Well here I am. The alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
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Posts: 225
Well here I am. The alcoholic
I posted sometime last week saying it's my 100th day one and blah blah well its my 101. I drank all weekend and finished yesterday. And my girlfriend pretty much said either you clean up or your out of here. So I guess I hit my rock bottom. I don't even know how I keep drinking like this i feel like an idiot my heads always pounding and I just feel foggy I cant think straight . Well I can go about 2 or 3 days with no drinking. After that it's all down hill. Last week I was doing good untill Friday hit and it's like oh boy it's Friday work hard all week I deserve to pound some beers so I ended up getting beer and just drank way to much and my whole Saturday was ruined . And I'm getting worse I can see it slowly but surely. I'm drinking more frequently and staying up later and drinking . Then I wake up looking terrible baggy eyes puffy face and I think nobody notices . I have to get my self ready and my son and then bring him to daycare and go to work . Everybody must know I'm a drunk by my apperence. And I go and don't even care my girlfriend pointed it out the other day she said take a look in the mirror u look terrible how do you keep doing this to yourself.
So it's time to stop I can't keep living like this .
So it's time to stop I can't keep living like this .
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
There is no time like the present to take the action needed to stop drinking. That includes not picking up the first drink so we don’t have to try to get sober AGAIN. To accomplish this we must be honest with ourself about our drinking AND accept the fact we cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row.
At this point we start the work necessary to stay stopped without listening to what our BS AV tries to convince us of. The work involved is often not liked and it’s called CHANGEs, and is a life saver when incorporated in our daily life.
Or we can go the way we’ve been and be miserable for years to come, which may be OK compared to what will probably happen. We have a choice!
BE WELL
At this point we start the work necessary to stay stopped without listening to what our BS AV tries to convince us of. The work involved is often not liked and it’s called CHANGEs, and is a life saver when incorporated in our daily life.
Or we can go the way we’ve been and be miserable for years to come, which may be OK compared to what will probably happen. We have a choice!
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
Welcome to the forums. I know that lots of people have gone through what you're going through around here.. I know I have. Waking up to throbbing headaches, dry heaves, head spinning in the shower, getting ready for work.. eyes bloodshot, tired looking, pale, no appetite, thinking nobody can tell I was drinking last night.. definitely reeking of booze.. yeah, I can never go through that again. To top it off, drinking isn't even fun anymore. No logic whatsoever!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back ForYou. It's a crappy way to live - I lived hung over or drunk for many years of my life too. And then i started having withdrawals every day instead of hangovers. Towards the end I HAD to drink simply to keep my heart rate down and stave off panic attacks.
Have you tried any type of formal recovery when you are not drinking?
Have you tried any type of formal recovery when you are not drinking?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: n/a
Posts: 225
Yea it is terrible and no logic at all every morning I wake up with my hang over I just think to myself why am I doing this why put myself through this all over again then I come up with the plans to be sober and come on here and then I do it all over again . And no I haven't really tried any type of recovery besides on my own . Me and my girlfriend work different hours and he's either at day care or with her parents so I really don't have time and I'm to ashamed to tell her parents the truth because there the type of people that will look down on you or what ever.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
My perspective? I think your girlfriend's parents probably know all about what's going on. Coming clean and admitting it's a problem might not be a bad idea. Pretending all is right when it so clearly isn't is kind of like lying by omission. They would probably rather hear "I have a problem, here is what I'm doing about it."
It sounds like going it alone isn't working. Reach out more here. Look to resources in real life. You have the time to do it, you just don't want to see it. How many hours of days were devoted to drinking? Planning the drinking? Making sure the drink was there and available. Put as much time at least into not drinking. You can do it. You don't have to be caught in a nightmare ground hog's day.
It sounds like going it alone isn't working. Reach out more here. Look to resources in real life. You have the time to do it, you just don't want to see it. How many hours of days were devoted to drinking? Planning the drinking? Making sure the drink was there and available. Put as much time at least into not drinking. You can do it. You don't have to be caught in a nightmare ground hog's day.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
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Originally Posted by foryoumyson 
So I guess I hit my rock bottom.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by foryoumyson
Most likely they probably do know what's going on . Your right I need to put all that time and effort I did into drinking and put it towards not drinking. 
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by foryoumyson
Well I can go about 2 or 3 days with no drinking. After that it's all down hill. Last week I was doing good untill Friday hit and it's like oh boy it's Friday work hard all week I deserve to pound some beers so I ended up getting beer and just drank way to much and my whole Saturday was ruined . And I'm getting worse I can see it slowly but surely. I'm drinking more frequently and staying up later and drinking .
You can do this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: n/a
Posts: 225
The scariest thing so far is I can see a lot of my father in the things that I have been doing lately . The way I treat my girlfriend and stuff like how he treated my mother when I was a kid . He's a full blown alcholic since I was little .
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I stopped looking in the mirror for a few years - one can actually shave in the shower by sense of feel I discovered.
Sometimes we get a window of opportunity - I had a few, but always returned the gift.
Next week I will be at 9 months of continuous sobriety. I had a choice to make......live or die, it was that simple. Few plan on dying from our disease......just ask them.
I had to get to a point of asking for outside help - left to my own brilliant self confidence and brain I would drink, no doubt.
Keep coming back~
Sometimes we get a window of opportunity - I had a few, but always returned the gift.
Next week I will be at 9 months of continuous sobriety. I had a choice to make......live or die, it was that simple. Few plan on dying from our disease......just ask them.
I had to get to a point of asking for outside help - left to my own brilliant self confidence and brain I would drink, no doubt.
Keep coming back~
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: n/a
Posts: 225
Don't really have a plan just yet . But I just got home and have beers left over from last night and on my way home I was thinking about just polishing them off but I decided to pour them down the sink so that's the first step of the plan I reckon.
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