What I don't miss. . . . . . .
I don’t miss being on an errand and wondering if I got rid of that wine bottle that I placed behind the couch the night before after I drank the whole thing. Turning off my phone so I couldn’t be located while getting more booze to replace the booze I snuck. I mean, get a funnel and refill the original body, and hide the ‘extra filler’ bottle. Gulping hard liquor while doing dishes after dinner. Not peeing until 2 pm after hangover skiing since 0800. Not remembering sex the night before. Vaguely recalling falling down stairs on top of boyfriend with broken leg cast on. Calling in sick one time because I was still drunk, and seeing a half bottle of cinnamon whiskey gone and being astonished. The belly bloat. The extra calories. Recognize that I’m slurring words, and wondering if others noticed ? Drunk texting others . Afraid to get up and walk because the room was listing back and forth. Broken promises to myself. Self loathing. Pancreatic and liver pain. Being short tempered with my kids. Not remembering the entire movie. Forgetting where I put things, where I put them when I was sober ….Filling up the booze bottles with water to equal their previous volume.
Last night I was watching a show and the main character was lying on a bed saying, "The room is spinning" and I had the most horrible, realistic flashback to that feeling of the room moving and I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. I don't miss that.
I don’t miss being hungover on January 1, halfway just wishing I could be sober in the new year. Wishing and hoping never worked, It took action. I don’t miss the hopelessly formidable New Year with my toxic relationship with alcohol.
I don’t miss feeling anxious that I haven’t had enough ( when others one or two glasses is plenty for them, and they are content 😅 and I wonder how I’m going to sneak more……
I don't miss the drunken crying over the same movie. I can't watch that movie anymore, it disturbs me.
I don't miss 'coming to' in the morning, still half drunk, but half hungover too. Waking up feeling awful.
I don't miss 'coming to' in the morning, still half drunk, but half hungover too. Waking up feeling awful.
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