searching peace

I am having such a difficult time. It is so easy to look at someone else's situation and see things clearly. But I seem not to be able to be as clear in my own. It has been over a year since stbxah moved out. But I find myself crying all of the time. I wake up in the middle of the night and think of him and the situation and start crying. Everything I do reminds me of what could have been, and when I sleep I dream of him. I cannot control what I dream about. I am just so sad all of the time. This is not what I want. I have friends that are on antidepressants. But I would imagine yall would view that as a crutch and not a good thing to do. So I am asking for input on that and also any helpful things you could tell me for me to try and be able to not be so sad all of the time.

LexieCat

Anti-depressants aren't "happy pills" and they aren't a "crutch." They correct a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes someone to feel depressed. Not all cases of depression, though, are caused by chemical imbalance. Sometimes depression is a product of poor thinking and self-talk, which is better remedied by therapies such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

I would suggest you make an appointment with your doctor or with a therapist and tell him/her how you are feeling, including your history with your ex. Tell them that you are not looking for a "quick fix" but to figure out what is causing this persistent depression and address it in the most effective way.

ladyscribbler

I've used antidepressants in the past and would again if I felt I needed them. I am now able to manage my symptoms with good self care- regular exercise, healthy eating, all that good stuff-practicing mindfulness (meditation) and counseling, but I needed an initial boost to get me out of the rut so I actually had the desire and energy to start taking care of myself.

totfit

This is "romanticizing". There is in every facet of our life an ideal way things could happen, but the ideal is never reached. The real fact is that it could not be, because of the reality of the situation. Romanticizing is the same thing that keeps an addict going back to something extremely harmful looking for that ideal, that one time it was great. It is really difficult to face something, especially when we are looking at the "ideal". If we can force ourselves to look at the reality, then it makes things much more apparent. I am sorry that you are hurting, but time will heal things. The reality is that things for you right now are best. The ideal was not to happen.

searching peace

Thank you all! I appreciate your responses.

Blossom717

I hope you find some peace soon! I have been on anti-depressants since high school, and they aren't a crutch. The way I see it, they help keep me level headed so I can think about my actions and responsibilities clearly, without going into panic mode 24/7. Not that I never do on them, I still have panic attacks and bad days. But if you are clinically depressed it means your brain is lacking that chemical that you need. Also, taking walks and staying active helps as well!

dandylion

Of course, feeling sad...crying (lots).....saying goodbye to what "could have been"......ruminating over the memories......these all show up in the grieving process. However, if you find yourself so stuck in the sadness that you are having trouble with your basic functioning and are feeling actually depressed.....(especially after a full year and feeling like this day in/day out).......it would be time to see someone who is a professional.......

Sometimes, just having a therapist type person "on your side" to talk with, is, in itself a great help. Decisions about medication should be made with them and not by consultation with the general public....LOL!!!
Everybody n this planet has an opinion.....but, you are an individual and you have to live in your own skin. If you need help---I say that it shows a lot of strength and self-esteem to get it.

I have heard it explained this way: Grief is almost unbearable feelings of PAIN
Whereas, depression is more like a lack of feeling--a feeling of "deadness" inside.

Of course, it is possible to be suffering both at the same time.....that is why seeking professional help can be so important....

I am offering this as food for your thought....

dandylion

dandylion

searching peace......one more thought....lol!
One of the best ways of becoming happier, that I know of, is really getting engaged in living your life in a meaningful way....,.....

A 12 step group is a good way to "iron out the wrinkles" that m igh be holding you back...

You got nothing to lose.....

dandylion

firebolt

I got on them to quit smoking, and they have helped change my world for the better. Who'd have thought?! I was SO anti-pill before this... After I told my doc that they were great for quitting, but I feel amazing on them, she said, well many people only need them for 3 - 6 months to kickstart the happy juice in our brains again. So I'm going to go with that~!