Spiffy/Sucky Day....

[lunarise]

Just when you get all comfy...oh today is so great and thanks for this and Im thankful for that..you get run the fvck over.

...having a great day I repeat great.... these are new to me....and then the bomb hits...so angry you actually physically have to scream to keep from beating the cr@p out of the refrigerator. Hot shower to try and warm up and calm down...now my brain is mush..mushhh

...why cant things be a little consistent? just a little...? I dont think that is too freakin much to ask....

...I am amazed that as pis@ed as I am that I honestly dont want to drink...AMAZING!!

[gneiss]

Oh viv!

I'm glad you don't want to drink though. Because about the time my vacuum exploded on me today, sending dust into my eyes, nose, etc, I was ready to go drown myself at the Harbor (a local bar). Watched movies instead. And it wasn't a bad day, just little things got to me. You're doing well, I'm so proud that with big stuff getting to you you did not drink.

[ananda]

Sobreity for me is usually a very bouncy thing....i'll tell you how i feel, but check back in 10 cause it will change

Sometimes i think i like to tell myself i'm wanting to drink over the broken shoe lace, cause i'd rather deal with my feelings, and find the solution to the broken shoe lace than deal with the real garbage I'v brought to this moment in my life....I am the master of evading the real problem...denial????

And in the end....seems to me in this early part of my sobriety, the important thing is for me to remember to just not drink.....and yeah...i've had a lot of recent anger storms that i have amazingly had no desire to drink over

I think part of that may be from watching so many make the desision to drink..be it over broken shoestrings, or over something that IS a big deal...as i watch someone else's thinking twist and turn through all the gymnastics of justifying a drink.....it just makes it harder for me to buy off on the drinking part of my own solutions review panel.

...I am amazed that as pis@ed as I am that I honestly dont want to drink...AMAZING!!

Now THAT is a big fking deal (hug)

[lunarise]

Thanks guys...feelin less mental today....