ostrichess

today we were supposed to be spending the day together, or thats how he planned it the other day before the footy plans arose with his mates from the pub where he works, so he went to visit family this morning, stopped at home for 5 minutes before going out to the pub for the footy, but then called me to say the pub wasnt showing the right game and did i want to meet him at the pub (NO I DONT!!!!!)
Work then called me and told me i was supposed to be in today and i had missed seeing a shift on the rota (care home) and could i come in...i made a lame excuse saying we have family over cos i am still in my pjs in bed with tears streaming down my face because i am in a really bad place right now, but i have to do it or it will get passed to the manager who will give me **** and my job maybe in jeopardy, so i have agreed to work it altho i am going in late.

Do you all want to know the funny truth though??
I would rather be at work than here with him coming home drunk from the pub or expecting me to go out with him and sit there watching him pour what little cash we have got left down the toilet (literally)

Severe depression, emotional nightmare and no one to turn to except you all.

That is my dilemma.

Right, i am off to work!!!!

waggin

You are definitely not alone. Don't let his issues take apart your career and your sanity. Thinking of you today.
-Waggin

Redheadsusie

Sending hugs- You are not alone. Try to focus on the task at hand- take a hour at a time if you have to. You can do this- You are an amazing person! You don't deserve to be treated like that!

ostrichess

well, i got home an hour ago (9.50pm uk time)to find him tucked up in bed passed out, fully dressed snoring his head off, so i got my lappy and am now in the lounge chatting here! This site was my first click, i can feel the love and support from everyone i finally feel i am not alone as much as i felt this morning...have confided in a friend at work about all of this too... i finally had the strength to tell someone about it.
Go me!!!!
Thanks so much to you all...and whoever created this site.
xxx
Much love

dandylion

ostrichess....I am sorry to hear that you feel depressed. That is an awful way to feel....and, you shouldn't have to live under these conditions.

Even if it doesn't seem like it to you, right now...you do have options.
Also, depession is very treatable.....

You can get through this and take your power back. Life is to be enjoyed and love is supposed to make your life richer...

You CAN get through this.

dandylion

Bullfrog

I do not miss the drunken snoring one bit!

KidsR#1

I remember the feeling of finally letting someone know what was going on with my AH. You know what, a lot of people already knew something was off and having them to talk to and SR helped me so much during those early days!

Focus on taking care of you. Sending you lots of hugs and strength.

DavinaD

Oh the drunken snoring! :-( Yes can't say I miss that either. It is awful being in a relationship with someone where you can never be their number one priority- the drink will always come first! But try not to take it personally. You shouldn't have to put up with it though :-(

ostrichess

just needed to quickly touch base,i'm okay just been working snd had a sober day yesterday with him was brill xx had to grab some strength, thabkyou all can feel it xx hugs xx

NYCDoglvr

A big hug, you're not alone. God bless.....