Dharmabum2012

Hi All, I had a strange night. I met up with my "drinking" buddies who I told before we met whats been going on. It went well we watched a movie and drank ROOTbeer and chicken wings. I ended up in a few pubs picking them up, I just had water. It was strange being in a place not being *********. My friends were good about it and didn't nag me to drink or anything. I told them I HAVE to abstain from any alcohol. One of my friends stated he thinks thats a great idea but he mentioned that it shouldn't be forever. I didn't mention that I am going for complete abstinence as I have quit before and bounced right back into my binges. I feel like I am going to miss out on alot of things such as parties and concerts and such, it's a strange feeling almost like I have to reinvent myself. I am good friends with these guys regardless of alcohol and I am sad that things may never be the same

Gilmer

You've got a very good and realistic attitude. Some things will definitely need to change if you're serious about staying sober--but making the right activity choices becomes more and more natural as time goes on.

Once you are solid in your sobriety, you may find that you can enjoy concerts and such without feeling the need to be drunk or high. Maybe not. You will work hard at establishing your new, true identity, and you may find that your former likes and dislikes change. If not, then you will learn to enjoy them sober because you'll want to.

MythOfSisyphus

It's a wistful and melancholy feeling to know things will never be the same. But eventually you'll be really glad they won't be the same. Right now those 'good times' are still flushed with the rosy tint. With a little distance you'll see those times for what they really were, mixed-to-bad. How much time do think a butterfly spends wishing it were still a caterpillar?

JanieJ

Brilliant line, Myth


Yeah, I'm getting that "are you still abstaining, JanieJ ? would you just like a shandy, just one small glass, huh? When are you gonna start again, surely it's not forever ?"

The damage I've done over the years is enough for me to know that booze just isn't an option, and I have to accept that whatever it brings.

I'm a musician, I gig in pubs and clubs, festivals, events, etc. That's fine, I can do that sober. But I can longer sit in the pub all night with a lemonade, it's boring. And yes, there's a sadness there, for the old times.

The things about humans is that we do eventually adapt to new circumstances. Your mates will get used to it and you might even get some of them thinking. Give yourself time, you'll find a new you one way or another.

Did you see the link Serenidad posted about the alcohol documentary ? It might make you feel better about your resolve not to drink if you watch it. Not easy watching, be warned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwv7...ature=youtu.be

Dharmabum2012

Thanks Janie how long did it take you to adapt to being alcohol free in places where you previously were?

Soberwolf

Dharma just focus on you for now dont overthink a future we do not know

lets build some sober muscles

your doing really well btw

ScottFromWI

That's a very loaded question. I found that I was able to physically go many of the places I used to go, but mentally I found that there is nothing for me there anymore. Some of my friends ended up really just being drinking buddies. Everything we did and everywhere we went was exclusively for the purpose of drinking. I don't drink now so there is no reason for me to associate with them or those places.

Lance40

Re-inventing yourself is not always easy. I love dance music and spent nearly 20 years in the rave & underground dance music scene. I can't lie - some of the greatest memories I have are of blissed out nights dancing under the stars in the euphoric embrace of Ecstasy. In later years all the joy and fun left and I was left chasing an illusion that I sometimes still long for, but the memories that pull at me are those earlier years. I was a music collector and spent thousands on rare or hard to find originals. I have hundreds of albums that sit in my living room that I can't touch because no matter how long ago the drug use stopped, as soon as I put on the music and the music starts I get pulled back into the wonder. And that nostalgic wonder makes me want to drink, and then I know that when I've had enough to drink that I'll want to find drugs and there's only one place that can end up: drunk & high in the corner of some darkened room grinding my teeth and feeling like crap as I desperately try to regain the magic and knowing that the next week will be hell to pay. What I have to keep in mind is what's real - what I'm chasing is the illusion of the past and not recognizing the reality of how it really ended up.