Tiredofdrugs

Allfor: I don't know why I haven't thought of this before? Does your son like "Spider Man"? He could be relating the bathroom spider to the Spider Man! This could be his fascination over it!

I knew you weren't serious over your son growing up! LOL I saw the "NOT" after the sentence. Had to pull your leg a little on that one!

While waiting on my meds to be filled there was an older man talking to me about having the Shingles multiple times! ARGH! He said he took the vaccine after the first round of them and is still getting them. I just groaned! I shared my methods with the home stuff I used and he wrote them down. He said he'd put them to use on the next round! I also found out to make sure a person should use the words - Shingles - before saying they were taking this medicine. It's also used for herpes! DOH! I decided to go on in to be seen because I've had other areas itching! Nothing appearing! Just itching. And then this morning I had one little sore appear on my stomach!

My daughter had an eventful night last night! I'll share! ,,,,,,, She started her text with: Good morning! Nightly events reminder! Half asleep thru all this.... Log and throwing up at 0145. Get carpet cleaner ready and clean up. Go back to bed 30 mins later. Thought I heard something outside. Turned alarm on from phone. Still kept hearing some damn thudding sound. Get up. Go down stairs. Forgot alarm was on. Let the dog out. Delayed entry alarm went off. I put ------ in. Wrong code. zzzzzzz's Put ----- in. Turned alarm off 10 mins later cops are ringing my door bell.....first code I entered is the silent help me I'm in duress code!!!! And I'm still hearing thudding outside! Handle that situation. Go back to bed. My son is back up puking some more! Soooooo? I'm taking leave today!

I couldn't help laughing thru the oh no's while reading this after getting up this morning! I asked if he was okay and also if she had her Jammie's on when she answered the door for the cops? She and I both talk with laughter and kindness in our voices with each other and everyone else! We've both had too much drama in our lives and just want to be content in our lives! It's just who WE are! I told her with what happened a couple of Christmas' ago and now this? Her address is on their radar! She agreed laughing about it all. They were away and a very drunk man ripped the screen off their window/broke the window and tried breaking in. He lived down the street, but thought he was locked out of his own home. He wasn't wearing any pants either! Their neighbor saw it happening and called the cops before the alarms went off.

And to continue with the interesting things happening? I thought y'all would get a kick out of this! My SD sent this to me!



TOD

PinkCloudsCharley

oh Tod, sorry to hear it is shingles My manager's wife has had shingles over 15 times now. She has a very low immune system due to some health complications, and she just can't seem to get rid of that germ. It attacks her every time her immunity is weak. I hope you are able to build up your immunity after this!

Today's is my manager's last day. I was going to call in sick, I am horrible at goodbyes, but I think i'll just sneak out at the end of the day. Is that rotten of me? He has always reminded me of my dad, and it kind of feels like I'm losing my dad all over again. We're all supposed to go out for drinks after work, but I think i'll use the "have to pick my son up from daycare" excuse. I haven't been sleeping well, I have PMS and I don't think I can handle saying goodbye without losing it.

Butter, I'm confused ... is the guy we're nicknaming E? Or is this is a new guy? I haven't had much sleep lately ...

Tod, crazy shoes! I like the pink, but the stiletto is not my style Maybe you should get a pair?

buttercup89

Hi everyone

Yeah allfor, i can't believe it that it's already spring break time. I'm not ready, but on the other hand I need a vacation desperately and i am very excited about my little roadtrip. I'm going all by myself. First, i need some time for myself, and i am not a big fan of traveling with others. Especially with people you don't know that well. That always just causes trouble. Once I went to the mountains with my best girl friend and two of our guy friends. I had a crush on one of them, but he not on me. (Story of my life) So one day we were watching a movie and were all lying in the big bed in our room. Eventually my best friend started to cuddle with the guy i had a crush on. Not the best time.. Also i like to be able to do what i want, to go where i want etc.

