I think I will make this little corner of the internet my home
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by jazzfish 
The Big Plan is not a collection of magic words. It is my well thought out response to any urge, craving, desire, request, invitation, daydream, or thought that tries to introduce drinking as an option.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by jazzfish
I'm not sure how the old habits crept back in, but they did. Somehow, the Big Plan had morphed into the Big Decision, and I was hoping that simply saying the words would keep me sober.
Originally Posted by jazzfish
I was recently reading a business book and it mentioned that making decisions is easy, it is the management of implementation that is critical. A plan is what guides my actions to implement that decision. Of course, I made the connection to my own action toward my Big Plan.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
I found tools to be critical for me. Not just an intellectual decision, "I won't drink no matter what", that's fine but I was never able to control my drinking by decisions and iron will, and I couldn't stay stopped that way either. What worked was, specific actions to follow in response to changing situations. The usual suggestions: distract myself with something else, leave the room, leave the event, go for a drive, listen to music, change the music, call someone (that never worked for me, does for some), go to a meeting, go to an online meeting or forum or chat room, etc. I think the reason this is effective is that it helps rewire our brains, so to speak, train ourselves so it becomes automatic, much like you train in sports so your actions become rapid and fluid and don't need intellectual guidance. So the next time a trigger comes up, or even a random thought, it takes a bit less effort to just pass it off. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
My High School Volleyball Coaching Wife used 'Muscle Memory' Decades ago. Approach and Spike that Ball on full, but cognizant, 'Autopilot'.
Tiger Woods supposedly drove 500 Golf Balls every morning at his Career peak. Same Technique.
Adapted to not Drinking, anything from snapping a Rubber Band on your Wrist, to grabbing your Cellphone to read or listen to some helpful Mantra, to 'freezing' motionlessly and Meditating for ~10 seconds might be usable alternatives. Rinse and repeat...
Pick and rehearse a few [or many] such lil maneuvers, and work them. New Default Responses will settle in over time.
Tiger Woods supposedly drove 500 Golf Balls every morning at his Career peak. Same Technique.
Adapted to not Drinking, anything from snapping a Rubber Band on your Wrist, to grabbing your Cellphone to read or listen to some helpful Mantra, to 'freezing' motionlessly and Meditating for ~10 seconds might be usable alternatives. Rinse and repeat...
Pick and rehearse a few [or many] such lil maneuvers, and work them. New Default Responses will settle in over time.
Better when never is never
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
What sentences and feelings were going through your head during the five minutes up to the very moment you swallowed the first gulp of your last drinking episode?
After making your Big Plan, what actions need to be implemented towards it?
After making your Big Plan, what actions need to be implemented towards it?
There are only two actions to consider drink or don't drink. Don't drink is the action to choose - a non-action really.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by jazzfish
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
What sentences and feelings were going through your head during the five minutes up to the very moment you swallowed the first gulp of your last drinking episode?
If you believe drinking some more is against your better judgement, it's hard to imagine that wrongness of doing so never came into your thoughts or feelings in the five minutes before you swallowed that first gulp of your last drinking episode.
What I did was to take the plunge, and I made a Big Plan for man-made sweets; and it stands in my mind rock solid along side my Big Plans for alcohol/drugs and caffeine.
Originally Posted by jazzfish
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
After making your Big Plan, what actions need to be implemented towards it?
The idea that "Someday It Will Be Time to Consider Drinking Again" is just me reading the headstone on the grave of my Beast of Booze.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 508
My big plan took away my choice too, I wasn't sure at first that it could or should be that simple. When I stop analysing my motives long enough to consider life since my big plan it truly captivates my thoughts about my return to self-abuse through intoxicating substances into such neatness with the belief I have that I never now drink or just I don't drink. I never drink is my safety net against reopening past, ineffective, faith based on lies. E.g. One won't hurt, just on special occasions, only on Fridays, twos my limit, bit stressed? Very stressed? Depressed? Stressed?
I am thankful of the power the A.C.E. revealed for me.
I made my choice with regards alcohol over 16months ago and am grateful for not having to make the choice again.
So happy I came here when feeling the stress in my life and the strange nostalgic yearnings for a past before I 'had a problem' due to the recent lovely weather opening a picture of lazy sunny days wasted in beer gardens, fields, parks and anywhere with my friends (who I no longer have coz they were/are just drinkers) it's a wonderful place for me, sitting in the sunny garden with my cold coke listening to the singing birds and feeling amongst truly understanding
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
I am thankful of the power the A.C.E. revealed for me.
I made my choice with regards alcohol over 16months ago and am grateful for not having to make the choice again.
