Justfor1

After over 2 and 1/2 years I have lost my disability in Federal Court. I had 4 appeals, 2 different lawyers and they did there best. Social Security claims my mental illness is caused by my alcoholism/substance. I haven't taken it too well and believe I'm in relapse mode. I'm up to my old tricks of panhandling downtown, on the train and pretending to have lost my luggage and wallet at the airports and need money for a ticket home. I guess I'm saving this money for a bender. I'm sober but so angry I could scream. I'm having trouble locating my treatment records so I may not be able to get my license back either. Everything is crashing around me and I don't care much anymore. My sponser never believed in me filing anyways so he is not much help. Friends/family cannot believe I was denied but that's the "system". I simply cannot work and just feel so frustrated.

Dee74

I'm sorry that things are going badly for you, but drinking's not the answer.

Plug yourself in to whatever you're using for support - whatever happens now you're better placed to deal with it sober.

Use the energy you have now in getting angry at the system - use it to find the supporting evidence for your claim - see as many professionals and authorities as it takes - and then take it back to the powers that be.

good luck
D

Mark75

Perhaps he was afraid this very thing would happen. Call him, he may be more help than you think.

nandm

I too have been fighting with the disability system for 5 years now. It is a frustrating and unfair system from what I have seen when it comes to mental illness. Unfortunately if the disability can not been seen, such as an arm or leg missing, they do not want to believe one is disabled. They do not have a clue how debilitating mental illness can be.

I do have to say that drinking is not going to solve the problem. If the system states that your mental health issues are the result of drug/alcohol problems then the best thing you can do is put as much distance between the alcohol/drugs as you can. That means staying sober and clean. Also talk to another attorney. Don't give up fighting. Insist that the system do a mental health exam on you. I know it is frustrating and discouraging but one is only beat when one gives up. Keep getting back up and moving forward.

Take care and I do hope things improve for you soon.

Freedom1990

It took me 4 years and many denials, plus three attorneys to finally win my disability case. Mine is based on both physical and mental disability. The system is meant to discourage people so they give up. Thank God I made the call to Legal Aid last year in that tiny office and didn't give up before it happened.

Justfor1

Thanks everyone but I only appeal one more time in the Federal Court Of Appeals and very few attornyes can practice in Federal Court let alone take on a mental illness case. There is also like a $500 filing fee to appeal to the next level. I did what people told me and fought it but I'm done. Very few cases even get this far because most people give up sooner. Life can be unfair at times. Hopefully, I can work part time just a few days a week but that seems overwhelming right now looking for a job. I just want to put this miserable experience behind me.

Justfor1

I have to be honest. I didn't even read the replies when I posted my last post. I guess I'm just so angry I'm seeing Red. Frredom, I would be interested in what level of Appeal that you won? I believe there comes a time though when a person needs to quit the process of fighting Disability and move on. The emotional energy towards fighting it, is just not worth it. I rarely trust people but believe this lawyer that this case is just too complex and hard to win. This lawyer is one of the most recommended in the Midwest. He is not the "famous" disability lawyers on television either. Alcoholism may very well be a disease but overall society doesn't believe it. This has just been my very painful experience. And I trust my own personal experience more than treatment, meetings ect......

Zencat

My SSI disability claim was approved because of my severe mental illness. My psychiatrist told me that there is no definitive proof one way or the other on the exact causation of mental illness. He said there to many factors to consider and it would be difficult to pinpoint any one or combinations of factors to be absolutely certain of the correct cause.

I do know that being an alcoholic/addict is not enough to qualify for SSI. But if alcoholism/addiction had cause a disability:
Anyways my Dr thought that my childhood PTSD along with my harmful substance dependance is the likely cause my mental illness.

I sorry you were turned down for SSDI. I hope you can make things work out. The only I know of work things out is doing it sober. Please take good care of your health.

Freedom1990

I lost at the federal level and then hired the new attorney through legal aid. We started over, won it the first time, and it was backdated to the last denial date, May 2008.

BackToSquareOne

Doesn't age have a lot to do with SSDI, I've heard that it's a lot harder for younger people because of the grid system they use.

Kjell

Hi Just-

I'm sorry.

That must be very hard news to accept.

Just know that life will continue on and you'll need to as well.

Do yourself right. Treat yourself right. You are worth it.

Kjell~

DayTrader

As has been said in some other recent threads, a lot of the "worst things ever" in my past turned out to be very necessary parts of a much bigger picture that I couldn't fully comprehend at the time - a bigger picture that not only worked out for the better but could not have come to fruition had that "bad event" not happened.

As a result, these "worst things ever" were really just uncomfortable speed bumps on the way to a much better destination I hadn't thought of yet.

The first requirement to taking the 3rd step is that I be convinced I can no longer try to play God - it just doesn't work. For me, that means I have to be willing to let go of expectations and to consider that what I think is best....or necessary....might be wrong - and in some cases it's turned out to be the opposite of what I really needed or should have wanted.

The extent to which I try to run my own life and control the outcomes of the activities I engage in (i.e. the amount of "playing God" I try to get away with) is usually directly proportional to the amount of irritability, restlessness, frustration, and depression present in my life.

TheEnd

Hang in there, if you drink, it will only make things worst.....

Supercrew

You can panhandle, you can take trains, you have chaired meetings, you have access to a computer and you write rather well with coherent thoughts, why is it that you "simply cannot work"?

I'm not trying to judge your situation but you seem pretty bright and I think you are selling yourself short.

nandm

I can understand what you are trying to say here and I have to say that your point of view is not uncommon in fact it is how a lot of people view those with debilitating mental health conditions.

