50!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,417
50!
50!!
I only count because I like to see the numbers going up, and the thought of them going back to zero is unfathomable. I have embraced Rational Recovery and AVRT, and my beast is now firmly locked in the basement, eyes dull, weakly rattling its neck chain once in a while, or lifting its heavy head to try and catch my attention, but its efforts are easily rebuffed. Because now I know what it is, and I know who I am, and it is unbelievable how much has changed in just 50 days. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind. This has been the most liberating 2 weeks (it was about two weeks ago when I GOT it, it just all clicked) and I have been brought to happy tears more than once recently just feeling the freedom. I am SO GRATEFUL I was able to learn that I could walk away from alcohol and not look back. It has NO power over me, because I will not allow it in my body. Each day, I wake up early and bright- glad to face the day. Can you even believe I just said that??? I hated days and mornings and myself for SO long I thought that was normal! I don't hate me anymore. My problems have not gone away (whose do?) but now they are not mountains- they are problems to be solved one way or another, which I will do. My body thanks me by looking and feeling better- and I thank my body by paying attention to it and caring for it rather than trying to kill it, one glass at a time. I am strong, I am positive. I am becoming the friend and daughter and partner I have always wanted to be- because I am present and participating. I have purged my life of friends who are not good for me, and am working on my relationships to make them stronger, deeper and richer.
I do things! I go places! I remember that I do all these things!! My memory is back to itself- it was a completely rough and scary ride there for a while. I was so afraid the damage was permanent. There are still days when I don't feel wonderful- but I recognize that for what it might be. I drank a long, long time and large amounts, I don't question that I will still have days ahead where I will pay for that. But those days don't last forever, and like I say about 10 times a day, "If I can quit drinking, I can do anything." Because I really, truly did not think it was possible.
We can all do this. Thank-you, SR, thank-you RR, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you.
Onward.
Lisa.
I only count because I like to see the numbers going up, and the thought of them going back to zero is unfathomable. I have embraced Rational Recovery and AVRT, and my beast is now firmly locked in the basement, eyes dull, weakly rattling its neck chain once in a while, or lifting its heavy head to try and catch my attention, but its efforts are easily rebuffed. Because now I know what it is, and I know who I am, and it is unbelievable how much has changed in just 50 days. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind. This has been the most liberating 2 weeks (it was about two weeks ago when I GOT it, it just all clicked) and I have been brought to happy tears more than once recently just feeling the freedom. I am SO GRATEFUL I was able to learn that I could walk away from alcohol and not look back. It has NO power over me, because I will not allow it in my body. Each day, I wake up early and bright- glad to face the day. Can you even believe I just said that??? I hated days and mornings and myself for SO long I thought that was normal! I don't hate me anymore. My problems have not gone away (whose do?) but now they are not mountains- they are problems to be solved one way or another, which I will do. My body thanks me by looking and feeling better- and I thank my body by paying attention to it and caring for it rather than trying to kill it, one glass at a time. I am strong, I am positive. I am becoming the friend and daughter and partner I have always wanted to be- because I am present and participating. I have purged my life of friends who are not good for me, and am working on my relationships to make them stronger, deeper and richer.
I do things! I go places! I remember that I do all these things!! My memory is back to itself- it was a completely rough and scary ride there for a while. I was so afraid the damage was permanent. There are still days when I don't feel wonderful- but I recognize that for what it might be. I drank a long, long time and large amounts, I don't question that I will still have days ahead where I will pay for that. But those days don't last forever, and like I say about 10 times a day, "If I can quit drinking, I can do anything." Because I really, truly did not think it was possible.
We can all do this. Thank-you, SR, thank-you RR, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you.
Onward.
Lisa.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
AWESOME !!
It does "click" doesn't it? It is like you can remember the seconds before you actually " get it" and the bam . Now you can not not know what you know( biggest anti-AV ammo on the market
)
Wish you well, and like you said getting it doesn't magically fix "life" , but it does magically fix your choice to drink , your Choice to Not drink
AWESOME, Onward!!
It does "click" doesn't it? It is like you can remember the seconds before you actually " get it" and the bam . Now you can not not know what you know( biggest anti-AV ammo on the market
)Wish you well, and like you said getting it doesn't magically fix "life" , but it does magically fix your choice to drink , your Choice to Not drink
AWESOME, Onward!!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Congrats Lisa on 50.
AVRT is a great method. I've used it some to get where I am. I would check out Vale's book too (see my thread) now that you have some sober time. I read it about 70 days into sobriety and my beast went from occasionally active to non-existent afterward. I no longer envy social and active heavy drinkers, I feel bad for them. Still trapped. We are free.
Time to enjoy life.
AVRT is a great method. I've used it some to get where I am. I would check out Vale's book too (see my thread) now that you have some sober time. I read it about 70 days into sobriety and my beast went from occasionally active to non-existent afterward. I no longer envy social and active heavy drinkers, I feel bad for them. Still trapped. We are free.
Time to enjoy life.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
That makes me smile down to my toes, Lisa, how wonderful! You understand now that getting sober can be an event, not a process. One moment you could not see your life without alcohol, and the next you have committed to do it, all of it, whatever that might be, without alcohol.
You are engaged in a most amazing act, you are creating a new life for yourself, Lisa. You are magic, and you are badass for making that decision to never drink again no matter what. You are free! Onward!
You are engaged in a most amazing act, you are creating a new life for yourself, Lisa. You are magic, and you are badass for making that decision to never drink again no matter what. You are free! Onward!
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