It's all about me Part 3
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Originally Posted by PinkCloudsCharley 
Rofl Tod!! You really had me there!!
TOD
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
I tried talking to Jethro about the part he needed to buy for the gun he's repairing a little bit ago. I also asked him if he was going to get reimbursed for any of it? It didn't take him long to start repeating his words and saying for me to drop it. I told him we have bills to pay. At least $500.00's worth sitting here right now! He pointed at the room here and told me to pay the damned things. He used to be very concerned about making sure the bills got paid! (See! This rifle came out of his dead cousin's house. It was in bad shape. Her brother brought it to Jethro and asked him if he could fix/repair it for him? Well since it's a family heirloom? Jethro is hell bent on getting it repaired!)
I said: "I'm trying to have a conversation with you! We used to be able to do that - have conversations!" Of course he turned it all on me saying I'm the reason we can't talk anymore!" He reached down to pick up Maria, talking to her the whole time. I'm so tired of him using her as an excuse to ignore me! I said: "It's a good thing you have Maria to talk to so you don't have to talk to me!" I said something about him being F'ked up and we couldn't even talk anymore. I questioned him on taking the pills and if he wasn't? Why did he get another bottle of them recently?
He said to drop it before we both ended up saying something we'd both regret!
I'm at my wit's end trying to talk to him w/o him doing the shutting down thing on me. I have to raise my voice to get thru his constant repeating words. Well then he says I'm not talking to you in that tone of voice. And shuts down! GOD ALMIGHTY! Yeah it's a dance around here for sure. Only he knows every step and I'm left floundering trying to figure out which steps to use in order to talk with him.
I'm tired of crying every night! And the song by Alabama just came on: "Lady Down On Love" the TV music station! Sigh! Tears cleanse the soul so I'll let them fall!
TOD
I said: "I'm trying to have a conversation with you! We used to be able to do that - have conversations!" Of course he turned it all on me saying I'm the reason we can't talk anymore!" He reached down to pick up Maria, talking to her the whole time. I'm so tired of him using her as an excuse to ignore me! I said: "It's a good thing you have Maria to talk to so you don't have to talk to me!" I said something about him being F'ked up and we couldn't even talk anymore. I questioned him on taking the pills and if he wasn't? Why did he get another bottle of them recently?
He said to drop it before we both ended up saying something we'd both regret!
I'm at my wit's end trying to talk to him w/o him doing the shutting down thing on me. I have to raise my voice to get thru his constant repeating words. Well then he says I'm not talking to you in that tone of voice. And shuts down! GOD ALMIGHTY! Yeah it's a dance around here for sure. Only he knows every step and I'm left floundering trying to figure out which steps to use in order to talk with him.
I'm tired of crying every night! And the song by Alabama just came on: "Lady Down On Love" the TV music station! Sigh! Tears cleanse the soul so I'll let them fall!
TOD
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
That made me laugh too. I thought he was going to say he wished he had the rifle because it was collectible. I also got a chuckle over the way you said.. the gun came from his dead cousins house.. I don't know why this made me laugh.. I feel bad his cousin died even if it wasn't recent.
I skipped last night and made it a tv night. You are all so busy I get so far behind. All this talk of the other forums and I cant even keep up with our forum so I cant be too concerned because I don't think its going to affect me much.. this and AP are now my mainstays.. and Im way behind on AP.
Cleanin you mentioned Easter eggs and we are going to color some this weekend. We have bought some plastic eggs and have been hiding them, leaving little surprises at breakfast, etc. Im sure the eggs will get messy but Im looking forward to it. Do your kids color them? It can be fun for all ages...
How about your son Charley? We did eggs last year and he loved doing egg hunts.
