People who stop going to meetings but stay sober
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by desypete 
i am of course talking about aa and not the program or the big book
if you can show me where it says the fellowship of aa is all about god then show me ?
where does it say you need to believe in god to attend aa meetings ?
if you can show me where it says the fellowship of aa is all about god then show me ?
where does it say you need to believe in god to attend aa meetings ?
It seems that you are bent on telling everyone that AA has nothing to do with God. I would simply suggest that its best to allow everyone their own choice.
However, again, one can not pretend that they do not see, hear, and read God in the Big Book, in The Fellowship and in AA meetings.
One can not separate The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, the Big Book and AA. Alcoholics Anonymous IS both. There are two parts of Alcoholics Anonymous... The Program and The Fellowship.
Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on what God anyone does or does not believe in. Again, To Each Their Own.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
rely on GOD not meetings
we should put that up on the aa adverts all across the world.
no need to go to aa for your drink problems just rely on god or go to church
your wisdom knocks me out with that great message : )
What a mean reply.
You ask how can be people be grateful to God but not the AA fellowship? Seriously?
You gripe about people holding up the God banner, yet you say that it is your opinion no one would be sober without AA? Really?
Obviously your take is it is your way or the highway.
I don't like your way. It is people like you that stop people like me from going to AA. I don't like that hypocrisy. It's crap I don't need.
we should put that up on the aa adverts all across the world.
no need to go to aa for your drink problems just rely on god or go to church
your wisdom knocks me out with that great message : )
What a mean reply.
You ask how can be people be grateful to God but not the AA fellowship? Seriously?
You gripe about people holding up the God banner, yet you say that it is your opinion no one would be sober without AA? Really?
Obviously your take is it is your way or the highway.
I don't like your way. It is people like you that stop people like me from going to AA. I don't like that hypocrisy. It's crap I don't need.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Originally Posted by bob_sapp
... I think you can practice the program by yourself in the middle of the bush as long as you have god and some reading material. ...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 123
I still attend meetings frequently but I haven't had a Sponsor since last January.
I still work a program and work with other alcoholics. I think people get pigeon holed into believing that they need to do AA a certain way or else their doing it wrong and will drink and die as a result. When AA was in the early stages they didn't have meetings. They didn't have the Big Book. They didn't do a 90 in 90. What they did have was God and they did work with other alcoholics. You do not need to work with others in meetings. Working with others can take place any where. I really wonder if working with alcoholics is even a requirement because there are a lot of sick, non-alcoholics that could benefit from AA principles. I know people who attend meetings religiously and still relapse.
I still work a program and work with other alcoholics. I think people get pigeon holed into believing that they need to do AA a certain way or else their doing it wrong and will drink and die as a result. When AA was in the early stages they didn't have meetings. They didn't have the Big Book. They didn't do a 90 in 90. What they did have was God and they did work with other alcoholics. You do not need to work with others in meetings. Working with others can take place any where. I really wonder if working with alcoholics is even a requirement because there are a lot of sick, non-alcoholics that could benefit from AA principles. I know people who attend meetings religiously and still relapse.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 123
Also, I met a recovered alcoholic with 20 some years who only attends Al-Anon. Al-Anon is close to AA but it still wasn't designed to keep people sober. Also, Al-Anon proves that AA can help anyone as the Al-Anon program is essentially AA for non-alcoholics.
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
Originally Posted by PAC86
I still attend meetings frequently but I haven't had a Sponsor since last January.
I still work a program and work with other alcoholics. I think people get pigeon holed into believing that they need to do AA a certain way or else their doing it wrong and will drink and die as a result. When AA was in the early stages they didn't have meetings. They didn't have the Big Book. They didn't do a 90 in 90. What they did have was God and they did work with other alcoholics. You do not need to work with others in meetings. Working with others can take place any where. I really wonder if working with alcoholics is even a requirement because there are a lot of sick, non-alcoholics that could benefit from AA principles. I know people who attend meetings religiously and still relapse.
I still work a program and work with other alcoholics. I think people get pigeon holed into believing that they need to do AA a certain way or else their doing it wrong and will drink and die as a result. When AA was in the early stages they didn't have meetings. They didn't have the Big Book. They didn't do a 90 in 90. What they did have was God and they did work with other alcoholics. You do not need to work with others in meetings. Working with others can take place any where. I really wonder if working with alcoholics is even a requirement because there are a lot of sick, non-alcoholics that could benefit from AA principles. I know people who attend meetings religiously and still relapse.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Did I stop going to meetings and stay sober?
Short story: No.
Long story: I had stopped going to meetings for 10 years before I relapsed. There was no particular reason for that--our group moved, members scattered, I remarried and then moved across the city and I never got myself involved in another group.
I spent about the last 3 or 4 years of that decade contemplating drinking again. I couldn't even make myself drink at first, I'd been sober so long, that in a way it was second nature. But I did nothing else to maintain that sobriety either; maybe I lasted that long out of sheer habit or something.
Eventually, all I'd learned began to erode away and all the old negativity began to take over in a downward slide until the time came when it became easy to drink. It was a deliberate, premeditated act. When I look back on it now, I clearly see the insanity involved.
In hindsight, if I had wanted to stay sober, I might have been able to manage without meetings as long as I did all the other things I needed to do, like working with others, practicing the steps and keeping sobriety a priority.
Today I enjoy going to meetings--it's my Attitude Adjustment hour, enables me to be with others like me, and keeps me on track. Speaking of that, I have to go and get ready for my morning meeting now.
Short story: No.
