2muchpain

Yeah but, to me hearing stories from people new to sobriety reminds me of how bad it was then. John

2muchpain

Sometimes, I think the person chairing the meeting should have a timer. I've seen some take a lot of the time reading out of AA literature, or feel the need to tell their life story or a lengthy discussion of their current problems. John

hopeful4

We struggled with this issue at Celebrate Recovery also. Honestly, because there were a few people who would simply ramble on about just random things, not about their struggles or recovery. We implemented a 5 min timer in some of the classes and gave a chance to go around again if time permits. As a leader, that person would usually say something like, "If you still need to discuss we can talk after this meeting."

The timer was discreet, not some big ticker in the middle of the table LOL.

Fly N Buy

Good question about timed shares! We've all been to meetings with the world's longest share.....the share the leads to nowhere and the sharathon. Wow, sometimes it's been me......... :

Speaking of shares - I like the movie review share " I loved what John had to say and what Kathy iterated. What Dan said I really thought made little sense though...." I hate that!! I find myself, regardless of who is doing the movie review share - thinking - oh pick me!!! please say you liked what I said!! please!!!! Don't need a big book to know that's a problem......

I have not attended meetings with timers. I have personally and witnessed others when chairing kindly and cordially (as possible ) cut people off.......

In small groups of 10-12 we generally just go around the room. Part of what I have learned as a Chair is to get the meeting starting quickly. The last meeting I did started in less than 15 minutes with readings, announcements and topic. 18 people were able to share including myself in the hour time frame.

I can see where there is value in a timer for sure. We don't want to run off folks cause Bobby Blah Blah never can stop yapping......

Maybe SR should limit the number of characters in a post - Some are way too long. Like this one

MelindaFlowers

Could they have soft music that would start playing after a certain amount of time and slowly build in volume? Like at the Oscars?

Bmac

I think a good idea would be to do something similar to the "please raise your hand if you are willing to be a sponsor". How about "please raise your hand if you are willing to spend time after the meeting talking to someone who needs to talk".

Berrybean

Usually at my home meeting our chair will just say something like, "there are a lot of people here today, so please could everyone bear that in mind and be conscious of the length of their share' and I would hate there to be a timer. Okay, sometimes people go over the 4 mins, but usually because that's the length of preamble it takes for them to focus their minds.

Perhaps todays reflection will be helpful...

27 MARCH
A.A.’s FREEDOMS
We trust that we already know what our several freedoms truly are; that no future generation of AAs will ever feel compelled to limit them. Our AA freedoms create the soil in which genuine love can grow. . . .
— THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 303
I craved freedom. First, freedom to drink; later, freedom from drink. The A.A. program of recovery rests on a foundation of free choice. There are no mandates, laws or commandments. A.A.’s spiritual program, as outlined in the Twelve Steps, and by which I am offered even greater freedoms, is only suggested. I can take it or leave it. Sponsorship is offered, not forced, and I come and go as I will. It is these and other freedoms that allow me to recapture the dignity that was crushed by the burden of drink, and which is so dearly needed to support an enduring sobriety.

(Although at one other meeting I sometimes attend, a timer would be very welcome. Or a buzzer for if they are just using it as a platform for ranting about how much they love their ex and how their ex just can't live a meaningful life without them. Or if they've gratuitously used the f word more than three times in a sentence, - oops, just tripped over my own previously unidentified resentment - better have a look at that one later!!)

SunnyMe

One of my favorite groups has an endless fight over the timer. It's true; we have people who'd gladly ramble on for the full hour if allowed. But not everyone likes the timer. It feels invasive, it feels rude. But some of us only have the hour, stolen from kids and work and life, and can't afford to be there longer.

It's ok. The fight keeps the grumpy occupied and the rest of us amused and/or irritated.

In my home group, the chair or someone (usually me) will find a soft, gentle way to interrupt an interminable share with a "Thanks for sharing. Glad you're here." Very few people get mad. I always try to either find those folks or ask someone to find them after the meeting to see if they've got more they need to get off their chest.

Grungehead

I have yet to attend a meeting with a timer...but I have attended a lot of meetings that could use one.

skg

Scott Redman, now deceased, recommended trap doors in AA... I have a terrific mental image of a few oldtimers dropping out of sight My know-it-all sponsor told me, "Everyone serves as an example--especially in AA."

Now, Integrity time: For everyone who posted, have you ever spoken longer than you should have?

In our group, we ask TWICE: "Once again, we ask that all who participate confine their remarks to their problems as they relate to alcoholism. Please keep comments appropriate to the size of the group, allowing everyone who wishes an opportunity to share." It makes little difference to the guy with 24 years who's having a bad day, or the newcomer who's complaining about their life's predicaments, or the know-it-all A.A. Evangelista who demands what the answer really is...

When I am in fit spiritual condition, "Acceptance is love, and love is God's will for me today." (Daily Reflections, May 29th). When I'm not, I'm restless, irritable, discontent, and judgmental--and I leave the room in silent scorn...

Berrybean

Lol - Now I'm going to be getting the giggles at the 'trap-door' images in my head when the extra-long shares are in full-torrent SKG.

And I'm pretty sure that I've gone over minutes, but I don't know because there's no timer, so now I'm paranoid. Will talk double-fast if I share tonight!!

readerbaby71

I think a timer is an excellent idea. Not to be mean, but I've heard people go on for 15 minutes about the same thing every week. It's irritating and I just tune out, which kind of defeats the purpose of going to a meeting.