I hope your weekend goes well. I think you are on the right track.. whatever happens focus on a calm you.. I saw where you haven't yet picked the words to use and it reminded me of the Seinfeld episode.. does anyone remember the one where Jerry and George needed a code word,..warning word for when they tried to steal a answering machine tape? They came up with Tippy Toe, and singing the song Lemon Tree. Of course George got all confused and hysterical when it came time to use the codes.. So I vote for Tippy Toe.. You could also choose to sing one of the songs Cleanin posted or if you are really in a mood choose one of the country songs TOD posted.
Im very impressed by your daughters dancing. Its highly competitive at her level I bet, and I could see where it would be a lot of pressure. Also I would not want my son to be yelled at during workouts or backstage, or during a ballgame or anything else.. I will be the crazy mom yelling at the coach telling him to be nicer to the kids. I don't know what I would do actually, Cleanin have you ever faced this one? Im never going to be prepared for all the situations that come up as he gets older.
I skipped last night and made it a tv night. You are all so busy I get so far behind. All this talk of the other forums and I cant even keep up with our forum so I cant be too concerned because I don't think its going to affect me much.. this and AP are now my mainstays.. and Im way behind on AP.
Cleanin you mentioned Easter eggs and we are going to color some this weekend. We have bought some plastic eggs and have been hiding them, leaving little surprises at breakfast, etc. Im sure the eggs will get messy but Im looking forward to it. Do your kids color them? It can be fun for all ages...
How about your son Charley? We did eggs last year and he loved doing egg hunts.
I hope your weekend goes well. I think you are on the right track.. whatever happens focus on a calm you.. I saw where you haven't yet picked the words to use and it reminded me of the Seinfeld episode.. does anyone remember the one where Jerry and George needed a code word,..warning word for when they tried to steal a answering machine tape? They came up with Tippy Toe, and singing the song Lemon Tree. Of course George got all confused and hysterical when it came time to use the codes.. So I vote for Tippy Toe.. You could also choose to sing one of the songs Cleanin posted or if you are really in a mood choose one of the country songs TOD posted.
Im very impressed by your daughters dancing. Its highly competitive at her level I bet, and I could see where it would be a lot of pressure. Also I would not want my son to be yelled at during workouts or backstage, or during a ballgame or anything else.. I will be the crazy mom yelling at the coach telling him to be nicer to the kids. I don't know what I would do actually, Cleanin have you ever faced this one? Im never going to be prepared for all the situations that come up as he gets older.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Don't ask me why I'm not in bed yet. I'm heading there now. But I read this thread one last time and wanted to say hello to Alfor! I'll try to answer your questions tomorrow.
TOD I don't know what to say. I'm at a Loss for words. But I feel like something's got to change. You can not continue like this. But I know separating isn't any better....and you aren't ready to take that step anyway. But you gotta try some things. I think. You can't continue like this or I'm afraid you will give-up. And I hate to think what giving-up might mean? Sorry....but you really are getting depressed. I sense that!
Alright, I know not helpful but I'm worried!
But hey it's almost 6:00 am. And I haven't slept yet!
Good Night everyone! See you tomorrow!
TOD I don't know what to say. I'm at a Loss for words. But I feel like something's got to change. You can not continue like this. But I know separating isn't any better....and you aren't ready to take that step anyway. But you gotta try some things. I think. You can't continue like this or I'm afraid you will give-up. And I hate to think what giving-up might mean? Sorry....but you really are getting depressed. I sense that!
Alright, I know not helpful but I'm worried!
But hey it's almost 6:00 am. And I haven't slept yet!
Good Night everyone! See you tomorrow!
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
I'm still up too! But it's a usual for me! I just decided I didn't feel like doing a damned thing tonight! Well I took care of the two kids! Then I sat and watched a car racing movie! Lot's of action! It's almost 6:00 AM so I won't be up much longer. Just got Molly put in her basket bed in my bedroom!
I wanted to say this: I'm talking more about Jethro and what he's putting me thru recently on here. However this has been going on for over a year or longer! It's become an every day routine around here! I guess the cleaner I get? The more it hurts and bothers me and that's why I'm talking about it now!
