Hello safe place!!

[SelfSeeking]

Just wanted to say how much I love and appreciate this lil community within a community, 12 stepper and big book reader though I may be.

[doorknob]

Me too!

[ananda]

I have thought about this some over the last couple of months. Of course I think the idea of a safe place is really an illusion, as life lived is inherintly..not safe

But I do have to make some choices about where I choose to spend my time and where I can best support and be supported is part of the decision.

SS...love to see you post on the secular 12 step thread as you work through the steps and AA stuff...always helps me.

I really don't run into problems within my f2f AA group and I have to remember that. Just got home from a wonderful supportive meeting and dinner with my home group

[doorknob]

SS, I'd like to read about it too. Even if I never formally work the Steps myself, I like the intellectualizing, lol...

[ananda]

DK..check your pms...we are waiting on you!

[Eroica]

Hi everyone. I used to go to AA meetings and read the Big Book front to back, but now I understand that although AA people are SUPER helpful and nice and have lots of great quitting advice, I just don't believe alcoholism is a disease at all (not counting severe cases), and I don't believe that our drinking problem has anything to do with morality.. For the most part, I'm a normal person who happened to get addicted to drugs and alcohol by continuing to make more bad choices than good ones. This is at odds with AA philosophy. Anyone can become an alcoholic if they drink enough alcohol.

Thats why I like this forum as well!

[desertdonna]

I don't know if it's a disease or not. I don't really care. I just know that I had it bad enough that it had to go. And there is struggle in early sobriety.

I love the 12-step threads and I love it here.

When I go to meetings I make a mental note to strip away any expectation or intellectualizing, offer no resistance, and just be present during my time there. Since I don't do AA-speak, I rarely share. But when I do it is always just a small personal anecdote, a thank you, or more secular encouragement. I can say I almost always come away feeling centered, and don't drink.

I don't have a sponsor and thus have not "worked" the steps. I may or may not, but would be open to the experience if I was inspired or felt really "stuck" for lack of a better word. I'll let you know if that happens.

I will most definitely say that I have come to have great admiration for the program. It has helped so many just in my limited experience, and it has certainly helped me. As I originally said awhile back, it's just so damn accessible and the true altruism is undeniable even with all the diverse personalities and inherent baggage. No one's every tried to trip me up, so I can't complain. It is quite the learning experience!

I know the thumpers would have my head, say I'm not really working the program, but I don't care. I don't consider myself a "dry drunk." On the contrary, the longer I am sober, take action, reflect and stay open, the more inclusive of everything in this big wide world I become. Everyone here on every forum has helped me. AA has helped me. Rational thinking helps me. Making sound choices helps me. And giving it back and lending support helps me.

AA probably won't be in my life forever...in one, two or five years from now will any us of still be posting on this forum? Who knows. It's just right now and I "take what I need and leave the rest."

I certainly won't post on any sub-forums that I have no experience with, that's for sure.

Love you guys,

Donna

[SelfSeeking]

Originally Posted by desertdonna

I certainly won't post on any sub-forums that I have no experience with, that's for sure.

?

[desertdonna]

I don't post on 12-step threads since I'm not working the steps. That's all.

BTW, SS, I think you have made outstanding progress. Good luck getting a new place to live.

Donna

[allport]

Im with Ananda on this I don't think there are many safe places in this world, anytime you are dealing with other people there is an element of risk (that sounds really negative doesnt it).

I think you can live life alone, choosing to avoid this risk, or you can use your judgement and put yourself out there in the company of people you believe understand you and wish only postitive things for you.

Its a new thing for me to open myself up in any way, not that I do much of that on SR, but I do feel that if I needed support the people who post here would provide it, so I suppose Im taking baby steps towards being able to feel safe out here in the big wide world.

Its not much but for me it feels like a big deal, Ive never even had the courage to post on any other forums, unless I was drunk.

Hope this makes sense, Im feeling a bit philosophical at the moment (i.e. confused) but I just wanted to express my gratitude for SR and especially the secular folks. x

[stone]

Good post Donna, I can relate, as we say in AA lol.

I have done the steps and have a sponsor...he is very thumperish and I was letting his attitudes dominate me...I only noticed it was happening recently and realised it was bad for me. I have made some boundaries (lol) and re-defined what I want from AA and feel more comfortable now.
I like the companionship and F2F support and the people, I am never gonna be totally "by the book" so I have stopped trying. I try to live within the spirit of the program, not by the letter of the program.
Steps 4 and 5 are about finding your defects and 6 & 7 are about working on those defects, I was getting to down on myself about my defects, I need some balance and to remember the good things about myself too.

Since re-evaluating my relationship with AA my recovery is stronger.

[Zencat]

Having discontinued my attendance at AA meetings along with as much discussion I can resist...(more like argumentation) of the 12 step AA practice..LOL, has made me a happy camper. I am thankful that I can attend f2f groups that practice CBT as a way to treat addiction, be it a disorder or disease is of no matter to me. Living with a drug addiction is nasty business at any rate and I need ongoing treatment. Then having a treatment that is a good match for me is of great value and reward.

I believe for myself, that having peers in recovery that honor and support my choice of a healthy personalized recovery program in groups is of great importance. I feel that here in the secular forum and I'm doing my best to respect the choices of others in their recovery too.

[desertdonna]

Originally Posted by stone

Since re-evaluating my relationship with AA my recovery is stronger.

I'm so glad it is better for you, stone. I don't count days really or do monthly chips, but fully support those that do. When they pass them around for the group I always deeply appreciate the inscription:

"To thine own self be true."

Zen, you are indeed fortunate to have a CBT group for support. Good for you.

Hugs,
Donna

[Eroica]

I think, like other great spiritual traditions of the past-Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, etc, the 12 Steps offer some practical advice-I would sum it up as "Be good if you want to feel good". lol But their place in the scientific and legal community has no place. Unfortunately, religion does creep into government, and AA dogma sometimes does get confused with real science and forced upon those who break the law.

[ananda]

I like going to a place like this where everyone is different and nobody cares! So nice!!!!!

I just get a kick out of others sharing what works for them be it from the flying spagetti monster or a doorknob!

thanks for all your support you guys!