I'm afraid i have to shock you. There are only 2 fix places/dates. One is my flight to San Francisco and the other is my flight back to Boston. Everything in between will be decided when i get there on a daily basis But don't worry, i know you all see me as the "baby" of the thread. But i'm a big girl and i've done it before, so i think everything will be fine

Unfortunately, things with Mr.S are not going very well anymore. We'll see what happens. , though. Not sure what happened, but i'm not going to put up with his behavior. So i guess, the nick name search was in vain, but i realized yesterday when i went out, that he had a huge influence on how i see myself, how i feel, etc. Nothing can take that away and it will sure help me in the future. I still got 2 months here, so a lot can happen, right?

I've made some new friends who are over 21 and i think we'll go out more often now. So that's another chance. One of the girls is from Germany, so that's pretty awesome.

What's the deal with wishing Happy Birthday to ex-kind-of-guys? It's B's birthday and i don't know if i should say something. Yes, because he wished me a happy birthday and i don't want to be at war with him, no because why would i wish someone happy birthday who broke me apart and i'm still trying to put the pieces back together?

I hope everyone is well Happy Weekend

PinkCloudsCharley

Oh, and I know that I owe pm's (not pms, lol, which is what I always think of when I type that). I'm sorry. I'll get to it, I promise!

Tiredofdrugs

Dang SVL! I DO understand how you are feeling about your manager leaving! I DO! I DO!

Several years ago while I was in the area of my pm doctor's office getting some paperwork picked up? I overheard someone tell Ms. ------- goodbye and good luck! WHAT? I walked down the hall to her office and stepped inside. I asked her if she was leaving? And she was! I couldn't stop the tears from falling! She's been the best doctor I've had thru the years! She went thru hell and high water to fight my battle with me to get my hysterectomy back when I was being refused! The shock of her leaving was just too heart breaking! But she needed to step down and leave due to her daughter was reaching an age she needed to be able to work from home! And she was tired of fighting the red tape to get veterans' needs taken care of! I truly miss her, but I've gotten used to the doctor I have now. And she's a good one too! It's just hard to understand her at times! Too much thickness in her accent!

Don't miss him leaving! Stay for the parting!

TOD

BlueChair

One pair of shoes Ive never seen before! YOU need those shoes TOD! I looked online and cant find if they are really for sale, but I did see people who want to know where they can buy them.

I havent gone shopping for new workout clothes yet, only looked online. I guess I really dont need new clothes to work out in, or do yoga but for some reason when starting something new I want new clothes.

We had a good family session last night. Husbunny surprised me though and brought up something he has been worried about due to his upcoming work schedule and travel. Goes back to when he was using the coke and had the affair with the woman he used to work with. She had her own substance problems and lost her marriage over the whole thing. Sorry wont let my mind wander. I guess hes been worried that his traveling will bring out any fears or insecurities I might still have, but he was unsure if bringing it up would be right or wrong and end up causing me more hurt. He is actually the one who scheduled this appt when he was out there one day and I didnt think much of it, but now I understand. Its so weird, like I would have to lie if I said I had no passing thoughts about the past, but I trust him completely and I feel like anything Ive felt has been left over feelings for me to process. I was mostly blown away at how concerned he was over my feelings, and to know he was aware his work travel could trigger me. I feel like he handled his feelings a good way and safely put it out there to explore. Hes a good guy, dont u think?

And then we went out to eat! Ha!

Did u all see the dress debate yesterday? I had to look at it for a while but it does change colors! What do you guys think?

Is it blue and black or white and gold? Dress color debate goes viral - CBS News

Oh my! Everyone snuck in while I was writing! Hi everyone!

Tiredofdrugs

Blue! I see black and blue! BUT? It could be all of the colors depending on the lighting we view it in! Just like my Molly Silkie! Her color is considered BLUE! She's black and silver in my eyes! My avatar girl!

