He denied it.

Old 12-20-2014, 08:13 PM
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He denied it.

My exA sent me yet another text at 3:45 AM. It just said: "Hey".
And today's evening he sent me another one: "sorry, this is weird. I can't remember sending you the other message in the first place".


This makes me anxious, but I said nothing. Why would he even keep my number in his phone?


This is so hard....
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Old 12-20-2014, 08:18 PM
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If he is your exA, is there a reason that you haven't blocked his texts since this causes you to be anxious?
I'm sorry he is bothering you and hope you find a way to remedy it.
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Old 12-20-2014, 09:41 PM
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Oh Time to heal,

I've been meaning to ask you is this photo your Corgi?

Because I like dogs much more than XABFs. One of my rescue dogs is possibly part corgi. She is a hoot. Be well.
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Old 12-20-2014, 09:54 PM
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There's always a part of us that wants to cling to the past, but it's much healthier to make a clean break. Block him.
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Old 12-20-2014, 10:19 PM
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Blackout drunk. Who cares? There is no rhyme or reason. Rejoice in the fact that you have no permanent ties to him and take care of yourself and your lovely dog.
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Old 12-20-2014, 10:28 PM
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Thank you. All of you here are so honest, without having to be mean... And that is very valuable to me. I blocked his number. The only thing that should matter now is the fact that I'm free.


It is not my dog btw but I really love corgis, they're absolutely lovely!
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Old 12-20-2014, 10:34 PM
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Don't worry about the "shoulds" hon. You have a right to be upset. I know it hurt me a lot when I realized that all the stuff I used to agonize over literally meant nothing to him because he couldn't remember any of it. Like it never happened.
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Old 12-20-2014, 10:36 PM
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Hi there,

Nice pic of dog, I also have a pic of a dog that isn't mine. I just love dogs, but happen to have 4 cats instead. (lol)

I am guessing that you are quite young. Perhaps very early 20's. Correct me if I am wrong, because I did read the post about your mother.

Those kind of text or emails are really just a baiting and fishing expedition. They try to get your attention, they wait for you to respond, when you don't they childishly say they don't know how that text even got sent out. Denial and gaslighting.

You were right to not respond. And oh, btw, welcome to our family.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
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Old 12-20-2014, 10:38 PM
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ladyscribbler, I think that's the hardest part for the partner right there.
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Old 12-20-2014, 10:45 PM
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Originally Posted by amy55 View Post
Hi there,

Nice pic of dog, I also have a pic of a dog that isn't mine. I just love dogs, but happen to have 4 cats instead. (lol)

I am guessing that you are quite young. Perhaps very early 20's. Correct me if I am wrong, because I did read the post about your mother.

Those kind of text or emails are really just a baiting and fishing expedition. They try to get your attention, they wait for you to respond, when you don't they childishly say they don't know how that text even got sent out. Denial and gaslighting.

You were right to not respond. And oh, btw, welcome to our family.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
Lol, I love cats but I don't have any pets nowadays...

Yes, actually... Today is my birthday number 21. We have been broken up for 7 months I think, I can't and don't want to remember the exact date.

I dunno if he did it on purpose or not but it was indeed annoying and even a little hurtful....

Thank you
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Old 12-20-2014, 10:53 PM
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Well, happy birthday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, he is acting like a child so that he can try to manipulate you. Don't ever fall for that. I have read your previous posts, and you are very mature and so much world wise and people wise then I was at your age.

I am sorry for all the things that you are going thru, but you have a really good head on your shoulders. You are questioning things now, not like what I did.

Please do not respond to him, he is waiting for that.

Again, happy birthday

((((((((hugs))))))))
amy
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Old 12-20-2014, 11:16 PM
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I wish I'd had even a shred of the wisdom you have now. Back in my day, I thought alcoholics were the bee's knees and you could change them into a good boyfriend just by wishing real hard and fixing everything.
Ugh.
Anyway,
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Old 12-20-2014, 11:16 PM
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I want you to know that I am not usually this is the facts, mam, type person. It's getting late, and I am going to go to sleep soon. I do understand the hurt and the rejection that you are feeling. Sometimes when you are going thru this you need the validation and hugs also, well (((((((((hugs)))))))))))) and I do truly mean that. You are a terrific person. You have gone thru so much already and you didn't have anyone to lean on, or to validate any of your feelings.

You know what I learned, your feelings really do matter, it's an inner thing that you have that helps you to protect yourself.

You matter to me. I care about you.

I don't know what time zone you are in, but in mine it is after 2 am, if you are in the same, just try to get some sleep and know that you found a place where you are accepted and loved.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
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Old 12-21-2014, 12:34 AM
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Originally Posted by ladyscribbler View Post


I wish I'd had even a shred of the wisdom you have now. Back in my day, I thought alcoholics were the bee's knees and you could change them into a good boyfriend just by wishing real hard and fixing everything.
Ugh.
Anyway,
It took me another six years to even get a whiff of what you've already learned. Happy birthday, and may this year bring you peace and happiness.
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Old 12-21-2014, 01:47 AM
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Have a happy birthday--free of bad ex-habits!!
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Old 12-21-2014, 10:50 AM
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Originally Posted by amy55 View Post
I want you to know that I am not usually this is the facts, mam, type person. It's getting late, and I am going to go to sleep soon. I do understand the hurt and the rejection that you are feeling. Sometimes when you are going thru this you need the validation and hugs also, well (((((((((hugs)))))))))))) and I do truly mean that. You are a terrific person. You have gone thru so much already and you didn't have anyone to lean on, or to validate any of your feelings.

You know what I learned, your feelings really do matter, it's an inner thing that you have that helps you to protect yourself.

You matter to me. I care about you.

I don't know what time zone you are in, but in mine it is after 2 am, if you are in the same, just try to get some sleep and know that you found a place where you are accepted and loved.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy


Actually, I fell asleep.... sorry, hehe, it was late indeed.
Thank you amy55, and thanks for the hugs too.
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Old 12-21-2014, 10:55 AM
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Thanks everybody, I hope everyone here has a great new year too. Hugs for all!

This can/must/will be a year of progression.... Thank you.





Oh. And a good friend of mine told me that he saw my ex yesterday in a party. He was drunk and he was kissing with another girl in front of his other ex.... Thanks god my friend saw this and told me.
I've got no reason to feel bad since he is doing very strange and immature stuff, he isn't changing at all, he is just getting worse.
I want real love and respect, not something like this.
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Old 12-21-2014, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Timetoheal12 View Post
Thanks everybody, I hope everyone here has a great new year too. Hugs for all!

This can/must/will be a year of progression.... Thank you.





Oh. And a good friend of mine told me that he saw my ex yesterday in a party. He was drunk and he was kissing with another girl in front of his other ex.... Thanks god my friend saw this and told me.
I've got no reason to feel bad since he is doing very strange and immature stuff, he isn't changing at all, he is just getting worse.
I want real love and respect, not something like this.

You are going to be OK, stick with us. We really do care about you here.

You deserve real love and respect, I think you are the best.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy
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Old 12-22-2014, 04:33 PM
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Today I just feel so angry.
I blocked him because I know that's the best thing to do, but this annoys me.
There was a time he called like 6 times to my home. He also denied he did it.
Maybe because he was drunk and couldn't remember... Or maybe because he wanted to control me.

I feel like "oh, he will never find anyone you". Still, I wonder if he ever valued me as I was, or loved me. I want to be over this but there are days that are harder to do it.


It makes me mad to think how, after every time he insulted me, told me he loved me- then he didn't loved me, and sending something and saying that he couldn't remember.... Oh go, I am sorry, but it really gets me.
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