So happy I came here when feeling the stress in my life and the strange nostalgic yearnings for a past before I 'had a problem' due to the recent lovely weather opening a picture of lazy sunny days wasted in beer gardens, fields, parks and anywhere with my friends (who I no longer have coz they were/are just drinkers) it's a wonderful place for me, sitting in the sunny garden with my cold coke listening to the singing birds and feeling amongst truly understanding
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 508
Feeling, at least, if not friends, you people (yes! YOU!) complement this area of my life where I need to be amongst the like minded folk here at SR... Ah, yes, that's the bit where YOU come in SR rocks better than a noisy beer garden' lol
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
Better when never is never
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
After reading the long thread yesterday, I decided I like the idea of having a single place to reflect on my recovery.
One of my biggest problems is my impatience with the healing process. I want to be better immediately - not a little bit, but all the way. Intellectually, I know that can't happen (the decision to quit can, but the physical and mental healing take time). I tend to focus on only the short-term progress I have made and struggle to consider all the progress I have made.
I need to remember some writing advice, that if I write one page a day at the end of a year, I will have written a complete novel. If I keep waiting for the perfect conditions to start writing, at the end of a year I will have an unfulfilled dream.
One of my biggest problems is my impatience with the healing process. I want to be better immediately - not a little bit, but all the way. Intellectually, I know that can't happen (the decision to quit can, but the physical and mental healing take time). I tend to focus on only the short-term progress I have made and struggle to consider all the progress I have made.
I need to remember some writing advice, that if I write one page a day at the end of a year, I will have written a complete novel. If I keep waiting for the perfect conditions to start writing, at the end of a year I will have an unfulfilled dream.
Better when never is never
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Just checking in. I backtracked a bit and had to do some modifications and remind myself of some basic truths. I had to wrestle again with letting go of old ideas about what is required for sobriety, but also do a deeper exploration of the full range of impacts my drinking has had on myself and others. I am doing really well at the moment.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Jazz,
I step away from this site often especially when I upset myself in response to other's posts. But I did read today and found your thread. I've been sober a good spell and it didn't become comfortable to me until I reprogrammed my thoughts on alcohol. RR helped me, but even if I put all thought of drinking on my AV, the thoughts were still there. It wasn't until I saw alcohol for what it truly is... A poison without a single real positive trait, that it became simple not to drink it. I have Alan Carr and Jason Vale to thank for my change in perspective. When I am around others drinking all I feel now is compassion for them as they are in the alcohol trap and don't even know it. I feel nothing but gratitude that I escaped.
I hope you find what you need to keep you sober and happy.
I step away from this site often especially when I upset myself in response to other's posts. But I did read today and found your thread. I've been sober a good spell and it didn't become comfortable to me until I reprogrammed my thoughts on alcohol. RR helped me, but even if I put all thought of drinking on my AV, the thoughts were still there. It wasn't until I saw alcohol for what it truly is... A poison without a single real positive trait, that it became simple not to drink it. I have Alan Carr and Jason Vale to thank for my change in perspective. When I am around others drinking all I feel now is compassion for them as they are in the alcohol trap and don't even know it. I feel nothing but gratitude that I escaped.
I hope you find what you need to keep you sober and happy.
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
Originally Posted by jazzfish
I have spent a lot of time bouncing between different recovery forums (both this site and others). What I have been finding is that the more time I spend in the halls of "recoveryism" the worse of I am. This is both in terms of time and ideas. I have been making an effort to shed many of the ideas I feel I had been (wrongly) conditioned to believe.
Ever since I started, I've kidded my wife that during/after these sessions you feel like you need to go out and drink immediately...not the kind of feelings you would expect or want from a therapy session.
I think I'll be spending more time here in Secular Connections as well...thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Hi Jazz and all.. wow love this to bits.. you all help this old lady so much.. my hubby is now off the morphine completely.. and we are dealing with the body trying to rebalance itself.. so Jazz prayers kiddo so many prayers.. hold tight for this group helps me to be centered and balanced.. and life Kids and Beans is just Nuts without sprinkles... love to all Ardy... German Fest in Milwaukee Starts today Guten Morgen to all...
Better when never is never
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Thanks, Ardy. I hope everything goes as well as it is able.
Toadie, thanks for the note. It has been more effort than I anticipated to shed the old thinking. I am in a good spot now. It's funny how has my brain heals and create uncomfortable or unfamiliar feelings, the beast always pipes up to drink and stop the discomfort. No way, it was the drinking that is causing the discomfort, not the quitting.
Toadie, thanks for the note. It has been more effort than I anticipated to shed the old thinking. I am in a good spot now. It's funny how has my brain heals and create uncomfortable or unfamiliar feelings, the beast always pipes up to drink and stop the discomfort. No way, it was the drinking that is causing the discomfort, not the quitting.
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