Those shoes would end up collecting dust in the closet like the rest of them are! LOL Plus they would kill my injured ankles!

If the birthday wish to you was done before he deleted his account? And now he has no account? It would be a case of there's no question here! Not said to sound mean! If he's reopened the account? Then it's your conscious you have to live with in what you decide to do! It would be nice to wish him H/B as long as you didn't hold out for an answer back.

TOD

BlueChair

(((Sovery))) sorry hes leaving and this is so hard, makes a lot of sense as he reminds you of your dad too.

Butter sorry I owe you a note. I guess sending birthday greetings comes down to just feelings. Since your still friends, then I probably would. Then u can also look at how it makes u feel.
Haha you mean E = S and S = Stupid today! Are u taking a math class by chance?

When I looked at the dress first I saw white and gold and I couldnt see blue and black, and I was DETERMINED to see it. Then when i did, had trouble seeing white and gold again. Its like a brain tease!

buttercup89

No No No No... Not that dress again! It makes me go crazy. Last night when we were waiting for the shuttle to the bar, a girl approached us asking us what colors this dress is. I saw blue and black and i was wondering why it is such a big deal. I didn't hink much and thought it was just a crazy college kid. When i came back home the dress was all over social media... i don't know why it's such a big deal lol,but i feel stalked by that dress.

He's a great guy, blue! <3

SVL, i totally understand how you feel about your boss leaving and not being good at goodbyes. I had to say goodbye to so many people in my life. Knowing that the chances that I will see them again, are close to none. And i was on the other side too, and please, go to the party or at least say a proper goodbye to him. I know it would break my heart, if someone just sneaked out and i couldn't say goodbye.

There's a quote from Winnie the Pooh, it says "how lucky i am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." it always helps me a little bit.

Blue, haha yes you're correct. Clean, Blue, SVL i'm paranoid, please don't use the right Initial anymore. I mean, it's too late, but the further away the pages are, the less likely it is that he finds it.

Mr.S

Hmm, thanks for your answer regarding the happy birthday... difficult decision.

Tiredofdrugs

The NBC nightly news is going to give the answer to the dress color!!??????

Jethro saw white and gold! Ha Ha Ha

TOD

And the answer IS? Black and Blue!

BlueChair

Black and blue? How do they know its not black and white?

High Five to Jethro for seeing white and gold at first. Same as me. But then I did see black and blue! Of course, the answer is always BLUE. Hahaha


MR S it is then Butter! From what I know, cant imagine S would find you here tho.
Someone used Mr Blue in a comment, and Ive even been using it in place of husbunny. Not that anyone would locate him by husbunny. (Ive never called him this in person)

Tiredofdrugs

Black and blue? How do they know its not black and white?

High Five to Jethro for seeing white and gold at first. Same as me. But then I did see black and blue! Of course, the answer is always BLUE. Hahaha


MR S it is then Butter! From what I know, cant imagine S would find you here tho.
Someone used Mr Blue in a comment, and Ive even been using it in place of husbunny. Not that anyone would locate him by husbunny. (Ive never called him this in person)

PinkCloudsCharley

Well I know H would totally figure out it was me posting if he ever read here. Lol I'm not at all subtle.

Blue, how wonderful that Mr Husbunny (see what I did there? booked that appt so he could help you with any concerns you may have about his upcoming month!! What a caring husband you have!

I can see both white and gold, and blue and black. But i read this morning the woman who owns the dress says it's blue and black, she just thought it was weird it looked different in the photo.

Thank you for all your support about today and my manager leaving. It was a hard day, but i got thru it. It turned out H couldn't pick up Ds from daycare so i couldn't go out for drinks, but i did say goodbye to my manager and, even gave him a goodbye hug. I feel like I grew up a bit today.

