New home

[steamvessel]

I think I am going to set up camp here for a while, been on this board for a while and have tried different approaches to sobriety, including AA. I've realized who I am though, I am a psychologist at heart and is actually what I majored in school, this is the avenue that motivates me. I want to focus on my motivations and on self-improvement, I've found AA to be as my therapist describes too "shame based". Whether it is true or not, it's not a way that I find helpful. The social support you get in AA on the otherhand, is unbeatable IMO. I truly think it works for a lot of people, it just doesn't inspire me. And inspired is what I need to maintain my sobriety. I prefer to look at things positively and get motivated for the future. This is what works for me. I hate thinking that I have this disease that I will always have, I really just think I am a drug addict like any other drug addict. Smokers are addicted to nicotine, alcoholics are addicted to booze. I want to move on from the past and look at things in a positive, motivating light, not with a spot light on all my issues. This isn't to say that I don't want to treat my issues, it's just a paradigm shift from the past to looking forward to creating my future. I think this may be a good spot for me so you will probably see me around a little more often in this section. Anybody read Allen Carr's Easyway to Quit Drinking book? It's kind of the way I want to look at things right now.

[steamvessel]

I errantly posted this in the 12 step section instead of the secular recovery section, until it has been moved, please disregard.

[LiveURLife]

Originally Posted by steamvessel

I hate thinking that I have this disease that I will always have, I really just think I am a drug addict like any other drug addict. Smokers are addicted to nicotine, alcoholics are addicted to booze. I want to move on from the past and look at things in a positive, motivating light, not with a spot light on all my issues. This isn't to say that I don't want to treat my issues,

i feel the same way... you say it so much better then i do though... so thank you...

[vegibean]

steam, I am totally feelin' ya too. I am not big on the meetings, I go but they are like swallowing that HUGE pill no one likes to take. I have a sponsor and a sponsee that I have worked the steps with.

Going to the meetings, for me, feels like I'm in one big bummer of a vent most of the time. I think the meetings I've enjoyed the most is when we've read from the Big Book and it was more like studying and a discussion....... kind of like here a little bit.

I think sobriety/recovery is like a pair of shoes. Everyone wants a pair but not the same as the next person. We're all still "different" in some ways.

[Zencat]

Welcome to the Secular side of SC.

Haven't read Allen Carr's Easyway to Quit Drinking book...yet, another one to put on my reading list. I do read and practice REBT/CBT as my main addiction treatment modality.

[tyler]

Welcome to the Secular Forum here on SR. I have not read the book you referenced, but am currently reading "The Heart of Addiciton" by Dr Lance Dodes. I'm about a 1/4 through it, and it is an intereting read. Kinda a hybred TA approach to recovery, as much as I can figure so far. Anyway, welcome!! Take care.

[Gypsy Feet]

Originally Posted by steamvessel

I errantly posted this in the 12 step section instead of the secular recovery section, until it has been moved, please disregard.

Haha good stuff=)

I just skimmed his (Carr) little book of quitting cigs (I quit long ago but it was on a coffee table). I found it to be pretty simplistic. Addiction is surely a strange beast. I find it fascinating that addiction is similar enough for thousands of people to have parallel results in certain programs, and yet different enough that you just never know which method will work for each person.

I have had at least 4 major chemical addictions in my life, and so far (knock on wood), have just walked away from each one when the time came.

Right now I am busy disassembling the me who needed to numb everything, and researching ways to come back together healthier and able to deal with life without needing to get loaded.

[windysan]

welcome to Heathenland

[Bamboozle]

Hello, steam.


Welcome to the dark side.

[Daisy09]

Welcome

[steamvessel]

Originally Posted by Gypsy Feet

Haha good stuff=)

I just skimmed his (Carr) little book of quitting cigs (I quit long ago but it was on a coffee table). I found it to be pretty simplistic. Addiction is surely a strange beast. I find it fascinating that addiction is similar enough for thousands of people to have parallel results in certain programs, and yet different enough that you just never know which method will work for each person.

I have had at least 4 major chemical addictions in my life, and so far (knock on wood), have just walked away from each one when the time came.

Right now I am busy disassembling the me who needed to numb everything, and researching ways to come back together healthier and able to deal with life without needing to get loaded.

His smoking book works if you buy into his philsophy, I quit in November after reading his book. The drinking one just adds a different perspective and gets you to think positively about sobriety, rather than feeling this dead weight of sobriety. It actually helps to think in that way because I found myself enjoying sobriety. I have recently relapsed and need to get back on the horse, I think having a positive attitude right now for me is key, I already know the ugly side there is no point in revisiting it.

[Pixy1]

Hey Steam

I seem to follow you from a distance lol

As you know the smoking book worked for me. I quit 12yrs ago!

The drinking book didn't work.

But having said that nor did the smoking book first time round. I stopped for a year and half then started again for a further 4yrs! However I woke up one morning and that was it! I didn't wan't to smoke any more! not had one since!

I truely believe the same will happen with drinking. I keep the book by my bed and will read it again when the time is right.

It may never come but I pray it does.

But for the time being I will try and live fully!

Good to see you steam

[jamdls]

Hi Steam, welcome we're not all heathens here....

