It's all about me Part 3
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Originally Posted by PinkCloudsCharley 
Blue, it's great you were able to chat with Mr Blue. I miss talking with Mr Charley, but it's better when we don't chat at night when he's gone. He gets very lonely and depressed then, and if I don't want to rescue him from his feelings, I need to step back.
And Allfor is right. You did a great job departing some of your knowledge and wisdom on the other thread last night, there is no reason you should have to defend yourself. I actually am in awe of how much insight everyone here has. Such great fonts of knowledge! I am so happy to have found this place!
I'm not feeling as confident as I was yesterday. This is going to require me to be very strong and to stop hiding behind my walls, and also it's going to mean I need to overlook some of H's reactions if he is going to be held accountable for them and allow the chips to fall where they do sometimes instead of trying to smooth over his feelings. This is going to be hard work. He has a lot of growing to do and it seems daunting today.
That being said, H has posted on Facebook four times now, a link to an article on male depression. I guess, after how our session went yesterday and what we agreed upon, I should just ask him straight out if there is something wrong, and take whatever he says as his answer and move on, right?
Your session went good, and if you agreed on how to approach things then I think you should try to follow it. Its taken practice, but a lot of the Craft communication tips have helped me work through uncomfortable things with Mr Blue. The part about lowering defensiveness and creating a comfortable environment for discussions has helped a lot. I started thinking through important conversations in advance just like the book suggests. Ive had to practice though and try it on other people too. Friends, coworkers. I dont know why but I really like the communication stuff. Hmm maybe its because my husband is very skilled at speaking, and this puts me at a closer level to him? Never thought of this before, but makes sense in my case.
I think its normal to be scared too. Because it means your eyes are open and your not in a bubble. Theres a lot to be accomplished and part of it you cant control, and other things you can. Youve identified some areas for you to work on,, so its really good. It will benefit you in the long run. Just go slow, Rome wasn't built in a day.
Im not sure what Mr Blue does at night. Hes with two other people from work this trip and one is a good friend. I think they hang out some, and he honestly can sit and work for hours without looking up. Its weird! But I do talk to him at night, and during the day. Not sure what Im gonna do tonight. I was out of the office all day and now Im tired but gotta drive home. Im thinking some nice carryout and I should at least get on the treadmill tonight.
Clean, how did the field trip go? Did the girls have fun? Ok tell us now, what did you cook because I know it was something good for when they got home. #envy
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
I ran across this tonight and thought it was a good reminder...
Words of Encouragement at the end of the intro Beyond Addiction
You can help
Helping yourself helps
Your loved one isn't crazy
The world isn't black and white
Labels do more harm than good
Different people need different options
Treatment isn't the be-all and end-all
Ambivalence is normal
People can be helped at any time
Life is a series of experiments
Things you can change:
How comfortable you are right now
How optimistic you are in general
What behaviors you encourage
How much you argue
How often you smile
How much you sleep
How strong you feel
Your habitual reactions
Your tone of voice
What you pay attention to
Your point of view
The atmosphere in your home
How isolated you feel
How you deal with stress
How much you worry
Your heart rate
How you spend money
How you express concern
What substances you use
How you help
How you get help
What kind of help you get
The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning
Whether anything good happens today
How much you enjoy life.
Words of Encouragement at the end of the intro Beyond Addiction
You can help
Helping yourself helps
Your loved one isn't crazy
The world isn't black and white
Labels do more harm than good
Different people need different options
Treatment isn't the be-all and end-all
Ambivalence is normal
People can be helped at any time
Life is a series of experiments
Things you can change:
How comfortable you are right now
How optimistic you are in general
What behaviors you encourage
How much you argue
How often you smile
How much you sleep
How strong you feel
Your habitual reactions
Your tone of voice
What you pay attention to
Your point of view
The atmosphere in your home
How isolated you feel
How you deal with stress
How much you worry
Your heart rate
How you spend money
How you express concern
What substances you use
How you help
How you get help
What kind of help you get
The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning
Whether anything good happens today
How much you enjoy life.
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Hi everyone!
Cross your fingers and toes! I finally got the computer problem solved after multiple downloads and scans. Jethro never did remember what he did the last time to fix the problem. ARGH! He abandoned the project so I went on the prowl to solve it myself!
Hours of scanning, cleaning and searching! It's 4:00 AM Wednesday morning and I just got it resolved.
All I gotta say is: "DO NOT ever try to run a program that isn't suggested thru your own computer's program." I was trying to watch a show and this authentic looking program said; I needed to download the most up to date _____ in order to watch it. OH BOY! What a wrong thing to do! It downloaded this thing called strong____! It attached to SR and was throwing all sorts of links and popups in reference to drugs and rehabs imagine able! What a pain in the azz!
