SoberRunner

Roger, 2Much, and Dee--thank you for the replies. I was just typing "I feel so much better now", but before I could press send I got an email from HR telling me I didn't get the job I was applying for! That was pretty much my dream job, and now I'm crushed.

Today is just getting worse and worse and it's not even 4:00 PM yet. I'm literally crying--and I rarely cry.

Thank you for the replies though.

2muchpain

Very sorry to hear you didn't get that job. That must really hurt. I know that there's probably nothing anybody can say right now that would make you feel any better but I have noticed in my life that when things didn't work out for me, it turned me in a different direction that turned out better that would not have happened if it wasn't for that disappointment. Hope you feel better soon. John

PurpleKnight

There's a certain awkwardness that comes when we know what the right thing or most beneficial thing is to do, which is to not drink, but then we still feel we're missing out or unsettled when we choose not to drink, it's a very unsettling feeling.

I put it down to our addiction still pulling some of the strings, the fact it takes time for our moods/emotions/feelings to adjust naturally and lastly routines/habits can't be broken over night, they need to be formulated and cemented in line with our new journey over time.

Very sorry to hear about the job, but alcohol isn't going to change the decision, simply create a hangover tomorrow morning.

Hang in there!!

Dee74

I'm sorry for your disappointment SoberRunner - missing out on a job is never fun.

There will be other jobs and other opportunities tho...it's our responsibility to make sure we're ready for them

D

airwick

My mother lives near a Michaels! I love it.....

wpainterw

SoberRunner wrote:"Is this normal or am I doing something wrong because I can't stop drinking 100%, forever? I want to not even want 1 or 2 glasses of wine..."

Sounds like your AV is trying to get you in a trap. By projecting far ahead, much too far ahead. All you need to decide is whether you can do complete sobriety (not even a glass or two of wine) one day at a time. One day, and then another day, and another. Forget about "forever". Don't look all the way to the top of the mountain. Look only at your feet, one step at a time. And seek help from other persons in recovery, other travelers on the trail, and medical help when that seems necessary or helpful. It gets easier as you go. Good luck and every good wish.

W.

D122y

Not sure where I just read these posts but..relapses after 2 years...3 years...30 years...omg. God help me. 1 day at a time.

Sober....Good for you on fighting the urge. Thanks all here in SR.

2muchpain

I shopped at Michael's all the time, when I working with little kids on arts and crafts. Brings back fond memories. John

Dee74

There's a lot of long term success stories too - I think it's important to remember that - it's something we all can strive for and achieve

D

wpainterw

Ever thought of teaching art? Joining an art class? Working for an art gallery? Trying out opportunities in commercial art? What about computer art? What about a possible intersection between art and mathematics? Runner art (you're a runner I assume). Sports art. The world out there is waiting for you. Sobriety will be the greatest gift you'll ever give yourself. Go out there and talk to some others with recovery time. Ask them what it's like. Is it worth it? YOU BET IT IS!!! You'll never be bored.

W.

SoberRunner

Thank you guys for the words of encouragement. I'm still bummed but will try to focus on "what's meant to be will be".

Painter, taking an art class would be fun. I definitely couldn't teach art; I'm not that artistic... I wish I was. Combining math (or running) and art sounds fun. I'll look into that. Thanks!

wpainterw

The exercise of running is wonderful except that drinking creates stress for the body and the heart. Recovery should be benefitted by exercise but one should take care for the bod since it's undergoing stress, trying to get itself switched back to a normal state. Easy does it and one day at a time. Good luck.

W.