Monster Craving

[LadyJane666]

I had a MONSTER craving tonight.

It lasted an hour, I thought my head was going to explode and I had the whole thing planned right down to how I would hide the hangover tomorrow.

After an hour of distraction it passed and I feel fine now. Until the next craving. It's so scary though! When will this stop? Ever?

But - what gives me hope is that the craving has genuinely passed for tonight and I will have kept away from the demon drink for another day.

Me: 1 Monster: 0

[BrandiK]

Great way to keep score!!!

My monster sucks-well, you know. Sometimes it's just the feeling I crave. But the other day I craved my drink, and it's happened a few times since. I wanted to so bad that I thought I was going to die from it. I've done that too...planned everything out then just stalled it away.

Great job! If you figure out the trick to making it dissapear, let me know.

[LadyJane666]

Hi Brandi

Thanks for that. What I find is helping at the moment is trying to be chilled about the Monster and not going into major Drama Queen (DQ) mode of "Oh no! I'm having a craving! What if I drink, what if I don't?" (you know how it goes). Just trying to breathe, chill, relax.

I'm seriously thinking of taking up knitting. But I'd probably get addicted to it, end up covered in wool and having the handicraft shop on speed-dial.

Best wishes
Jane

[BrandiK]

LOL I crochet!

Recently I have just been trying to learn new things. Getting into some deeper books, opening my mind, etc. Seems to keep my busy brain occupied.

That, and I seem to post. A lot.

[brians]

Try going to meetings AA/NA and calling your sponsor or some one else in the program. Keep posting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

[Mongo]

Those monster cravings do indeed go away.

Distracting them, as you did, helps.

Hmm..Knitting doesn't sound so bad.

Ron

[historyteach]

Distracting yourself is an excellent tool!
Doing so changes whatever behavior you are doing that may, (or may not), have triggered your craving.
When we change our behavior, we change our thinking. Mind and body are linked in ways we do not fully understand.
So, keep up the good work!

Tell us what you did to distract yourself. It may help others!
And can you think of other things to do too?
When I quit smoking, I planned what I would do when I knew I'd be hit with a craving. I am certain it helped me stay smoke free for One year, one month, four days, 14 hours, 14 minutes and 5 seconds. That's 15983 cigarettes not smoked, saving $4,395.52. Life saved: 7 weeks, 6 days, 11 hours, 55 minutes.

Keep up the good work!


Shalom!

[LadyJane666]

What I did to distract myself this time was have a couple of sugary drinks, eat dinner and read a couple of stories to my youngest son. I also concentrated on taking deep breaths trying to chill.

I find when I am in the middle of a craving my head pounds, neck gets stiff and I feel a bit breathless.

I'm thinking jigsaws and knitting could be other mindless, gentle tasks that would require just enough concentration to get me through.

Best wishes
Jane

[LadyJane666]

This is no way to live.

Some days I don't think about alcohol and others I'm just hanging on for grim death.

Today has been hour by hour since about 3pm (it's 10pm here). Yesterday was a breeze and the day before was just like today - hard.

When will this pass? I hate dealing with life without a bottle or 2 of wine at the end of the day. But more than I hate that I loathe and fear drinking alcohol.

But there's nothing wrong with my life that I can identify - lovely kids, nice home, a job I enjoy. I don't get it.

Sure I get p*ssed off at the kitchen being messy or someone taking my parking space but it's like I can't take any level of p*ssedoffness without wanting a drink.

Argh!

Best wishes
Jane

[LadyJane666]

I feel much better now, the craving has passed again. Phew.

I had a hot shower and cried rather loudly. Jolly therapeutic it was too!

Which puts me in mind of one of the last times I got drunk. Since I drank at home alone I had only myself for amusement and would occasionally pass the time by crying in front of the mirror. I call it recreational melancholia.

One morning I woke up with eyes almost swollen shut realising I had had another mirror evening. I thought hard to remember what had upset me so very badly.

Gradually, gradually it came back to me.......

what had upset me was my lifelong fear of chickens.

No word of a lie.

Best wishes
Jane

[GlassPrisoner]

There's a darker side to chickens, you know......

Hang in there.

I am thankful I don't have to endure cravings such as your anymore.

[Mongo]

Have you read this thread?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-program.html

Only our reactions to cravings can make us drink. Planning for our cravings and triggers may sound silly but it can really make a difference. Taking a shower, eating a snack, or drinking something non alcoholic helped me. Often I found that even being thirsty would trigger a craving, and having some juice or water made it go away. Anxiety was a huge trigger for me as well, but the longer I abstained, the less anxious I was.

Sounds like you're doing well. Best wishes.