Got home, overwhelmed with emotion, to find H gone. Dd said he was in a weird mood and went to get supper. So i waited. And waited. And finally texted him. He says, he's not bringing supper and i need to make the kids supper. It's after supper time, we're hungry and i thought he was getting supper. So i call him and he says, he can't be at home right now. He's really angry and just can't be here, doesn't know when he will be home.

I had asked him earlier today of we could finally have our early bedtime cuddle date, because i really needed it. So i asked him if we're still having our cuddle date and he said no. But not to worry because he's not going to "screw someone else behind my back". direct quote from him.

I am so confused and upset. Last night I was worried and scared about work today, and he thought it would be a great time to tell me that if our joint counseling doesn't get better (ie talk only about positive things) he's not going anymore and all I do is backstab him. Huh?? And when I told him I didn't want to talk about that, and could we talk about it later, he just kept right on talking.

Is this normal for early recovery? Is he mentally relapsing? What is going on??!! I can't ask him or he'll get angry. He's so angry, this whole week, not sleeping, won't tell me what's going on. He's been gone for over five hours now and i don't know where he is or when he's coming home. Assuming he's coming home, that is.

He has a counseling appt with his 12 step counsellor that he said he went to, but i can tell by the security app we have he was home the whole time.

I'm really hurt and confused, and I'm scared if I let any feeling out I'll lose it, between the emotions from today and work and now H, I feel like I'm going to break.

PinkCloudsCharley

And i know I still owe pm's. I don't think I'll get a chance to write tonight. I'm sorry.

Tiredofdrugs

Dang SV! I really don't know what to tell ya here! I mean? What was the reason he just kept driving and didn't bring supper home? Or was that an excuse for Dd when he left? Probably!

In my early days of coming off the opiates? I didn't want to be around ppl. Not even Jethro! My mind was so focused on losing the opiates (my lover) it was like a pin sticking me between my eyes! A constant reminder of my mind losing the feelings and other feelings coming thru! I cried at the least smallest things and also got angry quick! If it wasn't for this porch room where I can be alone? I'd probably have gotten in my car and took off driving too! Hell! I did do it when I was with my last husband. I just felt like I needed space to breathe! Too many responsibilities at home caving in on top of me!

I'm sure H is having a difficult time! And he could also be running from the cuddling time and not know how to tell you this?

You take two individuals! H and yourself! You've had a rough day - you're needing attention from H in a kind loving way! H is newly in Recovery! Barely got his toes in it! He's got 2 kids and a wife with expectations from him! He's probably scared, pizzed at himself and wishing he could just down a bottle and forget it all. But he knows he can't. And he doesn't have the answers as to how to deal with all of it! He's lived a life so long within the bottle he's forgotten how to deal with life on clean terms! So the only thing he knows to do is leave it all behind!

It's not you or the kids! This is all on him! H is trying to figure it all out! He's gonna say things that are hurtful and rude. It's not true! He's just confused and scared to admit it to himself he's the one that needs help. We all have pride. Men fall the hardest when their pride has been tested! And the bottle has tested him! His best friend is gone!

I took it hard losing my opiates! I wanted a normal life and my opiates. I couldn't have both though! I had to make a chose and I knew I was going to grieve losing the other. My perfect circle had reached a point it was cracked. I battled my way back and mended my circle.

Just let H know: You're hurting on the inside too! You love him and will be there for him! Trying to pitch too much info at him at once is hard to listen to in the beginning. The longer he stays off the alcohol will help him to mend his circle!

Does this help you?

TOD

cleaninLI

Sorry this will be quick! I know I owe you guys a proper post....maybe tomorrow? I'm also getting behind in Pms too.

I saw the dress as white and gold the first time I saw it. But this last time they showed it in the news I saw blue and black. Weird isn't it?

