I lied to them. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

msh58 · 03-28-2008, 08:23 PM

Today was a first for me. I lied to get out of going out and drinking.

Mentioned that the store i work in is closing, tonight was the night the whole crew was going out to a bar. Was also the official date that every person learned what new store they will be going to today.

unfortunately i had to petsit tonight, 5 cats and 2 dogs for relatives who live in a rural area about 45 minutes away, they're at the casino this weekend. I just wouldn't have been able to go out tonight because of that with a drive like that and make it home to get sleep to work tomorrow, besides putting the pets through that.

I have never lied to get out of drinking and rarely lie at all anyway, but i can't tell them and especially show them the truth if i went out and drank with them.

This is the strangest feeling tonight.

Have you have ever lied to protect your sobriety and what still remains of your life?

nolonger · 03-28-2008, 11:33 PM

(Couldn't figure out if the pet-sit thing was the lie or the truth.) As for minor lies to protect sobriety - definitely!

Be honest about the important things, to the important people, at the important times. Something like you mention here, at this early stage... is like an "honest lie". It doesn't matter.

msh58 · 03-29-2008, 12:39 AM

the petsit thing was my lie, sounded strangely truthful though didn't it? like possible?

i actually am petsitting this coming wednesday.

nan07 · 03-29-2008, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msh58

Have you have ever lied to protect your sobriety and what still remains of your life?

Yes, I have. I'm not a twelve-stepper and my attitude is that it's really nobody's business why I'm not drinking. In the beginning, I often said that it interfered with my sleep (technically, it did) and that's why I wasn't drinking. Nowadays, I just say I don't drink, but I don't think it's necessary to launch into a detailed account of why I don't drink...it's my business. Of course, those closest to me know why...but for regular acquaintances, they don't need to know all of my details. I say do whatever it takes to hang on to your sobriety, especially in the fragile first stages. Take care...

sailorjohn · 03-29-2008, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msh58

Have you have ever lied to protect your sobriety and what still remains of your life?

Yup, I'm know I did, and it's infinitely better than the lying I did to maintain my addictions. It is basically YOUR BUSINESS if you choose not to drink today. You don't owe anybody an explanation. Down the road, when you get a little more secure in your sobriety you may feel obligated to tell others, that will be your choice also. Good Luck.

nolonger · 03-31-2008, 04:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msh58

the petsit thing was my lie, sounded strangely truthful though didn't it? like possible?

Convinced me alright.

toad · 03-31-2008, 07:09 AM

A quote from a fellow Missourian:

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain

nolonger · 03-31-2008, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toad

A quote from a fellow Missourian:

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain

Hmm. Not sure. Have you seen "Liar Liar"? All the truth all the time would make life impossible...

miavin2 · 03-31-2008, 01:30 PM

heard this great quote the other day on NPR...

" if you speak TRUTH to POWER...power will react "

so if I speak to the POWER of my addiction...and say the TRUTH about whats going on with me today...that POWER reacts ...and sometimes adversely...

get another day clean...you deserve it.

Mv2

msh58 · 03-31-2008, 10:31 PM

toad, thats actually what i follow most of the time. My memory sucks so i'm honest to a fault usually.

Except where alcoholism intersects with the workplace and paying bills.

Eroica · 04-18-2008, 06:40 AM

Yes, I've had to lie to protect my sobriety. I don't feel guilty about it. Why should I? One the reasons we have so many people drinking in the first place is because of the media's glamorization of alcohol. Alcohol sux.

-Eroica

nolonger · 04-18-2008, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eroica

Alcohol sux.

Nah. Alcoholism sux.

Eroica · 04-18-2008, 03:52 PM

Yes, alcoholism is awful, but so is the belief that you need alcohol to have a good time, that binging is normal. If the other co workers were smokers, would msh have to lie that he/she can't smoke with them? I don't think there's anything really healthy about injesting poison. If heroin and cigarettes are bad, so is alcohol.

-Eroica

nolonger · 04-19-2008, 09:01 AM

I can see how people would find drink advertizing manipulative and slightly creepy (but all advertizing is kind of manipulative and slightly creepy, when you think about it - creating a little dissatisfaction in your mind... then saying "aha, you know what, my product can cure this dissatisfaction!")...

But alcohol is only a poison for alcoholics... For the majority of people it's a normal and healthy and pleasant part of life. Most people don't binge. There's nothing wrong with alcohol, only with abusing it, and there's not even anything wrong, for most people, with getting a bit drunk now and again. Even AA somewhere says "we don't even have an opinion about alcohol".

I am an alcoholic: I have an alcohol problem, but that's my problem.

JustMe1972 · 08-11-2008, 08:12 PM

I've taken to partially lying about why I'm not drinking. "Medical issues have me on the 'DL' for the foreseeable future". Eventually, people will just get used to me not drinking. It's actually true. Due to the fact that I had gastric bypass 2 years ago, the alcohol was killing off my liver at a much increased rate. Though it's not the only reason I had to quit.

dgillz · 08-11-2008, 08:32 PM

Early on, I would lie like a Persian rug to save my sobriety. Eventually I got to the point where I just tell people the truth, I don't drink anymore.

**Dee74** · 08-11-2008, 10:25 PM

wow a moldy oldie

yeah I used to - these days I'm up front....'I don't drink'.

I'm not rabid about it tho - can't think of any scenario offhand where 'I don't drink' wouldn't be appropriate or might upset people (altho I once did get berated for not toasting someone back in my drinking days lol) but I'd happily make up something if that proved to be the case.

