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05-10-2007, 05:20 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Big Idiot Man Child  Join Date: May 2004 Location: La
Posts: 5,774
| I didn't pick up a chip.
For 3 years I picked up a "chip" at the local AA on my anniversary. AA helped me through the early part of my recovery from dope and I thank AA for the help. I picked up my 30 day chip, my year chip, 2 year, and 3 year. I stopped going to meetings about a year ago due to me being too stupid to understand higher power stuff, the program, and whatnot. The meetings started being flooded by sleepy drug court folks needing to get papers signed. There was a lot of dope floating around the meetings when I left. As an occasional drinker I felt like picking up a chip for not doing dope for 4 years would be against the program's policy of no mood-altering substances of any kind. My anniversary came and went and I didn't feel bad not picking up a chip. Every now and then I'll be having a beer in a restaurant and I'll encounter an AA person. Kinda makes me feel weird because I know that the recovering drunks can't have a drink. They immediately eyeball the beer and I can tell they're uncomfortable. They immediately ask, "how are you doing'". I do my best to say that I'm fine...........I guess I try to look like I'm ashamed for being "out there". I don't really want to say that I'm actually fine(which I am). It is weird. There is this gal(a hot one) who saw me with a beer and said that AA is always there for me. All I could say was "thanks".....trying my best to look like an ashamed loser. Anyways, I'm happier than I've ever been in my life and I'm glad that I was able to change my behavior. That's all I reckon. Thanks for listening. Keep coming back.
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05-10-2007, 05:33 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 363
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Windy, Congratulations on your 4 years! That is quite an accomplishment. You're doing well and you're happy, all any of us can hope to aspire to. You're a winner, no need to pretend you're a loser Keep well Ron
__________________ 'tis nobler to be sobler... |
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05-10-2007, 08:21 AM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Member  Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: UK
Posts: 1,373
| Quote:
__________________ It all works. It IS simple Miss C Give up hope of a better past. | |
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05-10-2007, 01:13 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 56
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Congratulations on four years. That's a lot. I understand/don't understand about pretending to look ashamed. I know why you do it for them, but wonder about why you do it for you (if that makes any sense at all). |
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05-10-2007, 03:11 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶  |
Windy, Excellent job on being clean and free of dope. Sorry couldn't find a chip …so here’s a key chain/chip kinda deal. (MG ~ Egads’ that Zippy looking thing is WACK….. Yow!) “ I thought I was a crankster gangster, but in reality I was a tweekster geekster” ~ Zencat.
__________________ My ❀ Name ☯ Is ❤ Will G ☞  禅 “Our minds are information vacuums. Either we fill them with thoughts of our choosing or someone else will.” ― Ray Davis Last edited by Zencat; 05-10-2007 at 03:14 PM. Reason: because the sky is blue |
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05-10-2007, 04:52 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| To Life!  Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,303
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YEA, Windysan!!!  That's quite an accomplishment! I'm so dang happy for you!!! And I'm very grateful that you are a source of hope and an inspiration to so many of us!  Shalom!
__________________  IMAGINE |
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05-10-2007, 11:01 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Huntington's Disease Awareness  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Cook County, Ill
Posts: 2,594
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4 years? Big congrats here. I can't make nifty graphics like others here so I hope you will just take my gratitude for having you here in Secular Connections.
