Thinking back
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 48
Thinking back
2 1days tomorrow I am sitting here on my day of having a coffee and thinking back to when I was first married.My wifes father was an alcoholic and I always remember looking down my nose at him because he couldent control his drinking he would sit in front of the tv drink in hand and my wife couldent stand it.Fast forward 38 years and I became the same man I never realy understood what the poor soul was going through I wish now I did I certainly would not be looking down on him I have a totally different view point of this disease.it is insidious it creeps up on you before you know it.I am only 21 days and sorting things out in my mind I feel like somebody different(weird),Drinking daily for years made me lose my real identity.Sorry if I ramble a bit but I feel its helpful to share here thanks to all of you for your support although I have never met you this is one of the places where people know this disease and I can relate to folk here......
Until It Sleeps
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: AL
Posts: 215
Originally Posted by MyShadow 
I can relate completely. Same thing with my father in law. Now 20yrs later, that looking down on others often times is, us seeing ourselves in others. Funny how that works. awesome post.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I find it fascinating how things in life are cylical. It seems that the lessons we're presented with earlier in life always circle back around if we didn't "get it" the first time. I can think back to many people, and many situations I judged or looked down on before I'd had enough experience in life to appreciate how hard it can be for some.
I think it's great that you're examining long held beliefs, judgements, and opinions
I think it's great that you're examining long held beliefs, judgements, and opinions
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Originally Posted by SoberJennie
I find it fascinating how things in life are cylical. It seems that the lessons we're presented with earlier in life always circle back around if we didn't "get it" the first time. I can think back to many people, and many situations I judged or looked down on before I'd had enough experience in life to appreciate how hard it can be for some.
I think it's great that you're examining long held beliefs, judgements, and opinions
I think it's great that you're examining long held beliefs, judgements, and opinions
Congrats on 21 days, grampa.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Well done :-). I never had personal experience with addiction before my own but I'm a mental health nurse and always found it hard to understand drug and alcohol addictions. Used to think why don't they just stop, can't be that hard! Wow I learnt the hard way and I agree I have a lot more understanding now and will never judge anyone else who is struggling with any sort of dependency again xx
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
A touching post, grampa.
We look down on that which we fear because it's much less threatening to experience disgust than it is to experience terror. And then, by virtue of our own repulsion, we learn nothing, and we eventually become (or, perhaps, only realize within ourselves) the despair that we feared. Though not for everyone and not on all occasions, this is a turning point in life, a time after which we no longer feel confident in our fragile superiority to get us through, to sustain us, shaking us to the core, and allowing for love, care and concern to breathe and to assert themselves.
Equally profound is that we ever learn to be more patient, more gentle, more forgiving with ourselves. Other than continuous though seemingly small (even hidden) acts of courage (which may themselves amount to the same thing), there is no other alternative that allows us to become who we truly are, or to nourish others with our being.
Had I only been courageous enough as a younger man to act on what I heard when I was told to let experience be my guide.
We look down on that which we fear because it's much less threatening to experience disgust than it is to experience terror. And then, by virtue of our own repulsion, we learn nothing, and we eventually become (or, perhaps, only realize within ourselves) the despair that we feared. Though not for everyone and not on all occasions, this is a turning point in life, a time after which we no longer feel confident in our fragile superiority to get us through, to sustain us, shaking us to the core, and allowing for love, care and concern to breathe and to assert themselves.
Equally profound is that we ever learn to be more patient, more gentle, more forgiving with ourselves. Other than continuous though seemingly small (even hidden) acts of courage (which may themselves amount to the same thing), there is no other alternative that allows us to become who we truly are, or to nourish others with our being.
Had I only been courageous enough as a younger man to act on what I heard when I was told to let experience be my guide.
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