[gneiss]

Originally Posted by steamvessel

His smoking book works if you buy into his philsophy, I quit in November after reading his book. The drinking one just adds a different perspective and gets you to think positively about sobriety, rather than feeling this dead weight of sobriety. It actually helps to think in that way because I found myself enjoying sobriety. I have recently relapsed and need to get back on the horse, I think having a positive attitude right now for me is key, I already know the ugly side there is no point in revisiting it.

Gonna have to check it out because try as I might I focus on the stuff about sobriety that I don't like. Like not being able to go out and chill at the bar with my friends. For a long time I really enjoyed doing that. Then I lost control of my drinking and it was all down hill from there. Thanks for the suggestion!

[Alera]

Welcome Steam. As you may have noticed, I went ahead and moved this post with a redirect so you can find this thread.

Just an FYI for the future:

12 Step Programs are off topic for this forum and posts discussing 12 Step Programs will be removed.

In the past we've had some problems with "program bashing" so its easier this way. Thanks for understanding and looking forward to hearing more about your secular recovery.

[mattcake79]

Hi Steam

I love the Carr book =) It gave me the final boost I needed last year, back when I was enduring sobriety instead of enjoying it; it really changed my perspective for the better. It's not a miraculous book nor a literary masterpiece, there's nothing in there you probably don't already know... yet, at least in my experience, it IS an enlightening read.

I've had a couple of slips in the past year, but I was very surprised when it dawned on me that I haven't binged or had a heavy relapse since reading it (there's still room for improvement, of course ). And... I can honestly say that Carr dispelled most of the myths regarding alcohol, at least for me. I re-read it on occasion.

Anyway, I'll stop raving. The book made a huge difference in my life.

[Dee74]

Carrs book is about the only non fiction non biographical book on alcoholism I've read.

It's flawed in many ways - but his ideas looking at what we think alcohol is doing for us, and then positing that against the reality, was really the first step for me.

D

[Freepath]

Welcome.
It's good to have you with us. This is one of the best forums on the internet!

[steamvessel]

Originally Posted by Dee74

Carrs book is about the only non fiction non biographical book on alcoholism I've read.

It's flawed in many ways - but his ideas looking at what we think alcohol is doing for us, and then positing that against the reality, was really the first step for me.

D

Yeah, you can't take it too seriously on it's content, it's kind of like a cub scout manual in a way, but it's got some great ideas and might help inspire one to think differently about alcohol if they are tired of always focusing on the negative and on their recovery, etc. It kind of gave me a bright outlook on not drinking, something I was enjoying doing and I found that inspiring.

[Dee74]

I took the content seriously - but not so much the 'but wait! there's more... in the next chapter' approach

It was simple and common sense based really - and like you say, positively inspiring - and I needed all that.

D

[spittake]

I, too, found the peer support and accountability AA offers to be invaluable when I couldn't break the drinking cycle alone. But, I reached a point where talking about the drinking and drugs I couldn't do anymore was making me want to do them.

I like this board a lot (dude, I'm here all the time! lol) b/c I can skip threads that are too specific about the substance abuse, and participate in tons of discussions that are specific about how to solve problems (or just ride em out). I can share about a lot of stuff here that is waaaay too stigmatized for parlor talk.

The social support is good here, too - I have a place I can come so I don't go around feeling like the lone escapist in a world full of the blissfully ignorant.

These secular folks are the best, btw.

[mattcake79]

Originally Posted by steamvessel

It kind of gave me a bright outlook on not drinking, something I was enjoying doing and I found that inspiring.

This is exactly why that book helped me SO much; until that point, most of the stories and accounts of recovery I'd read had scared me silly. Shifting my outlook from "sobriety implies suffering and deprivation " to "yes, it IS challenging, but doable and so very worth it" is what encouraged me to change. I started focusing on freedom, instead of wallowing and feeling deprived.

To be fair, the one thing that I extremely dislike about Carr's book is his -downright reckless - assertion that alcohol withdrawal is no big deal. He barely mentions getting medical advice at all. We all know that, no matter how much one sugar-coats it, withdrawal can be very dangerous.

[ananda]

haven't read the book...but you guys are insiring me

been feeling deprived lately...not the way to go..believe me

[Fishman33]

Hello and welcome!

[OzSandy]

I used to be on a forum that was founded by someone using the Carr approach in their professional practice. There were some who claimed to have attained long term sobriety with the method. I did read one of his books and think I concur with Dee74 here.

I should be able to and I've tried but I can't seem to get into traditional AA either, it doesn't resonate. I think that the group support may have been useful for me at one point, but the program itself doesn't seem to hold much for me. Right now I'm preferring to use a more 'holistic' approach to my recovery. And I've found a 60 day non 12 step online course which I'm considering undertaking.

Here in Australia, AA doesn't seem to be so predominant. There are very few meetings in rural areas such as where I live. I had to travel a long way into the city to attend.

There are AAs here who seem to be open minded and acknowledge other programs and conjuctive treatments, but several others I've placed on my 'ignore' list. I came here to seek positive and constructive help/advice, not to be told that unless I go to meetings and get a sponsor I'm not going to recover and am doomed to relapse - that line has always turned me off AA more than anything. I'm sorry to bring up this issue, I try to be neutral about AA and respect other people's programs, it's just not something I find appropriate advice for newcomers.