Our conversations always end with Jethro saying: Tod knows best and it has to be Tod's way! No matter what the conversation is about. Because I'm usually asking questions or suggesting things and he doesn't like it! Trying to talk normally with a person that's on opiates? Isn't a good mix! And usually always ends up in a bad way.
I foresee him getting really strong feelings about us splitting up in the near future!
Again! There's no reasoning with a person on opiates! They are in love with their opiates. Not the person they are married to!
Allfor: I had told the story about Jethro's cousin a long time ago on the Hen House! I didn't go into it here! That's why it came out the way it did! It's okay if it pulled your funny bone. She was told by her doctor she was close to having an heart attack. She left the doctor's office in a huff! After going to bed she died in her sleep! When the family rallied at her home to clean it out? They discovered she was a big time hoarder! They discovered several rusty rifles in her home. Jethro felt it his duty to help fix the one rifle his male cousin wanted for himself! But he's that way with a lot of things. If only he'd apply that feeling to things around here! Sigh!
When I was still taking the pain meds I could tolerate him easier! I was dreading getting off the pain meds with the knowledge he was going to be hard to live with while he was still using them. He's got his pain meds in his bedroom. They are hidden! I get a freak out feeling when I go in the room. I don't want to find any of them. I still have the want of them from time to time. It doesn't last long though! If I wasn't in this chaotic marriage I probably wouldn't ever think of them. His use of them and having them here in the house is really detrimental to my well being! I'm grateful I have a strong desire to abstain from them!
I was putting Molly to bed a little while ago and it got me to thinking: Where could I go and take her with me if it came to that? Jethro can take care of the others! She's a momma's little girl though. She doesn't like men! I'd be awful worried about Maria though. He doesn't see things about her like I do that needs attending to. Oh well! Until I cross that bridge!
Well I better head to bed myself!
TOD
I wanted to say this: I'm talking more about Jethro and what he's putting me thru recently on here. However this has been going on for over a year or longer! It's become an every day routine around here! I guess the cleaner I get? The more it hurts and bothers me and that's why I'm talking about it now!
Our conversations always end with Jethro saying: Tod knows best and it has to be Tod's way! No matter what the conversation is about. Because I'm usually asking questions or suggesting things and he doesn't like it! Trying to talk normally with a person that's on opiates? Isn't a good mix! And usually always ends up in a bad way.
I foresee him getting really strong feelings about us splitting up in the near future!
Again! There's no reasoning with a person on opiates! They are in love with their opiates. Not the person they are married to!Allfor: I had told the story about Jethro's cousin a long time ago on the Hen House! I didn't go into it here! That's why it came out the way it did! It's okay if it pulled your funny bone. She was told by her doctor she was close to having an heart attack. She left the doctor's office in a huff! After going to bed she died in her sleep! When the family rallied at her home to clean it out? They discovered she was a big time hoarder! They discovered several rusty rifles in her home. Jethro felt it his duty to help fix the one rifle his male cousin wanted for himself! But he's that way with a lot of things. If only he'd apply that feeling to things around here! Sigh!
When I was still taking the pain meds I could tolerate him easier! I was dreading getting off the pain meds with the knowledge he was going to be hard to live with while he was still using them. He's got his pain meds in his bedroom. They are hidden! I get a freak out feeling when I go in the room. I don't want to find any of them. I still have the want of them from time to time. It doesn't last long though! If I wasn't in this chaotic marriage I probably wouldn't ever think of them. His use of them and having them here in the house is really detrimental to my well being! I'm grateful I have a strong desire to abstain from them!
I was putting Molly to bed a little while ago and it got me to thinking: Where could I go and take her with me if it came to that? Jethro can take care of the others! She's a momma's little girl though. She doesn't like men! I'd be awful worried about Maria though. He doesn't see things about her like I do that needs attending to. Oh well! Until I cross that bridge!