And to top it off! Jethro and me had a good falling out this evening. I'm sick of his nasty attitude! I asked him tonight if he's still been taking the pain meds? He said; "No!" I told him to flush them then! Oh Hell! He started telling me we needed to see a counselor! I said: "It's amazing how you always suggest we see a counselor when I ask you about taking the pain meds?" I'm a happy camper! He's a miserable overweight man!
TOD
Cross your fingers and toes! I finally got the computer problem solved after multiple downloads and scans. Jethro never did remember what he did the last time to fix the problem. ARGH! He abandoned the project so I went on the prowl to solve it myself!
Hours of scanning, cleaning and searching! It's 4:00 AM Wednesday morning and I just got it resolved.All I gotta say is: "DO NOT ever try to run a program that isn't suggested thru your own computer's program." I was trying to watch a show and this authentic looking program said; I needed to download the most up to date _____ in order to watch it. OH BOY! What a wrong thing to do! It downloaded this thing called strong____! It attached to SR and was throwing all sorts of links and popups in reference to drugs and rehabs imagine able! What a pain in the azz!
And to top it off! Jethro and me had a good falling out this evening. I'm sick of his nasty attitude! I asked him tonight if he's still been taking the pain meds? He said; "No!" I told him to flush them then! Oh Hell! He started telling me we needed to see a counselor! I said: "It's amazing how you always suggest we see a counselor when I ask you about taking the pain meds?" I'm a happy camper! He's a miserable overweight man!
TOD
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
Good morning, everyone!
Allfor, thank you for that list of reminders. I really needed to see that today!
Tod, welcome back! Sorry Jethro is such a grouch. I can relate to being sick of a grouch's attitude for sure! Maybe you should go to see a counselor together. A counselor could tell him he needs to get off the pain pills
Allfor, thank you for that list of reminders. I really needed to see that today!
Tod, welcome back! Sorry Jethro is such a grouch. I can relate to being sick of a grouch's attitude for sure! Maybe you should go to see a counselor together. A counselor could tell him he needs to get off the pain pills
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Hi everyone!
Charley: Dealing with Jethro at times is like dealing with a 2 year old with an adult Italian temper!
The argument last night started over the computer problem. I had told him it was MY fault and I knew exactly what I had done to cause it. Somewhere along the line he accused me of blaming him for the problem! SAY WHAT? He had me so confused in trying to explain exactly what was going on with the computer that I had to shut down and walk off. He even read the same damned article I had read in reference to what the malware did! And I had already told him that's exactly what it was doing! Then he proceeded to turn it all around and tell me I wasn't paying attention to him and was making up my own story as to what was going on with the computer! And it was all SR's fault! Well NO it wasn't! Good God! I felt like I was talking with a Martian! Jethro is an exceptionally smart/brilliant minded person! These pain meds though are turning him into somebody I don't know anymore!
It wouldn't do any good to go to counseling! You can't counsel somebody that's popping pills and saying it's okay to do so! Because they are doctor prescribed! Or like he likes to say now! I'm not taking any pills! He's trying to make a former pill popper a believer! Too funny! I miss my happy husband! He's so angry all the time now! I never know what's going to set him off anymore! He said yesterday he was going to file for unemployment since he's been out of work for so many months. OH HELL! If he does that? His boss will never call him back! His boss has problems too, but I think Jethro's attitude and his pill popping is causing problems between the two of them and his boss isn't wanting to call him back!
At one point I ended up outside sitting on the swing crying! He came out to tell me he had a program running on my computer and was going to take a shower. I just said okay! I knew if I said anything else he'd just get more belligerent. He's been on these pills for at least three years or longer now! He doesn't take a lot, but the little bit he does take has changed him for the worse. He also told me last night. I'm the reason things are so bad between the two of us. I know from experience in myself that's a true pill head talking for ya! He want's counseling for us so I'LL get straightened out! Yeah well? He can keep thinking that!
He's acting normal today! Even seems embarrassed by yesterdays actions! That's just a normal thing around here though! I waited over 32 years to marry him and I don't want to lose him to the pain med world! It would be one thing to fight another woman, but pain meds are a different matter all together! Hmmmmmm There's a song out there about this! Only it's alcohol not pain meds.
TOD
Charley: Dealing with Jethro at times is like dealing with a 2 year old with an adult Italian temper!
The argument last night started over the computer problem. I had told him it was MY fault and I knew exactly what I had done to cause it. Somewhere along the line he accused me of blaming him for the problem! SAY WHAT? He had me so confused in trying to explain exactly what was going on with the computer that I had to shut down and walk off. He even read the same damned article I had read in reference to what the malware did! And I had already told him that's exactly what it was doing! Then he proceeded to turn it all around and tell me I wasn't paying attention to him and was making up my own story as to what was going on with the computer! And it was all SR's fault! Well NO it wasn't! Good God! I felt like I was talking with a Martian! Jethro is an exceptionally smart/brilliant minded person! These pain meds though are turning him into somebody I don't know anymore!
