Mountainmanbob

"If we were to live sober, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison."
AA Big Book page 66

This quote reminds me of a time in which I was sober just short of three years. I lost my temper and wanted to show someone how mad I really was, so I went down to the store and bought a 6-pack of beer. Well as we can guess, that didn't in the long run work out very well.

Now this time around in sobriety (7 years), I recently lost my temper (not a good thing for ones in recovery to do). But, instead of running to the store I loaded up our travel trailer and went out to the desert so as to be alone for a while. Probably still not the best way in which to deal with matters such as these but, I did attend a few AA meetings while out in the desert and spent time soul searching and studying things that would help me to build my spiritual condition.

My daily sobriety is contingent on my spiritual condition.

MountainmanBob

Boleo

The other day a liquor advertisement caught my attention. It looked kind of silly to me mind you, so I don't think it was a serious threat to my sobriety. But it did occur to me that it had been several months since any audio/visual liquor related scenario had entered my consciousness. I have come to appreciate that now that I am in recovery, I have a measuring stick for Spiritual fitness;

When I have thoughts of drinking or not-drinking - I am skating on thin ice in terms of Spiritual fitness.

When I need to remind myself to not pay attention to liquor scenarios - Thoughts of drinking are on the edge of my radar screen and that indicates that I am only marginally Spiritually fit.

When thoughts of drinking and not drinking don't even enter my stream of consciousness - That is when I am solidly Spiritually fit.

SoberCAH

It sounds like you did very well to me, Bob.

You didn't stay in your anger.

And, hence, you didn't change your sobriety date.

Thanks for sharing this experience.

We all get angry from time to time.

SoberCAH

I know the feeling you describe, Boleo.

If these thoughts arise, all we have to do is find a drunk to work with, keep going to meetings and working the steps.

This is always a good topic with me.

I have been around a while, but I am 1 drink away from being a drunk again, which is a frightening thought.

thomas11

I, for one, envy you. I'd love to be able to pack up and head to the desert or mountains or whatever and just take it all in. I grew up being very active in the outdoors and it brings me immense calm and pleasure. I certainly support the way you handled yourself.

brynn

Well done bob! It's awesome to know our sobriety doesn't hinge on our emotions!

MIRecovery

Staying sober is handling it well. Hind sight is always 20/20. The single biggest challenge I face is living life on life's terms. Maybe you handled it great maybe not but not drinking means you grew in your sobriety and that is pretty darn cool

Mountainmanbob

Oh yes, something that my sponsor taught me early on to keep in check, my emotions. I don't think that I did the best thing by running away for a while but, I needed to be alone so as to work on my equanimity. Keeping the scales balanced between my (our) thinking and my (our) emotions.

Getting better but, at times easier said than done.

Checking the scales -- balanced ??

MountainmanBob

Soberwolf

Good stuff Bob