Ron

[historyteach]

I find when I am in the middle of a craving my head pounds, neck gets stiff and I feel a bit breathless.

I'm wondering if you are having minor panic attacks?
It wouldn't be unusual, ya know.
Have you spoken to your doctor?

That was a good thread, Mongo. Thanks for pulling it up!

Shalom!

[LadyJane666]

Hi Ron

Thank you for that, I'll read through it carefully. One point in particular stood out:

• ‘Surf the wave”—urges are time-limited. Just wait.

I'm amazed that it's true but it seems to be.

You're right that only our reactions to the cravings can make us drink. I need to remind myself to stay cool and remember that the craving by itself is completely powerless to topple me.

I know that my main trigger is feeling "crowded" by my kids. I've been so used to absenting myself with a bottle of wine.

Back on track again, and cheers to another booze free day.

Thanks and best wishes
Jane

[BrandiK]

1. I cried in the mirror too...want to know my silly tear-fest once? Honest, I am telling the truth.
My fear of cows. Nice to know I am not alone.

2. Kids are a trigger for me too, and how can one run from that? I did the same thing, absented myself from them by drinking. Every day is a new challange. We are learning about each other with out alcohol. I learned I let them get away ith a great deal- they are learning they no longer can get away with anything!

[LadyJane666]

Hi Brandi

I wonder if the mirror-crying is restricted to women. I once met a guy who confessed to it but I think he was just trying to impress me.

Cows are an understandable fear they would probably stab you with their fluffy tail if you took your eye off them. Sheep too - they might suddenly leap at you repeatedly and suffocate you with their woolly coat.

There is also the one about people accidentally thinking you're dead and burying you - I definitely want a bell kept above ground to guard against that one. Doesn't Marilyn Monroe have a bell? Someone famous does I've heard.

Best wishes
Jane

[nolonger]

Hi Jane, hope you're doing OK and the cravings are abating. The mirror-crying thing is interesting. The mirror is the key thing, maybe. Drinking alone opens the floodgates for all sorts of odd narcissism. I used to send myself long, miserable, maudlin emails, which gradually turned into nonsense as I got drunker.
The way I think/thought about cravings: A craving is not necessarily a craving for a drink. It's just a big old empty ache, so fill it up with something else, like Mongo suggests.
peace, nl.

[LadyJane666]

Hi Nolonger

Thank you for that. Narcissus, as we know, wasted away staring into his own reflection. Just like I wasted myself staring at mine. See, knew I was incredibly important even the Greeks wrote about me! (Just kidding).

I love (I know it's sad really) the fact that you sent maudlin e-mails to yourself - did you set up separate e-mail accounts in order to receive them and reply to yourself? I used to set up online dating accounts (and pay for them - covering one eye to combat double vision) and send myself e-mails telling me how much I fancied me and would be honoured to meet me. I would then excitedly switch to the other account in great excitement to read my own e-mail to me.

But - I think you have hit on something I might be able to use. I love the Greek gods and Greek mythology and even learned to read and speak (to some extent) Greek. I'm thinking I could perhaps convert HP (for me) to Sisyphus who has an unending task. Sisyphus is kind of depressing though as he never reaches the top of the hill.

Best wishes
Jane

[GlassPrisoner]

I prefer Dionysus

[LadyJane666]

Or Priapus?

[paulmh]

Notice the way this thread stopped dead, right there?

POint of information, Priapus is traditionally considered a lower power.

[LadyJane666]

Is he a lower power? He just makes me laugh with his wheelbarrow. What about Dionysus? The thread might have stopped there.

[BrandiK]

Well now, you might be on to something here. I dont know my greek as well as I once did, but since your going down the track (Dionysus, you crack me up!) I always liked Pan! (Pan Pan he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!)Ever hear that song buy Cake, sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell?
heck..why not really have fun and bring on Hades or Chaos? Maybe a little Artimis...mix it up a little! Just leave Zeus out of it, he's got a big enough ego lol

wow...I am so totally sober ... just a goof ball I guess. Well..funny to you or not, I had a blast writing it

[nolonger]

This is a hilarious thread. What a violent, nasty lot the Greek gods were, though sort of lovable too. When I was a kid and read the stories (in childrens' book English - I never learned Greek, unlike you scholarly mob), Hera used to scare me sh**less. Tough woman, she was.

Jane - I never got as elaborate as you in my drunken self-love - just used all the same email address. Lack of imagination, I guess.

[windysan]

After kicking for the last time I never had monster cravings. I was so sick and to the point of death there toward the end. Sure I've had fleeting thoughts about doping but nothing I can call a craving. I was so glad it was over. I hope you can get past the craving. Doping ain't worth it.