Well I better head to bed myself!
TOD
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
Allfor, yes we colour eggs too. Messy but fun. When dd was little i would buy so many dye kits after Easter when they were on sale we still have some left! We would colour eggs on rainy days or if it was blizzarding, the middle of summer or dead of winter, i love colouring eggs. Plus we'd be able to have a whole lot of egg salad for the next few days 
Dd told H she wanted to be the one to talk to the studio about her teacher. I am proud of her. Not avoiding confrontation like her mom does. She wants to be downgraded and put in the class below. I hope they do that or she will quit, and I'm biased but she's good and I'd hate for her to quit this class.
Tod, i am so sorry. I hate that this is happening.
I'm not sure if you were here yet at Christmas. That's when I'd had enough of H and his drinking and yelling and attitude and i called my bil, packed up the kids, and left. Bil took h out the next day and gave him two choices, go to detox or move out. H went to detox that night, he's been dry since with the exception of one night not too long after he got home from detox.
I've told H now that as long as he's trying, i will support him. But it came to a point where I had to make a decision on what was best for me and the kids, and as much as I love him had to think my life might not include him for a while.
I know that you're finally together after years of being apart. But he needs to respect you. I'm sorry this is happening.
Blue, hope you were able to sleep in!
Dd told H she wanted to be the one to talk to the studio about her teacher. I am proud of her. Not avoiding confrontation like her mom does. She wants to be downgraded and put in the class below. I hope they do that or she will quit, and I'm biased but she's good and I'd hate for her to quit this class.
Tod, i am so sorry. I hate that this is happening.
I'm not sure if you were here yet at Christmas. That's when I'd had enough of H and his drinking and yelling and attitude and i called my bil, packed up the kids, and left. Bil took h out the next day and gave him two choices, go to detox or move out. H went to detox that night, he's been dry since with the exception of one night not too long after he got home from detox.
I've told H now that as long as he's trying, i will support him. But it came to a point where I had to make a decision on what was best for me and the kids, and as much as I love him had to think my life might not include him for a while.
I know that you're finally together after years of being apart. But he needs to respect you. I'm sorry this is happening.
Blue, hope you were able to sleep in!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
H has a psych appt in the middle of Apr. It's one he asked to be referred for in Oct when his drinking really ramped up and he was starting to slide big time. It was originally to go onto Antabuse because our gp couldn't prescribe it.
Anyway the appt card has been on the fridge for a month now and we were cleaning off the fridge, and i asked if he was going to go or should I throw the card out. He said he'd go but wasn't sure why he should. That lead into how's he's posted on Facebook four times now about male depression and that lead into a conversation about bipolar. It was really hard for me to push through with that and not retreat to avoid making him possibly feel bad. But it was important that I bring up some things I've been seeing that he may not have seen himself.
He was open and respectful, and said that it is obvious that he's depressed. He can't find happy, and now that he's not drinking he can't medicate the not-happy away. He wasn't sure he could see bipolar and maybe it's not there, it was just an observation that may or may not be there...but I know for me personally, if I'm exhibiting signs that others pick up on and i don't, i appreciate it when they tell me so I can see what's going on.
So now maybe H will talk to the psych dr about this, maybe he won't, but hopefully he'll consider getting some help for the depression at least.
Anyway the appt card has been on the fridge for a month now and we were cleaning off the fridge, and i asked if he was going to go or should I throw the card out. He said he'd go but wasn't sure why he should. That lead into how's he's posted on Facebook four times now about male depression and that lead into a conversation about bipolar. It was really hard for me to push through with that and not retreat to avoid making him possibly feel bad. But it was important that I bring up some things I've been seeing that he may not have seen himself.
He was open and respectful, and said that it is obvious that he's depressed. He can't find happy, and now that he's not drinking he can't medicate the not-happy away. He wasn't sure he could see bipolar and maybe it's not there, it was just an observation that may or may not be there...but I know for me personally, if I'm exhibiting signs that others pick up on and i don't, i appreciate it when they tell me so I can see what's going on.
