I'm Tired

[ananda]

well.....I'm really really gettting tired and discouraged. I'm having trouble believing it is ALL me, although I realize it is partly...

I've seen soooo much pure hatefulness going on lately. In secular, in the 12 step threads and even in Chat....Ive seen a number of posts that seem to encourage people to come to secular and either cause trouble or "save us from our non=AA ways", and I see secular participants responding to 12 step postings almost like there is a desire to stir things up. Jeeez I posted some little one liner stir the pot comment last week....and that really ticks me off at myself!

I hardly bother to post much....it just seems so pointless...like it isn't really going to be helpful to anyone and will probably simply cause more anger and bitter posting. I've gotten irritable and posted a few digs here and there...and that bothers me...so i try to just stay out of it as much as I am able to. But...it concerns me cause eventually that can lead to isolation rather than community which i think is a huge key to my sobriety.

I also posted to the womens forum, was going through a pretty rough time...and there wasn't a single response....of course my post was pretty much and F-you at the end...not a very good way to get people to respond with suggestions and support Like i said I know this is partly on me.

Even posting this feels wrong, cause just looking back I can see some arragance and some sorta taking other peoples inventory that I'm doing..

I'm utilizing PMs and participating when i can....some days i feel all i can post without it becoming a nightmare is...I'm sober today...

I guess i wanted to post about where i am at today just this once. I hope i havent said things in such a way as to be harmful to anyone or anything...I'm trying here..I really am.

[stone]

I hear ya.

[doorknob]

[Rowan]

Nands I hear you - loud and clear. I've gone through several ups and downs with regards to participation here at SR, lest I upset the apple cart. But, as they say, I can only share my own experience, and try not to take posts personally that seem to do otherwise.

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

[ananda]

sharing how i deal with a situation in sobriety is helpful...critizising how someone else deals with things in sobriety is not helpful.

I can critisiz till the cows come home and it doesn't give the person one single idea of other options.

I do the 12 steps and attend AA. However I am an athiest 90% of the time...

I am comfortable when i share the tools that work for me...some from AA, some from smart, some from just my own personal observations and expereince that seem to work for me.

I guess i talk about being godless in AA on the 12 step thread because i don't see a conflict with the program in doing that. I try to not talk directly about AA in secular because that seems to be of little value in supporting people here. Like i said i share the expereince, it doesn't have to be called AA to be of value. It can be secular in application.

I share quite a bit about AA in the 12 step secular section...well..it doen't get used much and doesn't seem to cause a problem.

[Rowan]

I share about AA, in the 12-step forums, because I am a member of AA. I do not make blanket statements about recovery methods I am not active in i.e. Lifering, Smart, etc.
I don't think it's helpful to stereotype any recovery method based on hearsay.

[allport]

What I don't get is why people who use only aa would come here unless it is to cause trouble or convert?

I know Ananda uses aa a lot but she doesn't push that view here.

I don't go to the aa or twelve step forums, why would I?

So if your intent is to share something that is helpful from a secular viewpoint then welcome and thankyou, if not, use a forum in which your views will be helpful and not inflammatory.

[Rowan]

I'm the last person who would try to convert people to use AA. I'm not sure I've ever shared here in Secular, I only did so to show support to Ananda, who is a friend.
My reply to Eroica was not intended to be inflammatory, not at all.
Ananda posted to share her frustration over this very topic, and it seems, to me, inconsiderate that anyone would use this thread as a vehicle for their own opinion.

[allport]

Rowan I didn't actually have your post in mind as inflammatory, this crap has been going on in here for a long time, and neither was I accusing you of trying to convert anyone.

I feel the frustration that lead Ananda to create this thread, it has gotten to a point that almost every thread posted leads to a 12 step against secular arguement, there is very little recovery talk and a lot of arguing.

It isn't helping anyone apart from the few who get their pleasure from having their say no matter what, it really is getting to breaking point for me because I feel that whatever I have to say is going to be picked apart.

This is a recovery site not the debating society.

[stone]

Originally Posted by allport

I feel the frustration that lead Ananda to create this thread, it has gotten to a point that almost every thread posted leads to a 12 step against secular arguement, there is very little recovery talk and a lot of arguing.

It isn't helping anyone apart from the few who get their pleasure from having their say no matter what

Exactly!

[Fubarcdn]

I have been sticking to the support threads for the reasons that Ananda mentioned and just came here this time to see what she had to say.
I am here for you Ananda so hang in.

[Fubarcdn]

Here is a good slogan for you Windy.

See the USA in a Chevrolet.

Probably before most of your times but it was big in the 60's.

[gneiss]

Slogan? Ooooh!! I have one:

This shall never

Come to pass

A backseat driver

Out of gas.

Try BurmaShave.

[gravity]

Well Ananda, just so you know...

Your ESH has helped me keep an open mind about AA and recovery in general. If I'm to be helpful to other alcoholics & people in my life, I need to respect where they are coming from.

I think that it would suck if we were all the same & held the same beliefs. No fun in that!

