Eshgham

Day 14. Pull-ups + handstand push-ups. Toughest day since stopping. Tight Deadlines > Anxiety > Escape > Alcohol.

Enhanced creativity is how I rationalize it. Ideas come more readily with a bottle. But the bad outweighs the good. I feel much better already, I was a mess 2 weeks ago.

Eshgham

Day 15: OK
Day 16: OK
Day 17: Drank
Day 18: Drank
Day 19: Today

Caved. Checking in today so I don’t throw any more days away, which would be a shame. I’ll count out the 30 days to keep me going and then re-set the counter.

Dee74

Sorry you drank Eshgham but glad you made it back.
Can you identify why you drank those two days?

D

Eshgham

Thanks Dee. I had meetings to lead and couldn’t concentrate - my mind was blocked, and even looking at what I wanted to do generated anxiety. It’s ridiculous. I panicked - drinking loosened me up and allowed me to focus for an hour to prepare properly. I need to find a way to develop this kind of focus and confidence without chemical assistance. I think the problem is I keep getting positive results from Valium or alcohol (and positive feedback, so I’m not deluding myself) while I perform a lot worse sober.

Dee74

Yeah - self medication usually works..until it doesn't.

Valium and alcohol aren't magic elixirs - it doesn't manufacture stuff out of thin air - you have the innate talents, the potential and the capability to do every thing sober that you do when drinking or taking valium.

but as you already know, there is a transition period where you probably won't get great results.
You have to look past that...this phase won't last forever.

D

Eshgham

^Yep, managing the transition period is most challenging. Last few days have been better.

Day 20: 30 min jog, hand stand push ups.

Eshgham

Day 21: More handstand push-ups, strength endurance super sets + 30 mins on the bike. Going to try get up early next Monday and use the kayak

Eshgham

Day 22. Will try and “treat” myself to something while watching the footy instead of alcohol to get through what’s always a tempting time.

Eshgham

Day 23: Sprints

Eshgham

Day 24: Push-ups. 16 hours into a 72 hour fast (water + black coffee only).

Eshgham

Day 25. No kayak due to rain. 100+ pull-ups and breathing exercises. 42 hours into the fast.

Eshgham

Day 26. I didn’t quite make the 72 hours like I did in early August, broke the fast at 58 hours. Will try again in a month or so. 30 min jog today + breathing exercises.

Eshgham

Days 27-28: Nothing days, but pleased to not drink.

Eshgham

*Double post.