It wouldn't do any good to go to counseling! You can't counsel somebody that's popping pills and saying it's okay to do so! Because they are doctor prescribed! Or like he likes to say now! I'm not taking any pills! He's trying to make a former pill popper a believer! Too funny! I miss my happy husband! He's so angry all the time now! I never know what's going to set him off anymore! He said yesterday he was going to file for unemployment since he's been out of work for so many months. OH HELL! If he does that? His boss will never call him back! His boss has problems too, but I think Jethro's attitude and his pill popping is causing problems between the two of them and his boss isn't wanting to call him back!
At one point I ended up outside sitting on the swing crying! He came out to tell me he had a program running on my computer and was going to take a shower. I just said okay! I knew if I said anything else he'd just get more belligerent. He's been on these pills for at least three years or longer now! He doesn't take a lot, but the little bit he does take has changed him for the worse. He also told me last night. I'm the reason things are so bad between the two of us. I know from experience in myself that's a true pill head talking for ya! He want's counseling for us so I'LL get straightened out! Yeah well? He can keep thinking that!
He's acting normal today! Even seems embarrassed by yesterdays actions! That's just a normal thing around here though! I waited over 32 years to marry him and I don't want to lose him to the pain med world! It would be one thing to fight another woman, but pain meds are a different matter all together! Hmmmmmm There's a song out there about this! Only it's alcohol not pain meds.
TOD
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
Wow Tod i can certainly understand the angry hubby bit! And the feeling like you are talking to someone else ... completely relate to that. That's how i would feel with H and he's only beginning to understand that, that he was on some other planet most of the time even when he was sober, booze and pills stick in your head for a while ... I'm sure i don't need to tell you that!
I often told H it was like he was having an affair. And then when we saw the counselor for the first time, that's exactly what the counselor said. "H, you're having an affair, you know" and H, who was still actively drinking, said "I know. I am having an affair with my wife, because I'm married to booze"
I often told H it was like he was having an affair. And then when we saw the counselor for the first time, that's exactly what the counselor said. "H, you're having an affair, you know" and H, who was still actively drinking, said "I know. I am having an affair with my wife, because I'm married to booze"
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Awe that's sad TOD! Are you sure counseling wouldn't help you though? I know most people want counseling to fix the other person. Those counselors know that I'm sure! He may think that's what's going to happen but it's rarely one sided when a marriage goes bad. I've come to the realization that it's never one person and neither are to blame. It's more about the way we interact with one another. That with counseling could change....become better. But if couples come into therapy finger pointing and trying to dismiss their responsibility by insisting it’s the other one’s fault, then that’s really the problem. That’s where counseling really needs to start. That seems like the real reason for counseling! But I think for counseling to really work.... both must let go of their egos.
This explains what I'm talking about. "Ego. We’ve all got one. We came by it honestly. Probably sometime around the fourth grade when kids started to be jerks to us. Maybe earlier if our family members were jerks first. The ego was a good thing. It kept us safe from the emotional slings and arrows. But now that we’re grown and married, the ego is a wall that separates. It’s time for it to come down. By practicing openness instead of defensiveness, forgiveness instead of vengeance, apology instead of blame, vulnerability instead of strength, and grace instead of power."
I try hard to think about this and to put my ego aside. To remember I married this man because I wanted to be his partner and best friend not because I wanted to control him. Yes he makes mistakes...yes he's annoying....but so am I! So if you both can enter marriage counseling on the same side and to save your marriage...it could benefit you.
This explains what I'm talking about. "Ego. We’ve all got one. We came by it honestly. Probably sometime around the fourth grade when kids started to be jerks to us. Maybe earlier if our family members were jerks first. The ego was a good thing. It kept us safe from the emotional slings and arrows. But now that we’re grown and married, the ego is a wall that separates. It’s time for it to come down. By practicing openness instead of defensiveness, forgiveness instead of vengeance, apology instead of blame, vulnerability instead of strength, and grace instead of power."
I try hard to think about this and to put my ego aside. To remember I married this man because I wanted to be his partner and best friend not because I wanted to control him. Yes he makes mistakes...yes he's annoying....but so am I! So if you both can enter marriage counseling on the same side and to save your marriage...it could benefit you.
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Originally Posted by PinkCloudsCharley
Wow Tod i can certainly understand the angry hubby bit! And the feeling like you are talking to someone else ... completely relate to that. That's how i would feel with H and he's only beginning to understand that, that he was on some other planet most of the time even when he was sober, booze and pills stick in your head for a while ... I'm sure i don't need to tell you that!