Long story: I had stopped going to meetings for 10 years before I relapsed. There was no particular reason for that--our group moved, members scattered, I remarried and then moved across the city and I never got myself involved in another group.
I spent about the last 3 or 4 years of that decade contemplating drinking again. I couldn't even make myself drink at first, I'd been sober so long, that in a way it was second nature. But I did nothing else to maintain that sobriety either; maybe I lasted that long out of sheer habit or something.
Eventually, all I'd learned began to erode away and all the old negativity began to take over in a downward slide until the time came when it became easy to drink. It was a deliberate, premeditated act. When I look back on it now, I clearly see the insanity involved.
In hindsight, if I had wanted to stay sober, I might have been able to manage without meetings as long as I did all the other things I needed to do, like working with others, practicing the steps and keeping sobriety a priority.
Today I enjoy going to meetings--it's my Attitude Adjustment hour, enables me to be with others like me, and keeps me on track. Speaking of that, I have to go and get ready for my morning meeting now.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
My dad is 33 years sober and hasn't been to a meeting in years (decades?) He practices the principles in all his affairs and carries the message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
Personally, I like AA meetings and go 2ish times per week. My homies are there (there is a core of about 3 of us who are pretty tight). My homegroup is pretty mixed atheist/agnostic/theist, so I enjoy going where I'm accepted as an atheist. (yes, you can be a non-theist and have a higher power....I'm doing it.). We also get a pretty regular influx of newcomers.
My point is....each person has his own path and if contented sobriety is the outcome, how can it be judged as "wrong"?
Personally, I like AA meetings and go 2ish times per week. My homies are there (there is a core of about 3 of us who are pretty tight). My homegroup is pretty mixed atheist/agnostic/theist, so I enjoy going where I'm accepted as an atheist. (yes, you can be a non-theist and have a higher power....I'm doing it.). We also get a pretty regular influx of newcomers.
My point is....each person has his own path and if contented sobriety is the outcome, how can it be judged as "wrong"?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,384
Though it can be done while still staying sober, I feel it's definitely a mistake for a recovering alcoholic to completely stop going to AA meetings if that's what got you sober in the first place.
Even if you go once every two weeks or even once a month, it's better than completely stopping. If AA is what got you sober, then why completely stop it?
The way I look at it the more things you do to assure you don't ever pick up that drink again the better off you are.
Sure working the steps and praying is at the top of the list. But doing that plus going to meetings for fellowship assures your sobriety even more.
Now an issue for many people is finding meetings that they like going to. There's no question that many people aren't going to like every meeting they go to, me included.
But if a person tries say 20 different meetings there's got to be at least one where they feel comfortable at. If it's only one then that's fine. Two or more the better. Just make sure you keep in contact with AA.
Even if you go once every two weeks or even once a month, it's better than completely stopping. If AA is what got you sober, then why completely stop it?
The way I look at it the more things you do to assure you don't ever pick up that drink again the better off you are.
Sure working the steps and praying is at the top of the list. But doing that plus going to meetings for fellowship assures your sobriety even more.
Now an issue for many people is finding meetings that they like going to. There's no question that many people aren't going to like every meeting they go to, me included.
But if a person tries say 20 different meetings there's got to be at least one where they feel comfortable at. If it's only one then that's fine. Two or more the better. Just make sure you keep in contact with AA.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 29
"same as they do for me now and i am only a baby in aa as i have only been around this time sober for 10 years "
This is the type of attitude that drove me away from AA.
Give yourself some credit. You've been sober for 10 years. You did that.
This is the type of attitude that drove me away from AA.
Give yourself some credit. You've been sober for 10 years. You did that.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 29
"For REAL ALCOHOLICS the 12 steps are the only game in town. And for you to be anti-12 step in a meeting is damaging to the newcomer. Mayber you're not a REAL alcoholic as they describe in the big book."
Telling an alcoholic he or she is not a real alcoholic can lead them to relapse and possible death. Perhaps he doesn't agree with you. That doesn't make him any less of an alcoholic than you.
Telling an alcoholic he or she is not a real alcoholic can lead them to relapse and possible death. Perhaps he doesn't agree with you. That doesn't make him any less of an alcoholic than you.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Physics4Life
Telling an alcoholic he or she is not a real alcoholic can lead them to relapse and possible death. Perhaps he doesn't agree with you. That doesn't make him any less of an alcoholic than you.
And on an earlier post, I absolutely buy into the statement on page p82 "We feel a man is unthinking when he says
that sobriety is enough." Bill Wilson also wrote more than a couple interesting articles on settling for less than everything our God and recovery has available to us.
When I hear someone say "not drinking is no longer enough for me" I applaud their willingness to seek more from God, more from AA and more for their life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 32
I've drastically reduced my meeting attendance but have decided to return almost full-time as much as is possible simply for the fellowship and sobriety it has proven to be impossible for me to be a part-time meeting attender after all I truly am all in or all out, what does scare me though is some of the people I have encountered since re-committing to the meetings and how sick they really are. I have managed to clean up a great deal very easily by simply realizing how sick my own behaviors were becoming and finding new ways of coping with life. How this will work with regular meeting attendance? Well, Women and using them was a big defect of mine as a love and sex addict I truly found it necessary to use a woman after a bad conflict with some horrible lady at the meeting who admits to being an active drug-user but claims many years of sobriety. Personality conflicts are huge triggers for me to go back using drugs, booze and people, they really are so forward I go in hopes of learning how to better cope with dysfunctional people and no tradition 12 doesn't help me cope when I'm being attacked.
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