SugarScars

Is there a long term heroin and opiate addict (preferably IV) who used for a minimum of 5 years and has also been clean for a minimum of 5 years who can PM me for support?

I am really struggling and scared, and I'm tired of listening to old men who used to drink or kids who shot dope one time trying to tell me how much better it gets. I need to talk to someone who has walked a mile in my shoes, so to speak.

For more deets, I am a successful mid thirties female who has been using and drinking on and off for twelve years, primarily heroin and heavy opiates. I am financially independent and cannot afford to lose my job right now.

Thank you in advance to anybody out there willing to help-

SS

OpioPhobe

Sugar - from everyone that I know of on the forum that is active, Marcus has the most clean time off of opiates. I think he is at 2.5 years. You sound like you are sending an ad for a job...lol! I am not sure you are going to find a 5 and 5, but good luck!

Dee74

I don't fit any of that criteria but hope you find the specific experience and help you're looking for.

Regardless of all that, I can reassure you that it does get better

Are you using now or are you clean?

D

OpioPhobe

Sugar - at one point I did have 1.5 years clean (in late 2013) after a decade of opiate use. By that point in time the withdrawal / PAWS / etc. had all gone away completely. If things had gotten better afterwards that would have been great, but I felt completely normal by then. Actually, it was even earlier (around 9 months) that the PAWS went away. I am not sure if that was what you are trying to get at or not. The misery I put myself in that led to a relapse after all that clean time was do to poor decisions that were completely unrelated to drugs.

Marcus

Opio my ears are ringing. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Yes I had quite a run with Opiates (and alcohol and pot and cocaine and psychedelics). Opiates grabbed me the most by far, but maybe it was because I was such a mess already anyway.

I am closing in on 3 years clean (from all of the above) so don't quite fit the criteria. I did use H IV for 7 years or so (hey that adds up to 10) with MANY MANY attempts at sobriety along the way! I was a pillhead, liquid oxy, and fentanyl man a few years before that. You can PM me if you want or just post on here with where you are at and what stirred you to post tonight. You might get some better feedback that way because I still have a lot to learn too.

I wish I could tell you how to get and stay sober. I can obviously share what worked for me, but many of the things that worked for me this time were the same things I was trying for years and I kept relapsing. This time around it seems my mindset and willingness to get and stay sober finally changed.

It took what it took and dope is no joke. I have no illusions about where a drink or a drug is going to take me today. I used to think I had options / outs. I used up 8 of my 9 lives out there so today there is no room for error when my addiction tries to convince me that I wasn't that bad. I was an absolute out of control mess at the end using massive amounts. Tolerance is a bitch.

Anyway enough about me. What is going on with you? Are you still on suboxone? Are you sliding back into hell? Sure I can tell you everything is going to be okay, but that is not always the case. I couldn't afford to lose my job either, but also couldn't afford the $240 a day I was spending on dope at my worst. Today I am grateful I escaped with my life!