So now maybe H will talk to the psych dr about this, maybe he won't, but hopefully he'll consider getting some help for the depression at least.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Wow Charley good work! You handled the discussion great with your H. Im sorry he is feeling depressed, but its good he is recognizing it. My husband uses an antidepressant and he was reluctant and a little scared but the doctor encouraged him and he says its helped. He had to switch in the beginning after a month or so because the first one wasnt exactly right for him.
Im so proud of you having the convo! And your daughter too. Look at her, wanting to handle this on her own and shes making decisions based on her needs too as far as the class goes.
Your daughter sounds way mature just like Cleans. She does all this smart and impressive stuff all the time too.
Tod, oh my gosh Im sorry. Im happy you share here wth us! Maybe if he was serious before you should consider trying a marriage counselor. It might help, especially if its to the point of your hurting so bad. I think prepare in advance. Start looking to see if there are rentals available with a yard. How much it would all cost so you put funds aside in case it comes to that. You could also stay with your mom I bet. I owe you a note back soon as I can.
I slept in today! And had a relaxing breakfast. Went outside a while. Now Im waiting for my sis to come over and we're going shopping. Tomorrow Im going to our church because I have to practice for the choir concert with the group. And Im gonna try to stop off for those marzipan carrots today. Butter showed me once where she lives they have all kinds of marzipan fruits, veggies. I was so jealous, hope they have a good selection at the bakery now. Its weird to get excited about this isnt it? Ha!
Im so proud of you having the convo! And your daughter too. Look at her, wanting to handle this on her own and shes making decisions based on her needs too as far as the class goes.
Your daughter sounds way mature just like Cleans. She does all this smart and impressive stuff all the time too.
Tod, oh my gosh Im sorry. Im happy you share here wth us! Maybe if he was serious before you should consider trying a marriage counselor. It might help, especially if its to the point of your hurting so bad. I think prepare in advance. Start looking to see if there are rentals available with a yard. How much it would all cost so you put funds aside in case it comes to that. You could also stay with your mom I bet. I owe you a note back soon as I can.
I slept in today! And had a relaxing breakfast. Went outside a while. Now Im waiting for my sis to come over and we're going shopping. Tomorrow Im going to our church because I have to practice for the choir concert with the group. And Im gonna try to stop off for those marzipan carrots today. Butter showed me once where she lives they have all kinds of marzipan fruits, veggies. I was so jealous, hope they have a good selection at the bakery now. Its weird to get excited about this isnt it? Ha!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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I need to post my inspirational song too, but mine are a bit darker. Lots of songs about anger still, very heavy beats. Helps me work through the anger and I'm able to present a happier side after. I'll post a couple later.
Two more gold! Woot Woot! And (maybe) a date with H tonight if Ds goes to sleep well and dd can watch him.
Two more gold! Woot Woot! And (maybe) a date with H tonight if Ds goes to sleep well and dd can watch him.
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
OMG! I was searching around for a certain video and this came up! Way too good not to share! So many good songs too!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0...=RDgm_n76Dsl0c
And then there's the chicken police! ROFL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybVb...=RDgm_n76Dsl0c
And of course we have the girlie girl!
TOD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0...=RDgm_n76Dsl0c
And then there's the chicken police! ROFL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybVb...=RDgm_n76Dsl0c
And of course we have the girlie girl!
TOD
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Oh man thanks Tod. I have some Amy Grant here. I think its some of her Christian stuff. Maybe Clean needs to get a couple chickens to keep Dova in line. So cute. I listened to the chorus too, and I think I got it! But I know you posted just so I could see those dance moves and add em to my singing. Yep it would be one Easter no one would forget at church. All I would need is to get a couple others to do it with me. Probably not the guys dressed for the play because they have robes and this play they are using fake blood too.
