Things a "normie" wouldn't know.... Part 4
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99 
Never forget the first time I heard this term, normie. So annoyed me, as the word separated me from him. Them and us. Normies and addicts.
Is that how you see it now?
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by trailmix
I think that's really interesting. I never took it that way at all -to me that would seem like a holier than thou intent and I never saw this that way.
Is that how you see it now?
Is that how you see it now?
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Join Date: Oct 2023
Posts: 3
Normies don't install safes.
Or maybe they do, but I bet they don't have to replace them with better, stronger, more secure safes.
Normies don't clean up after their spouse at the daughter's wedding.
Or maybe they do, but I bet they don't have to use a shovel to do it.
Or maybe they do, but I bet they don't have to replace them with better, stronger, more secure safes.
Normies don't clean up after their spouse at the daughter's wedding.
Or maybe they do, but I bet they don't have to use a shovel to do it.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,548
I can imagine someone owning a lot of jewelry having a safe installed, Or someone who owns weapons..
Trying to remember, since AH died almost 13 years ago.
Normies can have a variety of hobbies they enjoy with a spouse. Alcoholics will limit their activities to one where alcohol is available.
Normies don't cry driving home from work, because they're more lonely at home than they are at their jobs.
Trying to remember, since AH died almost 13 years ago.
Normies can have a variety of hobbies they enjoy with a spouse. Alcoholics will limit their activities to one where alcohol is available.
Normies don't cry driving home from work, because they're more lonely at home than they are at their jobs.
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Join Date: Oct 2023
Posts: 23
I used to be a normie.
Normies don’t keep a “go bag” packed and hidden for when when the night goes south and you have to leave for a hotel quickly.
Normies don’t know your spouse can be blacked out drunk and still talk.
Normies don’t go to bed scared to death as they listen to their spouse lay in the same bed talking to themselves and rapping the side of the bed.
Normies don’t know if you call the police the police will tell you to stay in one room of the house to not upset the alcoholic. They then leave.
Normies don’t document what was said so when your spouse said it didn’t happen, you know you aren’t crazy. Because you start to believe them.
Normies don’t know more about addiction than the addicted.
Normies don’t know that it’s possible for the abnormal to become a new normal.
Normies don’t know that it’s possible to love and hate the same person.
Normies don’t keep a “go bag” packed and hidden for when when the night goes south and you have to leave for a hotel quickly.
Normies don’t know your spouse can be blacked out drunk and still talk.
Normies don’t go to bed scared to death as they listen to their spouse lay in the same bed talking to themselves and rapping the side of the bed.
Normies don’t know if you call the police the police will tell you to stay in one room of the house to not upset the alcoholic. They then leave.
Normies don’t document what was said so when your spouse said it didn’t happen, you know you aren’t crazy. Because you start to believe them.
Normies don’t know more about addiction than the addicted.
Normies don’t know that it’s possible for the abnormal to become a new normal.
Normies don’t know that it’s possible to love and hate the same person.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
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((((((Ashm))))) The hard part about this thread is it's both reassuring (oh - I am not alone or mistaken about this craziness/chaos in my life - it is not ME!) and it also reveals the often insane, laughable, terrifying, and sorrowful burdens that loved ones of alcoholics carry.
Here are some positive things that normies may or may not know - I like to remember that all the work through AlAnon, reading, coming here to SR, and practicing what I've learned to overcome the damage wrought by alcoholism in my family, is a gift towards my own self-knowledge, personal strength, and enlightenment; a gift that opens me to a deeper level of compassion for my fellow humans.
Normies don't necessarily know that they have a choice in how they react to things going on around them.
Normies don't necessarily know how to maintain boundaries to keep their peace of mind.
Normies don't necessarily know what is and is not on their side of the street.
Normies don't necessarily know how good and empowering it feels when we exercise a new-found tool to help ourselves move our own lives forward.
Normies don't necessarily know the past is gone and they are free in THIS moment.
Normies don't necessarily know what true serenity feels like.
Peace-
B.
Here are some positive things that normies may or may not know - I like to remember that all the work through AlAnon, reading, coming here to SR, and practicing what I've learned to overcome the damage wrought by alcoholism in my family, is a gift towards my own self-knowledge, personal strength, and enlightenment; a gift that opens me to a deeper level of compassion for my fellow humans.
Normies don't necessarily know that they have a choice in how they react to things going on around them.
Normies don't necessarily know how to maintain boundaries to keep their peace of mind.
Normies don't necessarily know what is and is not on their side of the street.
Normies don't necessarily know how good and empowering it feels when we exercise a new-found tool to help ourselves move our own lives forward.
Normies don't necessarily know the past is gone and they are free in THIS moment.
