Notices

Fear of Failure! Fear of Relapse!

Old 12-19-2014, 03:56 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Alchemist1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: East Coast U.S.
Posts: 153
Fear of Failure! Fear of Relapse!

Good Day Everyone,

I went to 2 meetings today but I have a Question for the SR Community.

Must all us Alcoholics, live in Fear of the next Relapse for the rest of our lives.

I am just struggling accepting this because of the events that occurred to me last week.

I feel so afraid. Is it something I just have to accept even though everyone keeps saying you never have to feel like that again.

Thank you for everything SR and the good people here.
Alchemist1978 is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:05 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Fear is not good. I think vigilance is healthier.
Thepatman is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:06 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
hi MS
I think fear is pretty common in the early days but you'll soon learn that if you want to stay sober, there's no power on earth that can compel you to take that next drink if you don't want to

It may be a little hard to believe that right now, but give yourself a little time - your belief in yourself will grow I promise.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:06 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I have no fear of the next - first - relapse. It's totally out of the question for me.

Think positive.
LBrain is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:09 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
I have rational fears today. Sober and moving forward!
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:23 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Alchemist1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: East Coast U.S.
Posts: 153
Originally Posted by Thepatman View Post
Fear is not good. I think vigilance is healthier.
Thanks Patman! I am just so afraid of what I have become and sometimes I feel as Fear is a great motivator. Accepting everything the way it is and becoming vigilant in this quest is a better path.
Alchemist1978 is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:24 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Alchemist1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: East Coast U.S.
Posts: 153
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
hi MS
I think fear is pretty common in the early days but you'll soon learn that if you want to stay sober, there's no power on earth that can compel you to take that next drink if you don't want to

It may be a little hard to believe that right now, but give yourself a little time - your belief in yourself will grow I promise.

D
Thank you Dee for the encouragement!
Alchemist1978 is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:32 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
melki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
No Fear! No Relapse!

It will get easier as you build up your sober muscle by getting through more days and situations sober.
melki is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:37 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I havnt relapsed since i got sober this is the first time ive ever got to a month sober and here i am at 17 months

I too was seriously scared ppl were dropping like flies around me and i put it to this forum

The best reply i got by far and its gonna stay with me was

Relapse is part of my addiction Relapse is not part of my recovery

For me that was astounding made a ton of sense in any way you look at that sentence

what i took from it was that im in recovery & relapse simply isnt part of that

I cant tell you how much that calmed me down

Relapse is never inevitable
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:39 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
melki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
I agree. Relapse is not inevitable. You always have a choice.
melki is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:40 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Originally Posted by ms980619 View Post
Thanks Patman! I am just so afraid of what I have become and sometimes I feel as Fear is a great motivator. Accepting everything the way it is and becoming vigilant in this quest is a better path.
I'll let someone wiser than me explain why fear is not good..
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kFnFr-DOPf8
Thepatman is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 04:41 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
strategery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Ms-I think it's natural to fear relapsing when first starting out since you're venturing into new territory.
Have you made any plans as to what you're going to do when you have cravings? If you haven't, start making plans now (go on a walk, go to the movie, etc).
As everyone has mentioned, it does get easier the more sober time you get.
strategery is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 05:01 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Stay Strong and Motivated
 
jayman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 78
I'll be very honest and say that the "fear" is definitely there. I've actually thought forward a year, two, etc and I get this sinking feeling in my gut. Am I gonna do it again in a couple weeks? Can I really do this? How can I live the life I want when I see it all over TV, internet, stores, hell I can't even watch a football game without seeing beer commercials. And truthfully, what those guys with the snacks and the beer, watching the game and cheering looks fun. But I know I can't do that anymore and I just have to accept that.

My ma, who's been through a lot in the last few years, told me the other day, "Sweetie, just take it one day at a time. If you fall, you pick yourself up and keep moving forward." I believe I'm in the right mindset, and I have to just take it one day at a time and not think about the future when it comes to my addiction. Goals, aspirations, positive things yes, but not my alcoholism. As patman said above, vigilance and focus on the positives of recovery, not the negatives is what I believe is important.

I really don't know if this is the right way to look at it, but I feel right now that it is the way for me.
jayman is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 05:08 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I'm with LBrain and SWolfy. Relapse is not inevitable, and it's not mandatory. This is my first try and I'm serious. I know that I'm never drinking today, or again. I do say never and I believe it in my heart. At times it's hard but then is when you use all the tools that you have learned here. You have to be proactive you can't just expect things to happen and fall on your lap, you have to do the work. The plan can vary, it just has to be whatever works for you.

Don't be fearful or intimidated. It will bring you down or set you up for disaster.
Nowsthetime is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 05:23 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Just want to say that I relate to your fear. I am only 12 days in after a relapse (after 5 & 1/2 years of sobriety). Sometimes I feel like I am gonna get "struck drunk". Like a lightning bolt is gonna come out of the sky and hit me and I am gonna be drunk or someone has a voo-dew doll...

Anyway...why did I drink again after 5 & 1/2 years??? (and I really believed I would NEVER drink again). I forgot what I was. I forgot that I was an alcoholic. I stopped logging on to SR. I stopped going to AA. I stopped doing ANYTHING recovery-wise. I thought I was cured.

I will never make that mistake again! So..if you never forget that you are an alcoholic and keep doing what you are doing now to stay sober...you will be fine. We have really good "forgetters". At least I do.

You'll be ok. Just keep telling on your disease. The more time you get...the less fear you will have as long as you stay in the middle of the pack.

When animals are migrating...the animals in the MIDDLE of the pack (i.e. AA/SR/recovery) are the safest. It's the animals on the outside edges of the pack that get picked off by prey (i.e. our disease/relapse/AV).

Stay in the MIDDLE OF THE PACK!
Serenidad is offline  
Old 12-19-2014, 07:21 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
bunnezjp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
Don't fear Relapse. Own your Sobriety.

Bunnez
bunnezjp is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:34 AM.