How did you "find" whatever type of secular sobriety you use?

[freethinking]

For me, my therapist had mentioned SMART and WFS a few times here and there after he saw how much I disliked certain aspects of AA (mainly the social). I have to say, it's kind of a relief to discover there are so many other people out there that have similar feelings and who are somewhat passionate/enthusiastic about whatever form of secular recovery they utilize. I had truly started thinking it was AA or nothing. Guess that's what 4 rehabs and almost 20 years of AA will get you! Wish I had known this was available sooner...

[Terminally Unique]

How did you "find" whatever type of secular sobriety you use?

I was in traditional treatment, getting the standard "ego-deflation" routine, which I fought tooth and nail. Finally, when I became somewhat of a nuisance, one of the counselors took me aside and had a little private chat with me. He said "look, we're not supposed to tell you about this, and I could get fired for it, so you didn't get it from me, but read this," and he handed me a copy of the "Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction" book.

This is why I give away what was so freely given to me. :-)

[SoberJennie]

I just looked for it... I looked for anything unrelated to and unaffected by AA. I live in AL so every place I went was AA and 12-Step oriented... I basically had to go online, use the internet and search for stuff. I also picked up the book Sober For Good by Anne Fletcher. Back in the days when I still bought books from actual bookstores and not online... LOL.

I recently just quit on my own... using nothing. I was just ready to let it all go. I wanted to experience life sober again. I don't regret it. It's been the best choice I've made as an adult.

[Supercrew]

I logged on here and started reading and researching and made it up as I went.

[checkmate1]

I have read Rational Recovery by Jack trimpey a few years ago and that is something I will never forget. Óther than that I don't really use any technique or type of recovery. I listen to some straight edge punk rock sometimes sXe. I am part of and active on Sober Recovery. I rest, take time out for myself, listen to my body, reflect and live life sober because I love it and that's how I want to do things from now on. I don't pick up that first drink. I'm 4 months sober and what I'm doing is seeming to work so I guess I'm just rolling with it. I also watched rain in my heart documentary which was a real eye opener and other doco's on alcoholism. I know what devastation alcohol can do and choose not to be a part of it. Also read a book called Dharma Punx that a member here reccommended and I could relate to his (Noah Levine) lifestyle and punk rock ideology.

[AnthonyV]

I use my own hybrid of SMART, mindfulness meditation, the nutrtuinal principles in the book "Seven Weeks to Sobriety", exercise and yoga. A clean diet, free of sugar and junk/processed food is important. There is a lot of nutritional information discussed on the forums on the website mywayout.org

[Vlad]

google

[jamdls]

I very quickly accepted the fact that alcohol was not an option for me and initially thought I needed outside help to stay alcohol free so I went to a few AA meetings and although I liked some of it I knew that meetings/sponsers/rituals weren't for me; I had done the majority of my drinking alone so I would recover alone, I just made up my own 'plan' utilizing a couple of the 'steps' along with a lot of self analysis and prayer; been working for me for 4 years next week.

[MycoolFitz]

I read a lot of recovery books and explored a lot of recovery methods and attended a lot of AA and finally ended up relying on my Dharma practice of about 20 years but this time sober. Also lifestyle changes such as a nutrition rich diet, supplements and exercize. As well as SR, of course. I couldn't be more satisfied. Thanks for the question.

[Morning Glory]

Here is a reminder for new members.

12 Step Programs are off topic for this forum and posts discussing 12 Step Programs will be removed.

Thanks,
MG

[Cerberus]

thanks for this post, freethinking. I am still making it up as I go along, too. I do tend to feel a bit weary here sometimes here on SR all of the AA talk. Even when people ask for alternatives in the regular forums, it feels to me like AA/12 step is still pushed. I am super interested in the AVRT and SMART ideas. but still pretty new in sobriety so checking out a lot of options. I'm glad i found this forum, finally

[BobGT]

Originally Posted by AVRT

I was in traditional treatment, getting the standard "ego-deflation" routine, which I fought tooth and nail. Finally, when I became somewhat of a nuisance, one of the counselors took me aside and had a little private chat with me. He said "look, we're not supposed to tell you about this, and I could get fired for it, so you didn't get it from me, but read this," and he handed me a copy of the "Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction" book.