Normies don't necessarily know what true serenity feels like.
Peace-
B.
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Join Date: Oct 2023
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Bernadette
((((((Ashm))))) The hard part about this thread is it's both reassuring (oh - I am not alone or mistaken about this craziness/chaos in my life - it is not ME!) and it also reveals the often insane, laughable, terrifying, and sorrowful burdens that loved ones of alcoholics carry.
Here are some positive things that normies may or may not know - I like to remember that all the work through AlAnon, reading, coming here to SR, and practicing what I've learned to overcome the damage wrought by alcoholism in my family, is a gift towards my own self-knowledge, personal strength, and enlightenment; a gift that opens me to a deeper level of compassion for my fellow humans.
Normies don't necessarily know that they have a choice in how they react to things going on around them.
Normies don't necessarily know how to maintain boundaries to keep their peace of mind.
Normies don't necessarily know what is and is not on their side of the street.
Normies don't necessarily know how good and empowering it feels when we exercise a new-found tool to help ourselves move our own lives forward.
Normies don't necessarily know the past is gone and they are free in THIS moment.
Normies don't necessarily know what true serenity feels like.
Peace-
B.
Here are some positive things that normies may or may not know - I like to remember that all the work through AlAnon, reading, coming here to SR, and practicing what I've learned to overcome the damage wrought by alcoholism in my family, is a gift towards my own self-knowledge, personal strength, and enlightenment; a gift that opens me to a deeper level of compassion for my fellow humans.
Normies don't necessarily know that they have a choice in how they react to things going on around them.
Normies don't necessarily know how to maintain boundaries to keep their peace of mind.
Normies don't necessarily know what is and is not on their side of the street.
Normies don't necessarily know how good and empowering it feels when we exercise a new-found tool to help ourselves move our own lives forward.
Normies don't necessarily know the past is gone and they are free in THIS moment.
Normies don't necessarily know what true serenity feels like.
Peace-
B.
I’ll have to come back and catch up reading when I have more time.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by LoveMyAHusband
Ah, is this why my house has a safe? ☺️
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Refiner
my spouse and I have a safe a person can fit into and it holds our valuables including important documents in case of a house fire. That’s a very wide brush you’re painting with your assumptions.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,901
Quote from part 3: “Normies don't obsess over a simple thing like "I'll be right back"....we know what that means, don't we?!”
*Flashback*
Normies don’t plan an early evening w/ their bf driving….when he has to stop at the pub first, saying “I’ll be right back” as he exits the car, fall asleep while waiting and bf decides to stay at the bar and drink with friends while their gf slept in the car for 3 hours in a dark downtown parking lot.
*Flashback*
Normies don’t plan an early evening w/ their bf driving….when he has to stop at the pub first, saying “I’ll be right back” as he exits the car, fall asleep while waiting and bf decides to stay at the bar and drink with friends while their gf slept in the car for 3 hours in a dark downtown parking lot.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Normies don’t come across videos of couples where the husband is helping the wife with her IVF injections and think, “must be nice to be in a relationship where both partners work together as a team, no name-calling, no blame shifting, no yelling or screaming and no hiding of drugs or alcohol anywhere. I’d rather have a faulty uterus than a faulty people picker for relationships.” Yes I have felt jealous of couples struggling with trying to conceive. I consider it a side effect of my dysfunctional origins. I don’t have children nor do I know how fertile or infertile I am, but through my history of toxic relationships I have in the past thought “if I really am infertile that would be a blessing for me.” When your relationships are so toxic they never even make it to the realm of considering having children.
And before you go to “but you picked him!” That’s not how it works. It’s so insidious you don’t even realize what’s happening until you’re in way over your head.
And before you go to “but you picked him!” That’s not how it works. It’s so insidious you don’t even realize what’s happening until you’re in way over your head.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,548
Well, I'll admit "I picked him!" As to how insidious it is - I thought to myself, "He doesn't drink any more than Dad."
Sadly, late AH surpassed Dad in his progress. He had two DUIs before he was 50 years old. Remarkably, he managed to get those two just slightly more than ten years apart, thus avoiding a much more serious legal consequence.
Sadly, late AH surpassed Dad in his progress. He had two DUIs before he was 50 years old. Remarkably, he managed to get those two just slightly more than ten years apart, thus avoiding a much more serious legal consequence.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,548
I remember at one point, being soooo sad and depressed, and finally admitting to my AH, I'm having thoughts of suicide. Only to have him turn it around to be all about him and how he was depressed.
I suppose he was. The whole point of an admission like the one I had is not so the listener can one-up you with his/her problems.
I suppose he was. The whole point of an admission like the one I had is not so the listener can one-up you with his/her problems.
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