Please let DS sleep well so Mr and Mrs Charley can have a date night!
((Hugs Girls))
Please let DS sleep well so Mr and Mrs Charley can have a date night! ((Hugs Girls))
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Oh I love it! So many inspirational songs and entertainment! I love that one about coming out of the dawn! That's a cute Burger King commercial! Reminds me of Maria. She loves her fries doesn't she?
TOD you'll have to give me a course in posting videos. Mine were from U tube so maybe that's why you couldn't view them?
Charley your daughter seems very mature and smart like her mama! It's great that she has her priorities straight too. I've told all my kids that their only job is to learn and study....basically their education. I don't care if any of them wish to work part time or participate in any extracurricular activities but they must put their job (education) first. That is the priority! So if they can not maintain a certain grade point average then something gets cut. But I think it's awesome that your daughter excels in something like that plus can keep up with honors classes. Awesome charley!
Oh blue I could just picture that....ha ha ha ha....too funny!
Yes prayers going up for Charley and H's date night!
TOD you'll have to give me a course in posting videos. Mine were from U tube so maybe that's why you couldn't view them?
Charley your daughter seems very mature and smart like her mama! It's great that she has her priorities straight too. I've told all my kids that their only job is to learn and study....basically their education. I don't care if any of them wish to work part time or participate in any extracurricular activities but they must put their job (education) first. That is the priority! So if they can not maintain a certain grade point average then something gets cut. But I think it's awesome that your daughter excels in something like that plus can keep up with honors classes. Awesome charley!
Oh blue I could just picture that....ha ha ha ha....too funny!
Yes prayers going up for Charley and H's date night!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Alright,
I'm back! Just wanted to write a little about my day since it was a little more exciting than my regular routine. Lol
Slept until noon. Then was surprised by hubs with a bag of bagels hot and fresh out of the oven. Bagels are not my favorites just so you know...but they are my husband's. Ha! But I appreciate any and all attempts to cut down on my meal preps. So Bring on the bag of bagels! Hmm...say that five times fast!
So shortly after that we decided to go to the mall. My son has been complaining about his shoes being too small. I happened to have a couple coupons of $10 off of $10 and $10 off of $25 from JCP. I found a pair for me in the clearance section but even on clearance they were quite a bit. But I found a nice pair for my daughter on sale for only $15! Then -$10 from the coupon and it's a really nice bargain!
Remember? We went there for shoes for my son? Well, didn't find any. He didn't like the ones they had or they were not his size. So tomorrow we are going to the outlets to the Nike store. Maybe we'll have better luck there?
But anyway....we walked around....did a little more shopping stopped off at McDonald's cause the kid were getting hungry....and then came home.
Yeah...I guess it wasn't that exciting?
So how was your day guys?
I'm back! Just wanted to write a little about my day since it was a little more exciting than my regular routine. Lol
Slept until noon. Then was surprised by hubs with a bag of bagels hot and fresh out of the oven. Bagels are not my favorites just so you know...but they are my husband's. Ha! But I appreciate any and all attempts to cut down on my meal preps. So Bring on the bag of bagels! Hmm...say that five times fast!
So shortly after that we decided to go to the mall. My son has been complaining about his shoes being too small. I happened to have a couple coupons of $10 off of $10 and $10 off of $25 from JCP. I found a pair for me in the clearance section but even on clearance they were quite a bit. But I found a nice pair for my daughter on sale for only $15! Then -$10 from the coupon and it's a really nice bargain!
Remember? We went there for shoes for my son? Well, didn't find any. He didn't like the ones they had or they were not his size. So tomorrow we are going to the outlets to the Nike store. Maybe we'll have better luck there?
But anyway....we walked around....did a little more shopping stopped off at McDonald's cause the kid were getting hungry....and then came home.
Yeah...I guess it wasn't that exciting?
So how was your day guys?
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