exjunky

Question: Guess how many days I've stayed clean.

Answer: I have no freakin' idea!

Is this weird? It seems everybody around here can tell me how long they've been clean, down to the hours and minutes!! Me, I don't know. I don't mark the calendar. All I know is that I've been on suboxone for well over a month so I guess it must be 40 days or so, but who's counting? Not me.

I could go look up the records and try to make an accurate count, but who cares?

It seems to me that if you want to put drugs behind you, you have to really put them behind you. Counting the days clean seems to work against that, you're constantly reminding yourself of drugs.

When you reach the one-year mark, nothing special happens. An angel doesn't come down out of a cloud to give you a pat on the back. And suppose you do celebrate the one year mark, what are you really celebrating? If you've been clean for one year, well that means that one year ago you did drugs. So what you really are celebrating is the last time you've done drugs. It's like an anniversary for your last heroin shot. I don't think this is the best way to go, at least not for me.

I wanted to bring this up to hear if other people have strong opinions about this one way or the other.

God bless,
x-j

tiburon88

Wow I totally agree with you and feel that we are in the minority. I think for some the counting clean days is actually harmful.

Jane63

I think it is personal choice how one wants to celebrate their recovery.

I keep track of all kinds of stuff on my calendar...including birthdays, anniversaries, special events, holidays and the really bizarre stuff like deaths of family, friends and even beloved pets I've had! I even have marked the days when our town suffered two horrible floods and a tornado...Just so that I can remember them and when they happened.

So I guess it didn't seem weird to me to keep track of the day I stopped using...which also happens to be the day I entered myself into rehab.
I am not celebrating the last day I used but the first day I did not.

Well...CONGRATS on your ? days clean, ex...And here's to many more for you!
~Jane

emmer

I think knowing when we got clean is important. You see, knowing your clean time allows you to share this with other addicts.
In doing this they can celebrate with us and encourage us.

Really, isn't looking at a your one year mark as a celebration of the last time you shot heroin...the same as looking a glass of water and saying it's half empty?

windysan

my "anniversary" is cinco de mayo so it is easy to remember. no big deal to me though.

ccgirl

Mine is my kids last day of school. Actually today is my official 90 days!

windysan

Lbad

I am celebrating the first day of my new life not the last day of my old life......

2ala2

Why do people celebrate their birth date?
To remind themselves that they're one year closer to death?
I believe, like Emmer said, that's the empty half of the glass.
I love remembering when I got clean down to the minute. I want to always remember my last shot of heroin and how bad it was, always!

Brewster

2ala2;

The feeling bad part of w/d is what keeps me sober. Like you I hope I never forget that. Sober life can be difficult, but it's still easier than going through drug induced escapism and all the problems it brings.

Gmoney

I would think that the logic behind celebrating a "clean date" is the same as celebrating any special occasion. It's because it's SPECIAL. My clean date signifies a spectacular change in my life!! Why wouldn't I want to remember it and celebrate it? I certainly don't agree that it's like reminding me of drugs or that something is working against me. My first sponsor used to say that sharing our clean time with others gives them hope that they can also get clean and stay clean. He would also say that the addict that can't remember his/her clean date was destined to use again. I don't know how true that last statement is, but I do know that it's important for me to remember the pain and misery of active addiction so that I don't fool myself into believing, "Oh...it wasn't that bad...I could do it again."

I celebrate my birthday, not to remind myself of how much closer I am to death, but to rejoice and appreciate the fact that I survived to see another one. I celebrate the day I got hired on my job, not to rub my seniority in others faces, but to be grateful that I'm still employed by the same company and just that much closer to getting my pension. I could go on and on...but I'll stop because, for me, it really isn't about getting pats on the back. It's about self-affirmation, self-acceptance and building self-asteem. I truly believe our attitude toward our personal recovery is what makes our recovery enjoyable and satisfying.

I'm proud of the fact that I haven't used since August 24th, 1998, and more than that: I'm grateful.

littlethings

I myself have NEVER counted days clean.... and I was on methadone for 2+ years and when ppl would ask me how many days i had clean and i would reply "i don't know" i would get weird looks.... I agree with your why count the days statement.. I don't see a need to.

2ala2

Being on Methadone is not being clean.

windysan

I don't know about that. For some methadone is a necessary medication.

exjunky

It's a never-ending debate without any hope of an answer, what "clean" really means.

I think it really depends on the person. If I have a glass of wine with dinner tonight, I would still regard myself as "clean", but that's only because I am not a recovering alcoholic. For other people that same innocent glass of wine with dinner would be catastrophic.

But methadone users don't get high on their methadone, at least not after the first few days, and I think that's what counts the most, the sobriety. If they want to count their methadone time as "clean" time, I'll go along with that. Why take away their credit for a great step forward?

windysan

agreed. i had some wine last night but i ain't a drunk so i consider myself offa dope. i really don't think one size fits all. we all have different pantelones. (that's spanish for pants)

littlethings

I think methadone does count as being clean if you are on a dosage that is right for you. You should NOT get the "nods" or "dope lean" from methadone. If you are on your correct dosage, this does not happen.

When ppl are on the wrong dose of methadone and they get "high" off of it, then that is NOT CLEAN. You are then using methadone to get high instead of using it as a temporary "crutch" to get yourself clean....

If you do not agree with this.... then does being on any/all PRESCRIBED medications mean that you're NOT clean??

you tell me.

emmer

For some folks being on methodone simply means - no needle in arm -

GlassPrisoner

Most people that I know that say their sobriety date is not important are ones that have several sobriety dates.

I don't keep track of mine for bragging rights. I do it because 1. I am accountable for my sobriety, and 2. It shows the new-comers that my program works.

Timebuster

littlethings...

READ

In Times of Illness

This is NA Fellowship-approved literature.

Ivan