usually ask if there are any newcomers, so that people will know to welcome you after the meeting.
Thus is a great time to find out more about the program and people will often give you a meeting schedule and will often tell u which meetings they prefer.
about being nervous - most of us are before our first meeting,,it is a very brave thing to do. I sat in the car for my first meeting never made it inside til a month later
They usually ask if there are any newcomers, so that people will know to welcome you after the meeting.
Thus is a great time to find out more about the program and people will often give you a meeting schedule and will often tell u which meetings they prefer.
about being nervous - most of us are before our first meeting,,it is a very brave thing to do. I sat in the car for my first meeting
never made it inside til a month later
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I was nervous for my first meeting too. We've all been new once too. Just go. I suggest getting there a little early. That way you can follow other people inside. I usually say "look for the smokers outside" if you're not sure of the location. I don't like walking in late because people tend to turn and look when you walk in and that is at any meeting, not just AA.
Meetings have to cover costs for rent and coffee and literature so they generally pass a basket for a small donation. A dollar will do, or a pound. If you don't have it, don't worry. It's not a requirement as there are no dues or fees.
Beyond introducing yourself, you don't have to talk. You can sit and listen. Eventually you'll feel more comfortable.
Good work on day 18.
Meetings have to cover costs for rent and coffee and literature so they generally pass a basket for a small donation. A dollar will do, or a pound. If you don't have it, don't worry. It's not a requirement as there are no dues or fees.
Beyond introducing yourself, you don't have to talk. You can sit and listen. Eventually you'll feel more comfortable.
Good work on day 18.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Can I just turn up?
Should I get there early?
Absolutely. All who want to stop drinking are welcome at any meeting anywhere anytime. I'd get there a few minutes early to give yourself time to figure out exactly what room the meeting is in, get yourself a coffee if you want one. But if you get there a little late on accident, no big deal either. There are no hall monitors or tardy slips in AA.
How do I know what room to go into?
It's usually pretty obvious as it'll be the room with all the chairs in it and probably the most people mingling around but if it's not obvious then just ask someone. More than likely, someone will notice you're new and ask you. Recovering alcoholics are a friendly, helpful bunch.
Are the meetings in general quite big?
Depends on the meeting. I've been to meetings that had hundreds of people and to ones where it was me and one other person. But I'd say as a general rule, there are 20 to 50 people at the vast majority of meetings in normal sized cities.
How long do the meetings last?
Most meetings are an hour but I've seen 1.5 hour meetings a very few times.
Do I need to take anything with me?
Just an open mind and a desire to stop drinking.
2change has already mentioned this but I wanted to second the idea that if for some reason this meeting doesn't click with you, try a different one. Every single meeting has a different personality, even meetings on different days/times at the same meeting rooms will have differences of some kind. You'll find some that speak to you better than others.
I highly suggest reading this great post by Lola23 from a couple weeks ago about her first meeting:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...a-meeting.html
And I wish you the best! AA has saved countless lives. Let us know how it goes please please please.
Should I get there early?
Absolutely. All who want to stop drinking are welcome at any meeting anywhere anytime. I'd get there a few minutes early to give yourself time to figure out exactly what room the meeting is in, get yourself a coffee if you want one. But if you get there a little late on accident, no big deal either. There are no hall monitors or tardy slips in AA.
How do I know what room to go into?
It's usually pretty obvious as it'll be the room with all the chairs in it and probably the most people mingling around but if it's not obvious then just ask someone. More than likely, someone will notice you're new and ask you. Recovering alcoholics are a friendly, helpful bunch.
Are the meetings in general quite big?
Depends on the meeting. I've been to meetings that had hundreds of people and to ones where it was me and one other person. But I'd say as a general rule, there are 20 to 50 people at the vast majority of meetings in normal sized cities.
How long do the meetings last?
Most meetings are an hour but I've seen 1.5 hour meetings a very few times.
Do I need to take anything with me?
Just an open mind and a desire to stop drinking.
2change has already mentioned this but I wanted to second the idea that if for some reason this meeting doesn't click with you, try a different one. Every single meeting has a different personality, even meetings on different days/times at the same meeting rooms will have differences of some kind. You'll find some that speak to you better than others.
I highly suggest reading this great post by Lola23 from a couple weeks ago about her first meeting:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...a-meeting.html
And I wish you the best! AA has saved countless lives. Let us know how it goes please please please.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Hey guys! Thanks so much for responses. All of them great advice. Very glad I posted on here! �� will let you all know how it goes once I am back. EEK still nervous but I HAVE to do this. Thanks again...hope everyone tonight is as great as you lovely bunch
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Lennox - I was going to respond with my experience and then I saw that Casey was kind enough to post a link to it
I was a nervous wreck for sure. It's normal. And the feeling of "why have I gotten myself in this mess". Yep...that's how I felt. I went into a bathroom stall and bawled for a few mins before the meeting started, thinking...how did it come to this. But you're there. You want recovery. You want change. That is what is important.
I have been to meetings almost every day since my first meeting. It's really been helping. I know everyone has different experiences but I am SOO grateful that I found my way to AA.
Check back in and let us know how it goes.
I was a nervous wreck for sure. It's normal. And the feeling of "why have I gotten myself in this mess". Yep...that's how I felt. I went into a bathroom stall and bawled for a few mins before the meeting started, thinking...how did it come to this. But you're there. You want recovery. You want change. That is what is important.
I have been to meetings almost every day since my first meeting. It's really been helping. I know everyone has different experiences but I am SOO grateful that I found my way to AA.
Check back in and let us know how it goes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Ok update - I can't go. Just saw someone from my work outside waiting to go in and there is no way anyone from my work can know. I'm going to have to find another meeting tomorrow - not this one. Will go to another area. Wow it would never have thought they had an issue. Just shows doesn't it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Originally Posted by CaseyW 
Why is it OK for your co-worker to get help for their alcoholism but not for you to do so?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Thanks Lola...I have found one tomorrow evening a bit further out. Your post was a great help earlier! I will be back to this thread tomorrow night to re read everyone's advice and also to give you all an update :-)
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