Anyway, thanks for your words.

[SelfSeeking]

I'm with you, ananda. Trying to just not post at all right now, and I'm not reading more and more threads. I'm just not finding this to be a very helpful recovery tool ATM. Considering sticking to f2f AA. I'm tired of dithering about labels and politics; it diverts my energy from plain old staying sober.

[jamdls]

I haven't done any type of formal program for recovery except I went to AA about a dozen times but it wasn't for me. I believe in God but I'm in charge of my sobriety, my life was not and is not unmanageable, my drinking was and I stopped that. I enjoy reading and responding to posts on SR and appreciate that my way doesn't work for everyone but I agree it is tiring to be told by some that I shouldn't share.

Judy

[Dee74]

I'm tired too.

I see so many agendas on the boards ATM, and not only in this forum.
Be that as it may. Can't control anyone else so they tell me...

I'm trying to focus on what I came here originally to do, way back in the dark ages - offer my experience and support. People really do come here for help.

Like Nands (and Self) a lot of that is via PM and email these days. I don't like it but it seems to be the best way for me to go right now.

D

[Gypsy Feet]

I love you guys, and I hope if I post something that is out of line someone will pm me and tell me. Ananda, I just deleted a post. I couldn't decide if it was helpful, or catty, so I just didn't post it (not on your thread dear=). There are people here who really are learning, growing, giving an getting support, and I am grateful to have found you all.

Dks recent thread drove me to hide in my Class of December thread for a bit, but you know what? As much as all that dickering sucked, it sure showed how many people were concerned with knobs well being. And hes still here Yay!

Anyway, Im sorry you got burnt out, but dont disappear completely, your needed.

[Lolajames]

ananda, for what it's worth: i think you're cool and don't stop what you're doing!

[windysan]

root root rooty toot we are from the institute

[Freepath]

I like to post on these forums, and I like the regulars in SC.

I know that some of the posts seem angry, and I’m sure there are people in the world who are opinionated. Somehow, even when people get angry, and sometimes especially when people get angry, the truth has a way revealing itself. It’s almost like a political debate where one side argues one way and the other side argues a different way, but when the argument is over, it almost seems that enlightenment has occurred somewhere. Not in one argument or the other, but in the discussion itself.

I believe that simply making this post is a positive coping mechanism. It seems to me when people observe that the world is filled with vile contempt, and they feel fed up and hopeless, drinking or using becomes a way to cope. Instead you have chosen to tell the rest of us how you feel, which is very positive, in my opinion.

[shockozulu]

Originally Posted by ananda

sharing how i deal with a situation in sobriety is helpful...critizising how someone else deals with things in sobriety is not helpful.

I can critisiz till the cows come home and it doesn't give the person one single idea of other options.

I do the 12 steps and attend AA. However I am an athiest 90% of the time...

I am comfortable when i share the tools that work for me...some from AA, some from smart, some from just my own personal observations and expereince that seem to work for me.

I guess i talk about being godless in AA on the 12 step thread because i don't see a conflict with the program in doing that. I try to not talk directly about AA in secular because that seems to be of little value in supporting people here. Like i said i share the expereince, it doesn't have to be called AA to be of value. It can be secular in application.

I share quite a bit about AA in the 12 step secular section...well..it doen't get used much and doesn't seem to cause a problem.

I really got a lot out of this post Ananda. I agree that there are many similarities between programs, and find insight in your ESH.

I also wish the 12 Step Secular section had more traffic.

[gneiss]

[hijack]

what's ESH mean? I never saw it until a couple days ago on here and google proved unhelpful. apparently it can stand for a lot of things.

[californiapoppy]

Experience Strength and Hope.

Ananda I've found that recently things have been a bit tiring, but I believe it's just a cycle we'll get through. I've always found your posts to be just fine, nothing snide or catty about them, but then again I don't go beyond SC in general. So please don't let anyone get you down, it will blow over soon !

[evmdimples]

Ananda, for whatever it's worth and not to oversimplify or make light of things, but it seems there was very strange energy yesterday, draining many along my path as well. I myself became exhausted after my f2f, where there was not only rampant cross-talk and fixing, but vivid displays of anger and pure hatred, people were actually proudly embracing their hatred, something that is incomprehensible to me in the recovery process (and as a budding buddhist!). My plan for self-care involved staying out of harm's way for the rest of the day. I also know how it feels when posts go unanswered, at first I resented it. These days, I see it as a test to see how I cope when my "usual" recovery tools aren't working or available. It helps me dig deeper into my recovery toolbox and find new and unexpected resources. And as I stay the course, good things still happen to me no matter what's going on "out there" or within me. Yesterday I realized that part of my self care is not only staying out of my own way, but also staying out of other people's way if necessary. Today is a new day, with new possibilities. I hope you are in a better place. I am enjoying these secular threads as I read up on buddhist thought and begin to understand the teachings at the core/spirit level. And you are an integral part of this community. Please forgive if boundaries have been overstepped. As usual, only take what you need, leave the rest. Be well!