I attend at least one AA meeting a week, I use the computer, I can write coherent thoughts, I can drive, I can sometimes go to the grocery store on my own, I drive to my mental health appointments, etc.... So many would assume or ask the question that you have of "why is it that you 'simply cannot work?'"

To answer your question. I for one have PTSD, bipolar disorder, chronic anxiety disorder, agoraphobia,and major depressive disorder. The effects of these conditions are I have difficulty concentrating; when I am in a depression I can hardly get out of bed, let alone get dressed, take a shower, cook a meal, remember to eat, etc... The agoraphobia makes it where I can most of the time only make it out of my house if my partner goes with me. I cannot even go to the mailbox to check the mail. There are days when I have no problem leaving the house but those are few and far between. When I do drive I am easily lost even going to familiar places. The anxiety that is present when I do drive leaves me many times on the side of the road in an anxiety attack or I have to take an anti anxiety medication that has side effects that make me drowsy (not a good thing to be driving on). I have frequent flashbacks which can be triggered by stress, sounds, smells, and situations. When I have these it is like I am no longer here I am in that event and it takes a bit to sort out things and realize which is reality and which is not. These are not real good to have when one is driving as needless to say it is quite distracting and dangerous to not be able to tell reality from a flashback. I have night terrors which wake me from a sound sleep leaving me in a waking nightmare until my mind catches up with my body and realizes it is not real just a nightmare. I have horrible nightmares that I can not describe to anyone. I have difficulty in social situations. When I am in a social situation such as an AA meeting I have to sit by the door without anyone behind my back or between me and the door, I only attend very small meetings. When I am in a depression the first thought to enter my head each morning is 'put a gun to your head' (that is literally the exact thing that hits my head each morning). I fight with suicide on nearly a daily basis.

People that do not know me have very little clue that my mental health is what it is. To them I appear normal but to those that know me they understand the difficulty that these issues cause. They can see when my anxiety level is high and do what they can to help even if it is just letting me know it is ok and they are still my friends despite my issues. From outward appearances one would think "why don't I work" in fact I have had people ask my partner why I do not work. The best response we have come up with is I am retired. Which is not a lie as I have had to put my nursing and paramedic licenses into a retired state since I have not been able to work since 2006.

I hope my post has given you some insight into understanding how devastating mental illness can be even if things look ok or sound ok on the outside it is the inside that is a disaster. I honestly wish I could work. I went from a high paying career of 20 years to no income at all. That was devastating and affects not only my future but my partners future. It is sad that people just don't realize how debilitating these diseases are because many with them present well on the outside. I can only hope one day people will be more understanding and less judgmental of mental health issues.

Supercrew

I appreciate the response, but there are other options that would allow you to work from your home. I respect your situation and the op's, but there are many options available that some people never think of and all you need is computer access and/or a telephone.

I think part of recovery is really stepping back and taking a look at all the options available. Possibilities are limitless if you want to focus on them, and if you want to focus on your limitations and why you can't....then there are no possibilities.

People can accomplish miraculous things when they focus on what they want.

nandm

What sort of employer will tolerate someone who does not show up for work several months out of the year because they are in a deep depression where just getting out of bed is a chore? The jobs you talk about take schooling. So how is one to get that education if one can not afford the classes because they have no income and/or can not make it to the classes or complete the assignments due to the mental health issues? A telephone job is out of question for those suffering from social anxiety. I do not even answer the phone more than 75% of the time even when I know who is calling. That is not laziness that is social anxiety. So a telephone job is out of the question. Memory lapses and difficulty concentrating pretty much rule out any other jobs as deadlines will be missed and assignments not completed. I can continue to give you other examples but I doubt it will change your mind as you like many others can not understand something that you can not feel or see. Until you walk in someone else's shoes it is easy to sit back and give advice and state how things should be if one 'Just pulls up their boot straps" and moves forward.

If I was not trying to move forward I would just kill myself now and be done with it. So please don't preach about recovery being moving forward and not about looking at limitations only possibilities because honestly you have no clue what it is like to walk in someone's shoes who suffers from mental illness. I pray that you never find out what it is like as I would not wish this on anyone. What is the saying? Before judging someone walk a mile in their shoes....maybe it would be a good idea if you remember that and practice compassion rather than judgment

NYCDoglvr

Of course you're angry! For some reason, it seems quite common for us alcoholics to do something self-destructive when something bad happens. I'm sure you've worked hard to stay sober and it's an accomplishment you can be proud of.

If you drink you'll feel ten times worse (alcohol is a depressant, remember). If I was in your situation I'd increase my meetings, the one thing that does help with extreme emotion. And, going up to a newcomer and asking how he/she is a way of getting us out of our own heads.

Another thing is writing a gratitude list. It doesn't mean you have to feel gratitude, but listing the positives (your life, health, sobriety, friends, sponsor, home, etc) shifts the mind from anger to gratitude.

Someone I know with almost 40 years says, "Life only s*cks one day at a time ...."

Elisabeth888

Hi,

I need to do an introduction and will shortly, but I just wanted you to know that I hope things work out for you.

I also have applied for Disability and have recently gotten a letter stating that I have been approved. I am bi-polar and have severe anxiety. Alcohol did not cause these conditions but I did self medicate myself into alcoholism. I am not sure how they can say or prove that alcohol caused mental illness. Usually we are trying to "cure" ourselves.

I have therapists, psychiatrists and hospitals coraborating that I am 'dual diagnosis' and they have communicated this to SS.

Good luck and prayers to you.

Supercrew