NikTes

Thanks for asking this question, Serenidad. I've been thinking about the same issue.

Hevyn

Serenidad - I remember feeling sick at heart over the same things. It sometimes led me back to drinking just so I could have some relief. Of course, that was insane.

The memory of those times will dim as you gain some sober time once again. Drinking turned me into someone I don't even know - I tell myself it truly wasn't me. That's why I can't risk ever picking up again - it leads me to danger and chaos every single time. That will never change. Glad you posted Serenidad. Please be kind to yourself.

thomas11

Serenidad, I'll echo what cowboy said, it doesn't really matter HOW you forgive yourself, but it is necessary. Do what you can to make yourself feel better, and #1 is start living a sober productive life, right? The other thing is, that while memories are still fresh, it hurts the most. But like most things in life, time will pass, memories will fade, and most will be forgiven. Its human nature.

Berrybean

The 12 steps are starting to work for me. Had a magical moment today when listening to the promises being read out where I actually believed that there could be a time in the future where I might not wish to shut the door on the past, which I'm putting down to doing my step 5 with my sponsor yesterday

neferkamichael

Serenidad, guilt, shame, remorse and such for me went away with time. You didn't do all those things in a vacuum all by yourself and I'm sure there were plenty of people that helped make a bad situation worse. Make a commitment to never drink again and honor it, rootin for ya.

Serenidad

Thank you all so much for the amazing posts and advice! Every single one of them helped me!!! You guys are awesome!

LBrain

Serenidad, did you use carl's link? Some good stuff there too.