Soverylost I'm so sorry your manager is leaving and you are sad! Will his leaving effect your work? Was this your supervisor? I have gone thru changes in administration at work and wow was it stressful! I'm sure anyone who has worked outside know what I'm talking about. The "new" boss usually wants things done very differently from the "old" one....or they give attention to certain things that the old one didn't. I've even gone thru being treated unfairly due to my being close to the old admin. Ugh. I hope this is not the situation you are going thru soverylost and it's just a matter of having to let go of someone you grew close to. As far as hubby not being much help to you emotionally. I've been there too. Early recovery is so very hard on our emotions. I could hardly figure out the why and how I was feeling much less shoulder any from my family members. I do not say that with pride either. It is very embarrassing for me to admit that fact. To be worth diddly squat to my poor hubs or kids who might have been going thru "stuff" when I was in early recovery? But I can say with much more pride that I could now. It was only temporary and the longer I've been in recovery the stronger and more dependable I have been for those I love the most. I think after some time, your hubby will be at a much better place emotionally to be able to support you and be there for you in your time of need. It's just so strange to feel again. We spent so many years numbing ourselves then to finally wake-up from that numbness...it's hard to understand what it all means! I hope I've explained it ok?

Butter I hope things work out for you and Mr. S. That you enjoy your spring trip and are safe. I think you should follow your heart with the birthday wish. If it feels right to do....then do it.

Blue you do have a good man there. But you are good too. You deserve one another....and I mean that in a good way!

TOD So it is the shingles. Well, I'm glad they haven't been too painful! Hope they go away as fast as they came! That was one crazy night your daughter had! Hope she had a nice calm day to make up for it!

Allfor I'm sure Mr. legs is the harmless type. We have spiders sometimes too. I saw one the other say in our Attic.


Today my daughter and I were in the car driving to the grocery store and she says to me. "I'll bet if you hadn't become addicted to drugs I would have tried drugs." I just looked at her and said "good! If my addiction kept you from doing drugs then it was worth it!" Ha! Then she said..."no seriously, I have friends that do drugs and the only thing that keeps me from doing them is you and I don't want to become like you!" Instead of taking that in a negative way....which I know she meant that to be a little bit of a jab at me. I said "you are lucky that you have seen first hand what drugs can do to you!" Then she said "YES!!!! EXACTLY!!!!!"

Tomorrow, I'm going to visit my good friend who lives in Jersey. Looking forward to seeing her. It's been awhile. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Going to get some zzzz's as my hubs has a doctors appt at 8:00 am at the VAH. Ugh!

buttercup89

SVL, i'm glad you stuck around to say goodbye. i am sure it meant a lot to him. goodbyes are never easy ((((hugs)))) i am really sorry the situation at home is so bad at the moment. i honestly dont know what to tell you. i just send you some big hugs and hope that everything will be going to be okay.

Clean, i like what your daughter said. i think seeing how bad drugs can be is the best way to prevent drug abuse. My experience with B and here made me very conservative regarding drugs. I am alone among my friends but i don't care about that. I just hope they know what they're doing. Enjoy your day tomorrow

So, i actually sent a simple happy birthday and a few hours later i got a message from B saying thanks. Not much but that's okay. i am glad he answered. i will leave it at that for now. It reminded me of our time together but there was not a big desire to talk more to him. No more romantic feelings!

I am so excited about my upcoming vacations. If now Mr.S stops being mr.S and messages me it will be perfect

cleaninLI

Soverylost my post is not in response to your last post. I posted it and then read yours and Tod's. I kept getting interrupted when I was writing which is why it took so long.

cleaninLI

OMG! Now butter is in the house!?! I feel like I'm stuck in slow motion or something. Have any of you ever had that bad dream where you are trying to run fast or get out of your house but you can't run as fast as you would like too? It's as if you are running in slow motion? But you give it all you've got....and can only move ....v..e..r..y....s..l..o..w..l..y!

Tiredofdrugs

Ummmmmm I woke up from having a bad dream about a momma bear with four cubs that ended up in this neighborhood I was in - in the dream! It kept charging me and others. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest when I woke up!

No running slowly though! More like Duck and Dodge!