D

beingjenagain · 08-12-2008, 10:19 AM

I think a lie to protect your sobriety early in is okay. I know that right now I am at a point that I just don't want to share myself and my story with everyone. Some people (esp coworkers) may never need to know. So you go on and keep pet sitting it is keeps you sober!

jimhere · 08-12-2008, 06:03 PM

Why lie? A simple "no thanks" works for me. I don't owe any one an explanation.
Jim

03-28-2008, 08:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
msh58 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 113	I lied to them. Today was a first for me. I lied to get out of going out and drinking. Mentioned that the store i work in is closing, tonight was the night the whole crew was going out to a bar. Was also the official date that every person learned what new store they will be going to today. unfortunately i had to petsit tonight, 5 cats and 2 dogs for relatives who live in a rural area about 45 minutes away, they're at the casino this weekend. I just wouldn't have been able to go out tonight because of that with a drive like that and make it home to get sleep to work tomorrow, besides putting the pets through that. I have never lied to get out of drinking and rarely lie at all anyway, but i can't tell them and especially show them the truth if i went out and drank with them. This is the strangest feeling tonight. Have you have ever lied to protect your sobriety and what still remains of your life?

03-31-2008, 07:09 AM	#7 (permalink)
toad Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: mountain grove, missouri Posts: 1,439	A quote from a fellow Missourian: "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." Mark Twain __________________ "Tet Vet" Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association Patriot Guard Riders 2007 Road King Classic 96 C.I. Six-speed Vivid black "God is doing for me what I could not do for myself"

03-31-2008, 01:30 PM	#9 (permalink)
miavin2 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 59	the truth heard this great quote the other day on NPR... " if you speak TRUTH to POWER...power will react " so if I speak to the POWER of my addiction...and say the TRUTH about whats going on with me today...that POWER reacts ...and sometimes adversely... get another day clean...you deserve it. Mv2

08-11-2008, 08:32 PM	#16 (permalink)
dgillz Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Mobile, AL Posts: 3,459	Early on, I would lie like a Persian rug to save my sobriety. Eventually I got to the point where I just tell people the truth, I don't drink anymore. __________________ He should be fine...if he survives the detox process that is..... Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine".

08-11-2008, 10:25 PM	#17 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,620	wow a moldy oldie yeah I used to - these days I'm up front....'I don't drink'. I'm not rabid about it tho - can't think of any scenario offhand where 'I don't drink' wouldn't be appropriate or might upset people (altho I once did get berated for not toasting someone back in my drinking days lol) but I'd happily make up something if that proved to be the case. D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

03-28-2008, 11:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
nolonger Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: . Posts: 299	(Couldn't figure out if the pet-sit thing was the lie or the truth.) As for minor lies to protect sobriety - definitely! Be honest about the important things, to the important people, at the important times. Something like you mention here, at this early stage... is like an "honest lie". It doesn't matter.

03-29-2008, 12:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
msh58 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 113	the petsit thing was my lie, sounded strangely truthful though didn't it? like possible? i actually am petsitting this coming wednesday.

03-31-2008, 10:31 PM	#10 (permalink)
msh58 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 113	toad, thats actually what i follow most of the time. My memory sucks so i'm honest to a fault usually. Except where alcoholism intersects with the workplace and paying bills.

04-18-2008, 06:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
Eroica Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Htown, baby! Posts: 384	Yes, I've had to lie to protect my sobriety. I don't feel guilty about it. Why should I? One the reasons we have so many people drinking in the first place is because of the media's glamorization of alcohol. Alcohol sux. -Eroica

04-18-2008, 03:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
Eroica Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Htown, baby! Posts: 384	Yes, alcoholism is awful, but so is the belief that you need alcohol to have a good time, that binging is normal. If the other co workers were smokers, would msh have to lie that he/she can't smoke with them? I don't think there's anything really healthy about injesting poison. If heroin and cigarettes are bad, so is alcohol. -Eroica

04-19-2008, 09:01 AM	#14 (permalink)
nolonger Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: . Posts: 299	I can see how people would find drink advertizing manipulative and slightly creepy (but all advertizing is kind of manipulative and slightly creepy, when you think about it - creating a little dissatisfaction in your mind... then saying "aha, you know what, my product can cure this dissatisfaction!")... But alcohol is only a poison for alcoholics... For the majority of people it's a normal and healthy and pleasant part of life. Most people don't binge. There's nothing wrong with alcohol, only with abusing it, and there's not even anything wrong, for most people, with getting a bit drunk now and again. Even AA somewhere says "we don't even have an opinion about alcohol". I am an alcoholic: I have an alcohol problem, but that's my problem.

08-11-2008, 08:12 PM	#15 (permalink)
JustMe1972 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: MA Posts: 19	I've taken to partially lying about why I'm not drinking. "Medical issues have me on the 'DL' for the foreseeable future". Eventually, people will just get used to me not drinking. It's actually true. Due to the fact that I had gastric bypass 2 years ago, the alcohol was killing off my liver at a much increased rate. Though it's not the only reason I had to quit.

08-12-2008, 10:19 AM	#18 (permalink)
beingjenagain ever closer... Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Greensboro, NC Posts: 362	I think a lie to protect your sobriety early in is okay. I know that right now I am at a point that I just don't want to share myself and my story with everyone. Some people (esp coworkers) may never need to know. So you go on and keep pet sitting it is keeps you sober! __________________ BeingJenAgain

08-12-2008, 06:03 PM	#19 (permalink)
jimhere Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pugetopolis Posts: 2,392	Why lie? A simple "no thanks" works for me. I don't owe any one an explanation. Jim

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