my conclusion so far ?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
my conclusion so far ?
So I’m going in to my 17 week sober and I can honestly say things are getting better I have discovering a whole new world and living life as what I seen in the past from others to be normal.
I never thought I had a problem with alcohol but recently I have started to think otherwise? I never really understood what the term alcoholic meant in my eyes I liked a drink after work, after a hard day and on weekends but in the last year I was not really enjoying it I was drinking out of boredom and when I got stressed by life or work.
What has made me think otherwise is that I had a conversation with my wife who has always seen me to be a heavy drinker but not to have had a problem even though she would confront me with issues in regards to nights I would drink. She asked me if I was feeling better I told her that I was feeling better the anxiety and depression has improved and I was feeling strong .Then she asked if I would have a few drinks when I truly felt better??? That’s when it hit me right there in that moment.
I then understood for the first time that I had never just had the one drink never appreciated just one or two I had drank to get drunk.
My feelings went in to overdrive and I was feeling anxious and aware that again alcohol even in a conversation had made me feel bad the very thought of drinking made me scared.
So my conclusion is I never had control of my drinking I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and now I am adjusting to a sober life the feelings I get are an emotional scar that alcohol has left me with to the point that even a thought can trigger a defence in my head that says (No Stop is it worth wasting all your hard work? )
Life has tested me and I will make it if I can do it so can others I have read a lot of story’s and posts on (SR) and always wonders when would I be able to share some good positive thoughts and now I have.
It is hard and it will continue to be but that is life and being sober has made me deal with my issues head on and I am getting better each day.
To all other member on (SR) well done and keep up the good work.
I never thought I had a problem with alcohol but recently I have started to think otherwise? I never really understood what the term alcoholic meant in my eyes I liked a drink after work, after a hard day and on weekends but in the last year I was not really enjoying it I was drinking out of boredom and when I got stressed by life or work.
What has made me think otherwise is that I had a conversation with my wife who has always seen me to be a heavy drinker but not to have had a problem even though she would confront me with issues in regards to nights I would drink. She asked me if I was feeling better I told her that I was feeling better the anxiety and depression has improved and I was feeling strong .Then she asked if I would have a few drinks when I truly felt better??? That’s when it hit me right there in that moment.
I then understood for the first time that I had never just had the one drink never appreciated just one or two I had drank to get drunk.
My feelings went in to overdrive and I was feeling anxious and aware that again alcohol even in a conversation had made me feel bad the very thought of drinking made me scared.
So my conclusion is I never had control of my drinking I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and now I am adjusting to a sober life the feelings I get are an emotional scar that alcohol has left me with to the point that even a thought can trigger a defence in my head that says (No Stop is it worth wasting all your hard work? )
Life has tested me and I will make it if I can do it so can others I have read a lot of story’s and posts on (SR) and always wonders when would I be able to share some good positive thoughts and now I have.
It is hard and it will continue to be but that is life and being sober has made me deal with my issues head on and I am getting better each day.
To all other member on (SR) well done and keep up the good work.
Great read! I love that post....Great job on 17 weeks! It is tough , but we keep rollin with it..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Kentuckiana
Posts: 15
THANK GOD, IT GETS BETTER.
Sometimes I think that I am getting to the place that you just described. I'll have this moment of fierce hope that convinces me that I can enjoy a sober life, possibly, even more than a doped up one. These are mere flashes though, they don't last very long, and then they are gone for the rest of the day. But it's crazy, because I used to not even think that was possible.
Your post gives me hope that maybe it is. Thanks.
Sometimes I think that I am getting to the place that you just described. I'll have this moment of fierce hope that convinces me that I can enjoy a sober life, possibly, even more than a doped up one. These are mere flashes though, they don't last very long, and then they are gone for the rest of the day. But it's crazy, because I used to not even think that was possible.
Your post gives me hope that maybe it is. Thanks.
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