I often told H it was like he was having an affair. And then when we saw the counselor for the first time, that's exactly what the counselor said. "H, you're having an affair, you know" and H, who was still actively drinking, said "I know. I am having an affair with my wife, because I'm married to booze"
I often told H it was like he was having an affair. And then when we saw the counselor for the first time, that's exactly what the counselor said. "H, you're having an affair, you know" and H, who was still actively drinking, said "I know. I am having an affair with my wife, because I'm married to booze"
This isn't the song I was previously talking about! But it sure hits home!
TOD
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Im back. I was going to post earlier but seriously spent time thinking about the off topic thread, and reading posts. Charley and Allfor you both explained things soo good. I get emotional over what happened to Mr Blue, it was really horrible. I dont think people understand what it was like when someone is missing and you know they are out of their right mind and in danger. But hes ok, and hes working and I talked to him earlier today. The memories are less sharp than they were last year.
Clean you wrote some good stuff there about marriage counseling. Im shocked Jethro mentioned it Tod, he doesnt sound like the type to suggest it. Was he serious? I think sometimes if you do counseling together then maybe it can also be a catalyst for individual counseling and this might help him become more open to explore his medical problems and how he feels, how using pills make him feel. I dont like the way you share about his breathing problems. I think he might need a health overhaul! Im sorry he had you so upset, makes me feel sad. Theres lots of things in life the two of you could be doing and hes too young to not fight back against his health problems.
Charley I was going to reply to the article yesterday, but I ran out of time because I was working but not in the office. Im no expert, I have a feeling a lot of people dont meet the medical criteria for addiction or alcoholism. I think there are sometimes emotional reasons, trauma why people turn to drugs and alcohol, and if those are sorted out then some of those people can drink in moderation. Its think the studies in other countries are interesting.
In the Beyond Addiction book it also says lots of times people cannot initially accept they will never drink again. And as part of the change process they sample and experiment. I think non 12 step approaches are more open to moderation and the aspect of possible behavioral modification. This is from what I read. Its kinda what happened with Mr Blue and his decision to drink sometimes but never for emotional reasons, or as an escape. But since his main drug wasnt alcohol then its also different! His doctor has been involved and hes been honest about it. He doesnt believe he could use cocaine and moderate because twice now its been proven otherwise. I think the risk for him with alcohol is if trying to use it for emotional reasons. I dont think in his case he craves the drink or the high/low from it. But I think some people do. I remember him saying he would find out if he can do it or not. At the time wasnt very comforting! Im sorry probably this doesnt help at all!
I didnt sleep good at all last night.. Fell asleep watching a movie, the house was chilly so I had on a pair of fluffy sox. One sock fell off and I was too tired to look for it, so one foot was cold. There was no Mr Blue to put my cold foot on to warm up. Then I heard these noises and had to go look. Felt like I was in one of those scary movies where your yelling, dont go look what are you crazy? The dog and cat got into some trouble and the cat was locked in room and the door was wedged with a picture frame. Knocked off the wall! The dog was trying to push his way in, and what I was hearing was the banging noises. They were all excited and I was thinking these things dont happen when Mr Blue is here. Why? Let them in the bedroom but had to move a bunch of stuff first. Did all this with one sock on too. Then I was awake so I finished the movie. I hope I sleep better tonight.
I owe messages, sorry. I had to get work done and Im still here! will miss some traffic maybe now.
Oh oh oh I was bummed found out there was an open session at smart with dr foote and dr meyers last weekend. They are going to put it in a podcast so I will link it when its up.
Clean you wrote some good stuff there about marriage counseling. Im shocked Jethro mentioned it Tod, he doesnt sound like the type to suggest it. Was he serious? I think sometimes if you do counseling together then maybe it can also be a catalyst for individual counseling and this might help him become more open to explore his medical problems and how he feels, how using pills make him feel. I dont like the way you share about his breathing problems. I think he might need a health overhaul! Im sorry he had you so upset, makes me feel sad. Theres lots of things in life the two of you could be doing and hes too young to not fight back against his health problems.
Charley I was going to reply to the article yesterday, but I ran out of time because I was working but not in the office. Im no expert, I have a feeling a lot of people dont meet the medical criteria for addiction or alcoholism. I think there are sometimes emotional reasons, trauma why people turn to drugs and alcohol, and if those are sorted out then some of those people can drink in moderation. Its think the studies in other countries are interesting.