__________________ Copyright © 2005 - 2012 Shockozulu |
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05-11-2007, 06:15 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Posts: 847
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Well good for you for not ...drinking out of control?... for 4 years? Hehe. Seriously, if that is your goal now, then congrats. Your post confuses me, though! You know that AA is a program of total abstinance. Right?? So here's where I'm confused. "As an occasional drinker I felt like picking up a chip for not doing dope for 4 years would be against the program's policy of no mood-altering substances of any kind." Alcoholics Anonymous has no explicit policy pertaining to mood-altering substances, especially if prescribed. However, Alcoholics Anonymous is an abstinance-based program in which members pick up chips for various periods to celebrate those periods of time without consuming alcohol. So... You'll have to color me "stupid" this time. lol I guess I am confused as to what exactly you have been thinking AA is all about. |
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05-11-2007, 01:03 PM
| #12 (permalink) |
| On a tear  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,240
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Thanks for your post, Windy. I admire your honesty and can understand the feelings you have around the whole singleness of purpose and reasons for not attending. Your experience is different from mine, but I love the way you present it in such a way that I feel no need to defend MY experience. You rock. Congrats on the 4 years!! ((((Windysan)))
__________________ No matter how spoiled the past may be, our future is spotless.... BigSis |
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05-14-2007, 02:08 PM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| Big Idiot Man Child Join Date: May 2004 Location: La
Posts: 5,774
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05-16-2007, 09:16 AM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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Four years is great Windy and I wish you a big congratulations, it's your acheivement and nobody can take that away from you
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté  |
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05-16-2007, 02:32 PM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
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I think I may try to stand here beside you for awhile, dude...if you don't mind having some company, that is... Congratulations on 4 years clean... Personally, I'm standing at a crossroads...Suppose it deserves a post all of it's own... I'm still clean, but last weekend..I didn't fall, but I jumped off the wagon. Intentionally on purpose. I had a few drinks to celebrate a specific occasion. I understand the "guilt/no guilt" concept. I didn't drink and drive or go looking for my drug of choice... I didn't get smashed. I had 2 drinks on Friday...and 4 wine coolers on Saturday. It was my daughters 21st birthday and graduation party. I had a really good time. Now I suddenly feel like I don't belong here anymore...but I'm still clean from dope... and I'm still a coda... I took my clean for multiple years key fobs off of my ring... Vowing to stay clean from methamphetamine..... but not going to say that I'm ready to never have another drink again. Maybe I'm delusional...maybe I can't do it my way, but I guess I've gotta try it my way for awhile.
__________________ There's no gram like the program |
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05-16-2007, 02:59 PM
| #17 (permalink) | |
| Not all better, getting better  | Quote:
Don't ever think you don't "belong" here. There is room for everyone. Your way may not be the way for others, just as their way may not be for you. That is what I love most about SR, all are welcome. Stick and Stay!! Take care.
__________________ Peace and Love, Tyler "I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it so a little got more and more. I just keep tryin' to get a little better, said a little better than before." Mr. Brownstone G-n-R Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh  | |
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05-16-2007, 06:19 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 363
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Cindi, yes you belong here. Please stick around. I've had over a year of successful recovery doing it my way, and it sounds like you have several years. Congratulations. Recovery is a personal thing we define for ourselves, and we all find our own path for it. Don't feel bad for enjoying your weekend. Be comfortable with your recovery. You've avoided your DOC and I'm sure you've had plenty of good things happen in your life because of this. You were able to enjoy your daughter's b-day and grad for instance. I think you're doing just fine with your choices. Keep well Ron
__________________ 'tis nobler to be sobler... |
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05-16-2007, 06:25 PM
| #19 (permalink) |
| get it, give it, grow in it  Join Date: May 2007 Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,165
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Maybe the true message is that you showed up for your daughter's very special celebration. Today is a new day in recovery and that includes keep building and repairing healthy family relationships.
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05-18-2007, 07:09 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: martinsburg wv
Posts: 30
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I too am at a turning point. I put together and implemented a comprehensive cutting edge recovery program on 1-1-07. It was the first time in my life that I tried to stop for myself. I really threw everything I had into it and still could not do it. I can not seem to get far enough along in the recovery process where using seems less and less attractive that I just quit for good. I picked myself up and started over. But one starts to wonder if a harm reduction approach isn't a better goal. I know that it is heresy in the recovery movement and abstinence for most addicts should remain the goal. Each individual person has to decide for them selves the path they wish to travel. Sounds like you used common sense and practiced harm reduction by not drinking and driving. I think the overall trend of ones recovery is what needs to be worried about, if it works it works. I think its not so much what you are not doing but what you are doing. I don't listen to some in recovery when they push the insane and inhumane idea that people need to totally destroy their lives before they can recover. You might want to check out the book "sober for good", by Ann Fletcher. There is a chapter on moderation and some people who were serious alcoholics who are able to drink at special occasions and celebrations without returning to addiction in the long run. She in know way sugar coats or promotes moderation but found it far more prevalent than society acknowledes. Best of luck on your path.
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