Husband doesn't want me to quit drinking
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 16
Husband doesn't want me to quit drinking
I have not had a drink in 19 days. My husband is not happy. He is a normal drinker & wants me to have 1 or 2 on occassion. He's always wanted me to drink on his schedule. I can do it with effort but I just really don't want to anymore. Also, I sometimes fail & drink more then I intend to. I never want to have another hangover! I also am so liking being able to sleep soundly, which I don't with even 1 drink.
I wish I never would have told him I quit. I could have been a closet non-drinker. I also realize if I forget my reasons for quitting, I'll use this as rationalization for drinking (better for relationship, no one thinks I have a problem etc.).
He admits it's selfish of him but says he can't help but feel he's giving up something & I do see his point. I told him I'm much happier, feel physically better, & am more optimistic.
He won't push it so I don't need advice on that but was wondering if anyone else had experienced this & how it turned out.
I wish I never would have told him I quit. I could have been a closet non-drinker. I also realize if I forget my reasons for quitting, I'll use this as rationalization for drinking (better for relationship, no one thinks I have a problem etc.).
He admits it's selfish of him but says he can't help but feel he's giving up something & I do see his point. I told him I'm much happier, feel physically better, & am more optimistic.
He won't push it so I don't need advice on that but was wondering if anyone else had experienced this & how it turned out.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
One step at a time. Like the PP said, ...don't. If you need support with that keep coming back. As he watches you get more and more clear headed, you'd be suprised at what he wants you to do.
Sober and Free
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: bay area CA
Posts: 398
My husband didn't want me to quit either. Then we had a bad patch, and we both quit for 5 months. Then I relapsed, and he started right back up.
Now I have 9 days again, and he's still a regular beer drinker. Does he have a problem? Dont know, that's up to him. He drinks different then me. He's an every day beer guy, not always drunk, occasional binges when he chooses. I'm a ... well, control teehee ... that's just a silly asumption for me. I'm a morning drunk, night time wondering what I did kind of gal.
He still thinks I could do wine coolers or mikes ... I love those drinks. But I love them as chasers, lol, and no matter how I try 'control'- I fail. He does not see how much I drank during my short relapse (I did not show then, and when I share now he thinks it's exageration because I hid it so well), but he did see my moods drop, my body quickly spiral downwards, and even more, my intense fear. Yup ... still wants me to drink wine coolers, nope, can't handle the word 'addicted' or 'alcoholic'. But if I say no, he doesn't push. It's my job to say no, if I rely on him (or anyone else) I'm screwed. Just me and my HP.
Anyway ... I'm there. He's the only one that does not believe I have a problem. He's my best friend, and I spend more time with him then anyone else. It's hard. But it's out of my control. I can't force him to 'see' it. I can only work on my sobriety. If I expect him to accept me as I am, I have to accept him as he is. It's a two way street I guess, and on this one, we sorta meet somewhere in the middle.
Now I have 9 days again, and he's still a regular beer drinker. Does he have a problem? Dont know, that's up to him. He drinks different then me. He's an every day beer guy, not always drunk, occasional binges when he chooses. I'm a ... well, control teehee ... that's just a silly asumption for me. I'm a morning drunk, night time wondering what I did kind of gal.
He still thinks I could do wine coolers or mikes ... I love those drinks. But I love them as chasers, lol, and no matter how I try 'control'- I fail. He does not see how much I drank during my short relapse (I did not show then, and when I share now he thinks it's exageration because I hid it so well), but he did see my moods drop, my body quickly spiral downwards, and even more, my intense fear. Yup ... still wants me to drink wine coolers, nope, can't handle the word 'addicted' or 'alcoholic'. But if I say no, he doesn't push. It's my job to say no, if I rely on him (or anyone else) I'm screwed. Just me and my HP.
Anyway ... I'm there. He's the only one that does not believe I have a problem. He's my best friend, and I spend more time with him then anyone else. It's hard. But it's out of my control. I can't force him to 'see' it. I can only work on my sobriety. If I expect him to accept me as I am, I have to accept him as he is. It's a two way street I guess, and on this one, we sorta meet somewhere in the middle.
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