In the Beyond Addiction book it also says lots of times people cannot initially accept they will never drink again. And as part of the change process they sample and experiment. I think non 12 step approaches are more open to moderation and the aspect of possible behavioral modification. This is from what I read. Its kinda what happened with Mr Blue and his decision to drink sometimes but never for emotional reasons, or as an escape. But since his main drug wasnt alcohol then its also different! His doctor has been involved and hes been honest about it. He doesnt believe he could use cocaine and moderate because twice now its been proven otherwise. I think the risk for him with alcohol is if trying to use it for emotional reasons. I dont think in his case he craves the drink or the high/low from it. But I think some people do. I remember him saying he would find out if he can do it or not. At the time wasnt very comforting! Im sorry probably this doesnt help at all!
I didnt sleep good at all last night.. Fell asleep watching a movie, the house was chilly so I had on a pair of fluffy sox. One sock fell off and I was too tired to look for it, so one foot was cold. There was no Mr Blue to put my cold foot on to warm up. Then I heard these noises and had to go look. Felt like I was in one of those scary movies where your yelling, dont go look what are you crazy? The dog and cat got into some trouble and the cat was locked in room and the door was wedged with a picture frame. Knocked off the wall! The dog was trying to push his way in, and what I was hearing was the banging noises. They were all excited and I was thinking these things dont happen when Mr Blue is here. Why? Let them in the bedroom but had to move a bunch of stuff first. Did all this with one sock on too. Then I was awake so I finished the movie. I hope I sleep better tonight.
I owe messages, sorry. I had to get work done and Im still here! will miss some traffic maybe now.
Oh oh oh I was bummed found out there was an open session at smart with dr foote and dr meyers last weekend. They are going to put it in a podcast so I will link it when its up.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
That sounds interesting Blue! The podcast!
Well, I didn't mean to sound holier than thou about it! God knows we have our share of arguments too. Some stuff I've given up on thru the years....some he has. But some we fight over to this day and probably always will. Plus I'm not an advocate for MC anyway. Too many variables. And most important you need to find the right one. One that is completely unbiased. But it bothers me to think about TOD crying on a swing. That touches my heart because I do not think TOD cries easily and about just anything. She had to have been very hurt and frustrated! So I'm so sorry about that! Wish I could whip Jethro into shape!
Oh boy Blue! Sorry about what happened! I hope your night is quiet tonight. But you are right it only happens when we are alone! I still to this day get creeped out when I'm alone at night. I never liked that and find it hard to understand how people who live alone don't get scared? Charley does it scare you?
Well, I didn't mean to sound holier than thou about it! God knows we have our share of arguments too. Some stuff I've given up on thru the years....some he has. But some we fight over to this day and probably always will. Plus I'm not an advocate for MC anyway. Too many variables. And most important you need to find the right one. One that is completely unbiased. But it bothers me to think about TOD crying on a swing. That touches my heart because I do not think TOD cries easily and about just anything. She had to have been very hurt and frustrated! So I'm so sorry about that! Wish I could whip Jethro into shape!
Oh boy Blue! Sorry about what happened! I hope your night is quiet tonight. But you are right it only happens when we are alone! I still to this day get creeped out when I'm alone at night. I never liked that and find it hard to understand how people who live alone don't get scared? Charley does it scare you?
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Blue: In reference to your statement about the alcohol? I'm still able to drink! I mix Baileys in a glass of milk. It helps me with the pain in my back. I only drink at night and it's usually when I'm working around the place! And it's only one glass! And then there's other times I don't drink at all! It doesn't send me running and screaming for my pain meds! There's NO WAY I could take one pain pill and be okay though! Two totally different feelings from the two of them. Even during my two years clean time I drank the Baileys and it didn't bother me! There are those of us that can handle it! Others can't! If I ever thought I was having a problem with it? I wouldn't touch another drop of it.
Clean: I only told y'all about my crying, because that's mentally where I was at last night! At my wit's end as to what to do about the situation around here! When I reach a point of no answer and being treated in a negative way by Jethro. I usually start crying. My tears don't affect him though! I'm not crying to win him over! I'm just too upset and too hurt to try to continue getting thru to him. I just feel so worn down and without answers as to what to do anymore! Jethro really knows how to show his azz and make me feel like an imbecile too! I already know where he's heading by taking these meds! I want to save him some time by getting him to stop taking them now! He's told me too many times; "I'm not going to stop taking the pain meds!" So the grief continues and I'm left to put up with the stupidity he puts me thru! He threw it in my face last night I was trading opiates for the Baileys too! I in no way am doing that! I didn't touch it for over a week while helping mom either! I would be downing bottles of it if I was trading it for the opiates! And besides! He would have found something else to use if it wasn't the Baileys. Anyhow! I don't want anyone here worrying about it! It's not a problem! I'm an honest person and that's why I've let y'all know!