That is scary in so many ways. Their attitude of "don't help someone quit now and forever, when they are paying us money on an ongoing basis" is unbelievably wrong.

[raindancer11]

I found SR while experiencing an awful hangover. Then began the struggle. Do I have a problem or don't I? After a few years of this, I read some posts of people who had quit by just quitting. I read back on how they did it and here I am. I had to let go of the struggle though and realize that I don't need wait for someone or some external definition to tell me I have a problem (packaged in the way I want to hear it) I just need to quit and never drink again.

[freethinking]

Interesting replies!

It does kind of blow my mind that after my last time in rehab nobody pulled me aside either and said "There's other stuff that can work too". It was more or less "It's our way or the highway" in the rehabs I went to.

I tried to edit my post last night to not mention the double A, but it was too late. FWIW, there is something I still like about those meetings....namely being surrounded by other people who drank like me and feeling some camaraderie in that. I've been to a SMART meeting too, and I liked that as well but they are obviously hard to come by. In general, I too drank alone and tend to feel the bulk of my recovery needs to be solitary as well and not dependent so much on others or a group.

I just got Trimpey's Small Book and like it lots so far!

[SoberJennie]

Good luck with it, freethinking! I firmly believe anyone can do it alone if they want to. I think it's quite simple... yes, I'm not trying to sound flippant and I definitely don't want to be disrespectful of those who've had a really hard time of it, or who are going the "recovery" route. But it's all in *how* you approach it, I do believe!

[Terminally Unique]

Originally Posted by freethinking

It does kind of blow my mind that after my last time in rehab nobody pulled me aside either and said "There's other stuff that can work too".

I notice that you said "last rehab," as in more than one. Relapses, and multiple re-admissions, are very lucrative. Anyone or anything telling people that they can quit unconditionally once and for all cuts into profit margins.

Originally Posted by freethinking

I just got Trimpey's Small Book and like it lots so far!

Note that AVRT was still in its infancy when he wrote that book. I do have the book, and found it interesting, but it only has a very short chapter on AVRT.

In the author's own words:

"Do not rely on the advice in The Small Book, as we no longer recommended it for people with serious addictions. I am the author of both books and can assure you that The Small Book, although well-written and interesting, falls far short in comparison to the later and better book, Rational Recovery."

[freethinking]

Yes, it is a lucrative industry, isn't it. The last one cost $30k (my insurance paid some at least). It was my 4th and last.

One line I do like in The Small Book so far is "Information does not work, fly dance or take any other action. It merely exists.".

I have the Rational Recovery book for me on hold at the library - will keep an open mind with The Small Book and also wait to see what the newer one is like in comparison.

[Zencat]

At first it was a library search that had me find 'The Small Book' and '16 Steps of Discovery and Empowerment' wile I attended the 'off topic' meetings for a live action commitment to addiction treatments.

Along the way of my continued practice to live drug/alcohol free life. I found out about S.O.S. then SMART, LifeRing and other sources of inspiration, information and instruction. I would latch on to anything that honored my world view.

[Terminally Unique]

Originally Posted by BobGT

That is scary in so many ways. Their attitude of "don't help someone quit now and forever, when they are paying us money on an ongoing basis" is unbelievably wrong.

Yes, informed consent is often missing from the addiction treatment/recovery ecosystem. In medicine, for example, while a doctor will recommend a certain course of action, they nevertheless have to also tell you what your other options are if they have knowledge of them. This is not the case with the addictions industry, though.

Some people have suggested that I over-promote RR/AVRT, but I honestly do not care one bit if people don't use it, I just want people to know that it exists. I do try to clarify what it is about, though, since I know from extensive personal experience that some people will either routinely and purposefully suppress information on its existence or misinform others about its nature.

[LaFemme]

It was a process. I am a nerd so when I finally realized I had a problem and couldn't stop on my own I started reading self help books which led to recovery books, add Internet searches to the mix and finally about 10 days into my sobriety stumbled onto SR and got a therapist by running into one I clicked with.

The process took me about 4-5 years.