Even sober I'm a bad mom
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hi brair - I often feel like you, I'm on day 8 and I swear I had more patience with my kids (4 and 20 months) when I was drinking - mainly as I felt guilty for being drunk. I often feel overwhelmed and by 6pm want to reward myself with wine for making it through the day with them. I've always worked and I'm currently a stay at home mum with our youngest who is great but my word he's so busy / naughty. I also feel bad that I'm bored of being at home with him - other mums seem to revel in this day to day monotony but I just feel trapped.
Still I'm on day 8 and trying my best and I guess that's all we can do. They'll appreciate me not being a drunken mess later on in life and I would hate to set the example that mummy crying n screaming for no reason is perfectly acceptable. I need to do this now before they have lasting memories and although I can't bake a cake to save my life I make a mean toasted sandwich / fish fingers
Good luck to you - you're not alone
xx
Still I'm on day 8 and trying my best and I guess that's all we can do. They'll appreciate me not being a drunken mess later on in life and I would hate to set the example that mummy crying n screaming for no reason is perfectly acceptable. I need to do this now before they have lasting memories and although I can't bake a cake to save my life I make a mean toasted sandwich / fish fingers
Good luck to you - you're not alone
xx
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Originally Posted by Briar 
Even sober I’m short with my daughter. I just want to be left alone, and she wants me to hold her and play with her constantly. She’s three, so I know this is completely normal. I try to be available and give her attention, but I can’t keep up with her demands, and I don’t really want anyone to talk to me or touch me. Sometimes she talks to me and I just shut down, won’t respond to her at all, because it’s overwhelming. I feel like a terrible mom. I know this isn’t good for her, and I think she’s becoming more defiant to seek attention. This shouldn’t be so hard. Was it better when I was drinking? Am I just more aware of it now? I don't know. Not very pleased with myself. 
L x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
hi Briar, I also have a three year old. He is super energetic and must get told off 200 times per day. He cannot sit still, resist the urge to poke and prod everything and requires constant attention and stimulation. He starts at 7am and goes hard at it all day until he collapses at 9.30pm. Everyday. He is also super cute, kind and caring. Its just how they are at that age and in many respects is good to see. Do you really want a three year old that sits quietly in the corner all day?
I would say that I was and am more patient to him than my wife is and she doesn't drink. I don't see that drink really comes into it in that respect but I do know that my son certainly prefers me to love him when I can and that happens more when I don't drink. I would be willing to bet that you are doing just fine and also that you are a much better Mum when you are sober relative to when you are drinking. You are on the right track so try to enjoy those really cute moments that 3 year olds can condure up and try to take a deep breathe when they become a little overbearing because we all feel those.
I would say that I was and am more patient to him than my wife is and she doesn't drink. I don't see that drink really comes into it in that respect but I do know that my son certainly prefers me to love him when I can and that happens more when I don't drink. I would be willing to bet that you are doing just fine and also that you are a much better Mum when you are sober relative to when you are drinking. You are on the right track so try to enjoy those really cute moments that 3 year olds can condure up and try to take a deep breathe when they become a little overbearing because we all feel those.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
4 kids at our house. 3,5,7 & 10.
It's definitely hard work.
Glad I have the AA program in place, I'm a miserable sober Dad without that.
Just being sober, wasn't enough. I wasn't one of the "I quit drinking and I've never been so happy " folks.
It's definitely hard work.
Glad I have the AA program in place, I'm a miserable sober Dad without that.
Just being sober, wasn't enough. I wasn't one of the "I quit drinking and I've never been so happy " folks.
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