I do cry more than what I admit too here on the Thread! I get hurt easily. I'm too caring of a person and hate seeing others suffer! And believe me! Jethro is suffering in more ways than one! I'm truly grateful I'm off the pain meds so I can stay on top of things around here. He's making so many errors in so many things I need to stay vigilant. Dealing with his anger and nasty moods is also a pain. It doesn't take much to set him off. Example! I was carrying a load of wet T-shirts on hangers back to his bedroom to hang up on the rack I have in there for drying them. They were heavy and I was in a hurry. He's sitting at his computer and says as I'm walking past him: "***** has this article and starts reading it to me!" I said: "I'm busy!" I took another step and he said: "Well excuse me for trying to tell you something!" ARGH! I leaned against the wall and said: "I have a heavy load of wet T-shirts here! You want me to stop and continue holding them while I listen to you read?" He said: "Yea right! I'm sure they're heavy? Go on! Don't worry about what I was going to read to ya!" I leaned forward off the wall and kept walking! He kept that nasty attitude the rest of the night. Of course I had the dreaded doom in the pit of my stomach knowing what I was going to be dealing with until he went to bed. I know what sort of person he can be - Off the pain meds! And it kills me on the inside! Dealing with who he is now!
TOD
Clean: I only told y'all about my crying, because that's mentally where I was at last night! At my wit's end as to what to do about the situation around here! When I reach a point of no answer and being treated in a negative way by Jethro. I usually start crying. My tears don't affect him though! I'm not crying to win him over! I'm just too upset and too hurt to try to continue getting thru to him. I just feel so worn down and without answers as to what to do anymore! Jethro really knows how to show his azz and make me feel like an imbecile too! I already know where he's heading by taking these meds! I want to save him some time by getting him to stop taking them now! He's told me too many times; "I'm not going to stop taking the pain meds!" So the grief continues and I'm left to put up with the stupidity he puts me thru! He threw it in my face last night I was trading opiates for the Baileys too! I in no way am doing that! I didn't touch it for over a week while helping mom either! I would be downing bottles of it if I was trading it for the opiates! And besides! He would have found something else to use if it wasn't the Baileys. Anyhow! I don't want anyone here worrying about it! It's not a problem! I'm an honest person and that's why I've let y'all know!
I do cry more than what I admit too here on the Thread!
I get hurt easily. I'm too caring of a person and hate seeing others suffer! And believe me! Jethro is suffering in more ways than one! I'm truly grateful I'm off the pain meds so I can stay on top of things around here. He's making so many errors in so many things I need to stay vigilant. Dealing with his anger and nasty moods is also a pain. It doesn't take much to set him off. Example! I was carrying a load of wet T-shirts on hangers back to his bedroom to hang up on the rack I have in there for drying them. They were heavy and I was in a hurry. He's sitting at his computer and says as I'm walking past him: "***** has this article and starts reading it to me!" I said: "I'm busy!" I took another step and he said: "Well excuse me for trying to tell you something!" ARGH! I leaned against the wall and said: "I have a heavy load of wet T-shirts here! You want me to stop and continue holding them while I listen to you read?" He said: "Yea right! I'm sure they're heavy? Go on! Don't worry about what I was going to read to ya!" I leaned forward off the wall and kept walking! He kept that nasty attitude the rest of the night. Of course I had the dreaded doom in the pit of my stomach knowing what I was going to be dealing with until he went to bed. I know what sort of person he can be - Off the pain meds! And it kills me on the inside! Dealing with who he is now!TOD
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I want to respond but I'm exhausted! Tomorrow i will. Spent all evening at dd's dance competition, gold for her musical theatre solo and gold for lyrical group!! So proud of her, h is sad he missed it. Tomorrow night is musical theatre group dance, and then tap and jazz groups on the weekend. Whew! When this is done, two more competitions in Apr! Oh my I'm tired thinking about it lol.
So proud of my baby girl
So proud of my baby girl
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Yay! Charley that is awesome! So proud of your baby girl too! Wow....I'm so happy for her and for your family! Are you going to celebrate on the weekend? I'll bet she was absolutely lovely! Just wonderful!
I wanted to respond to you too TOD. I'm so sorry for what you are going thru! I know you only mentioned your crying because of course it's true and you are a VERY truthful person and because you are so frustrated and not sure what to do. It must hurt! I can only imagine!
Just wish Jethro would see what he's doing and get off them! Didn't you tell me once that Jethro listens to your mother? Would it help if she were to approach him? What about his daughter? Does he listen to her? Is there anyone he'd listen to? How do you feel about interventions? I think it helps to uncover a persons addiction...and is usually the first step for getting a loved one to recognize their addiction and the fallacy of their ways. The next step is forcing them Into program. If Jethro isn't willing to listen to family members would he listen to his doctor if you were to explain what's happening? I know it's a big step to tattle to his doctor....but it's important for the doctor to know what's happening with his prescribed medication. It could even save a life and I feel it's the right thing to do if you suspect a loved ones addicted or abusing a medication that the doctor is prescribing
Of course these are your choices and only you can decide. In the meantime we are here for you!
