INgal

I didn't realize this forum (secular f&f) existed. So happy to connect. I have tried AlAnon but my local group just didn't work for me. I kept hoping I could latch on to something meaningful but it was only just skimming the surface. After 20 minutes of the intros, recitations, etc, we would study one step or tradition and then go around the room interpreting it. I could shut out the overly religious talk but I just wasn't connecting. Everyone seemed to talk in general terms as if they didn't want to touch the personal stuff. I realize the anonymity is part of AA and it's a great thing, but I think I need something more concrete.

Anyway, I'm glad I found this forum and the entire site. It has gotten me through some very dark times.

I'm in the process of reading the Codependent No More book. I can relate to nearly 90% of the traits. My problem is putting into action. It also is fairly religion-based so that part is not particularly helpful.

I do realize that I personally need help moving forward as well and actually found a Humanist psychologist with whom I will be making an appointment.

Thanks for listening!

BlueChair

Welcome INgal.

I cant remember exactly when this forum was created maybe a year ago. We share everything here except 12 step is off topic. So please feel welcome.

I bought the codependent no more book after I heard about it here on SR. I like to read, and when my husband first got sick with his addiction I started reading a lot because I had no background with dealing with it.

I could relate to some things in the book, but I also had trouble because I felt many of the things addressed were normal behaviors actually it just depended on how far you took them as to whether or not it became harmful to me. Does that make sense?

Id like to hear about the Humanist Psychologist. How is she ? I went to see an individual psychologist for a while and my husband and I still do Family therapy periodically. I was scared at first to see one, but it helped me a lot when things were so crazy in my life.

Also, we kinda use the "All About Me" thread for checkin and chat. Feel free to stop in there anytime say hi, or share about your day.

sauerkraut

Hi INgal,
I've found this discussion board helpful and in tune with my world views and needs, too. I share your issue with putting change into action, as well. It's becoming more and more clear what I need to do to get off my own, personal, rollercoaster, but stepping off isn't so easy.
In any case, welcome.

INgal

Thank you, Blue & Sauerkraut! I will check out the All About Me" thread. I have not been to the Humanist psychologist yet, but will definitely post my experience.
I also couldn't agree more with your book observation. Yes, some of the actions are quite normal. My problem is I HAVE taken them to the extreme and my entire family knows it. Even my AS says I need to get a life a stop worrying about him.
We go to family counseling once a week at my son's IOP and have learned quite a bit but I think I need the one-on-one to make some sort of breakthrough.

cleaninLI

Welcome Ingal!

I came to SR for my own addiction to painpills. Have been inrecovery for over two years. But I'm also a family member too. My bio father was a chronic alcoholic who ended up homeless and died an early death at age 50 because of his disease. My adoptive mom was an ACOA and NPD. My brother was killed in a car accident....our cousin was the driver and he was very drunk. He lived....but is in a terrible place due to his guilt. My nephew is an addict and my eldest brother (his father) is a huge enabler. Unfortunately, alcoholism/addiction has impacted my life immensely.

So nice to meet you!

allforcnm

Ingal.