I wanted to respond to you too TOD. I'm so sorry for what you are going thru! I know you only mentioned your crying because of course it's true and you are a VERY truthful person and because you are so frustrated and not sure what to do. It must hurt! I can only imagine!
Just wish Jethro would see what he's doing and get off them! Didn't you tell me once that Jethro listens to your mother? Would it help if she were to approach him? What about his daughter? Does he listen to her? Is there anyone he'd listen to? How do you feel about interventions? I think it helps to uncover a persons addiction...and is usually the first step for getting a loved one to recognize their addiction and the fallacy of their ways. The next step is forcing them Into program. If Jethro isn't willing to listen to family members would he listen to his doctor if you were to explain what's happening? I know it's a big step to tattle to his doctor....but it's important for the doctor to know what's happening with his prescribed medication. It could even save a life and I feel it's the right thing to do if you suspect a loved ones addicted or abusing a medication that the doctor is prescribing
Of course these are your choices and only you can decide. In the meantime we are here for you!
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TOD what happened with the VA possibly requiring Jethro to take classes in order to keep his pain meds going? I think you said they removed him from that group of people because of the hand surgery, but that's all over now isn't it? It would be good if the doctor would begin to taper him off. Do you think he would go along with it if the doctor pushed for it?
Now your secret is out. Baileys.. they make coffee creamers too. Well my husband will have 3 years next month and he has a drink upon occasion too. We have never been drinkers, so he really didn't have to modify his drinking. None of my family drinks, but once and a while we will go out somewhere with a group and something will be served. I have no idea what would happen if he has to take pain meds in the future, hopefully he will be able to take some of the ones that are made differently. I know a lot of people face this at some point and get through it, so not going to worry myself over it.
Blue isn't it warm there? The animals made it back into the bedroom.. LOL
Our cats are up in the night too. One always goes to my sons room and sleeps but they prowl around in the night too. The dog will sleep through.
I think you explained how Craft breaks things down into small measurable goals very well Blue, especially when asked out of the blue.. get it.. LOL
I didn't know they were having that interview Blue.. I haven't been reading at smart too much because I always come on late. Please post the podcast.. they are good speakers.
Charley, congratulations to your daughter.. and she got a gold in a solo too. I had a feeling she was very good from the way you talk about her dedication. Im sorry your husband missed it. sounds like it would have been hard every night but those are really big accomplishments for her. were you able to record it? How are you feeling while he's been gone? I hope everything has been going ok.
I might make tomorrow night a tv night.. and with that I will sneak away..
Now your secret is out. Baileys.. they make coffee creamers too. Well my husband will have 3 years next month and he has a drink upon occasion too. We have never been drinkers, so he really didn't have to modify his drinking. None of my family drinks, but once and a while we will go out somewhere with a group and something will be served. I have no idea what would happen if he has to take pain meds in the future, hopefully he will be able to take some of the ones that are made differently. I know a lot of people face this at some point and get through it, so not going to worry myself over it.
Blue isn't it warm there? The animals made it back into the bedroom.. LOL
Our cats are up in the night too. One always goes to my sons room and sleeps but they prowl around in the night too. The dog will sleep through.
I think you explained how Craft breaks things down into small measurable goals very well Blue, especially when asked out of the blue.. get it.. LOL
I didn't know they were having that interview Blue.. I haven't been reading at smart too much because I always come on late. Please post the podcast.. they are good speakers.
Charley, congratulations to your daughter.. and she got a gold in a solo too. I had a feeling she was very good from the way you talk about her dedication. Im sorry your husband missed it. sounds like it would have been hard every night but those are really big accomplishments for her. were you able to record it? How are you feeling while he's been gone? I hope everything has been going ok.
I might make tomorrow night a tv night.. and with that I will sneak away..
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Where is everyone?
Its still cold here at night, not like some people experience in other areas of the country so I shouldnt complain.
I ledt work late last night because I was about to go home and then I tried to respond to the other thread. Time got away, and when I left the security guard was worried about my driving home and he knew Mr Blue was out of town, so he asked me to call, let him know I got there ok. It was so thoughtful! I took him a couple muffins today and no! I didnt bake them myself. Last night he said he was gonna tell my boss I was working too hard. Omg he did. So my swipe card for the doors records in/out times too. He said for me to leave early tomorrow if I want. But now I feel guilty because I wasnt working, I was here. I decided I will only lewve early if I get all I need to done in time.
Clean, you and your husbunny dont sound like you need any counseling. I think hes a good guy from all you post and its clear he loves you very much. Your family is a good example for what I hope our future looks like.
Then I talked to Mr Blue but I couldnt tell him I was at work late or I would have needed to explain stuff. He sounds ok and told me lots of work stuff. But he wont be home this weekend. Now I will figure out some fun things for me to do.
Hope your feeling ok Charley. I saw where you said you dont feel safe here. Im sorry, just use pms. I did for a long time and I limit what I share here now. ((Charley)) Im so excited for your daughter! She must feel so good. Is it hard to watch her perform? You probably know how each move is supposed to go, and if there is a misstep or anything. I hope the other portions go just as well.
Its still cold here at night, not like some people experience in other areas of the country so I shouldnt complain.
I ledt work late last night because I was about to go home and then I tried to respond to the other thread. Time got away, and when I left the security guard was worried about my driving home and he knew Mr Blue was out of town, so he asked me to call, let him know I got there ok. It was so thoughtful! I took him a couple muffins today and no! I didnt bake them myself. Last night he said he was gonna tell my boss I was working too hard. Omg he did. So my swipe card for the doors records in/out times too. He said for me to leave early tomorrow if I want. But now I feel guilty because I wasnt working, I was here. I decided I will only lewve early if I get all I need to done in time.
Clean, you and your husbunny dont sound like you need any counseling. I think hes a good guy from all you post and its clear he loves you very much. Your family is a good example for what I hope our future looks like.
Then I talked to Mr Blue but I couldnt tell him I was at work late or I would have needed to explain stuff. He sounds ok and told me lots of work stuff. But he wont be home this weekend. Now I will figure out some fun things for me to do.
Hope your feeling ok Charley. I saw where you said you dont feel safe here. Im sorry, just use pms. I did for a long time and I limit what I share here now. ((Charley)) Im so excited for your daughter! She must feel so good. Is it hard to watch her perform? You probably know how each move is supposed to go, and if there is a misstep or anything. I hope the other portions go just as well.
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Blue you posted while I was typing lol ... I take so long to type, I write, read, rewrite, reread, lol, it's a process!
Also, please pm me when the podcast is up. We don't have any craft meetings in my province, and I'd love to hear some of it firsthand!
Also, please pm me when the podcast is up. We don't have any craft meetings in my province, and I'd love to hear some of it firsthand!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Hi everybody! Just a quick flyby!
We are experience a beautiful spring shower and thunderstorm! To think it's been at least 6 or 7 months since I've listen to this soothing sound.
Having a lack of technical expertise I've had to settle for a prerecord U-tube version to give you the feel of what I'm listening to here today. This is super close!
http://youtu.be/pxWuia7e3to
It's so soothing and relaxing! Makes me want to crawl back underneath the covers but no can do! Too much work to do. Oh poor me....boo hoo!
We are experience a beautiful spring shower and thunderstorm! To think it's been at least 6 or 7 months since I've listen to this soothing sound.
Having a lack of technical expertise I've had to settle for a prerecord U-tube version to give you the feel of what I'm listening to here today. This is super close!
http://youtu.be/pxWuia7e3to
It's so soothing and relaxing! Makes me want to crawl back underneath the covers but no can do! Too much work to do. Oh poor me....boo hoo!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Originally Posted by cleaninLI
Hi everybody! Just a quick flyby!
We are experience a beautiful spring shower and thunderstorm! To think it's been at least 6 or 7 months since I've listen to this soothing sound.
Having a lack of technical expertise I've had to settle for a prerecord U-tube version to give you the feel of what I'm listening to here today. This is super close!
http://youtu.be/pxWuia7e3to
It's so soothing and relaxing! Makes me want to crawl back underneath the covers but no can do! Too much work to do. Oh poor me....boo hoo!
We are experience a beautiful spring shower and thunderstorm! To think it's been at least 6 or 7 months since I've listen to this soothing sound.
Having a lack of technical expertise I've had to settle for a prerecord U-tube version to give you the feel of what I'm listening to here today. This is super close!
http://youtu.be/pxWuia7e3to
It's so soothing and relaxing! Makes me want to crawl back underneath the covers but no can do! Too much work to do. Oh poor me....boo hoo!
Um charley I thought you had a post and I was gonna reply, but now its gone.
If you dont feel safe on the forum today, we can use pm or go to Smart. Im sorry!
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Let's maybe go to Smart. I have problems typing on there, and it's almost end of the work day for me (and then it's off to dance comp!) so i'll try there tomorrow
I had a really nice long post about DD and dance and her friend drama and how i had to contact the mom today and how proud i was of being brave, and stuff for clean, and blue, and allfor, and tod, and it's removed, so i will retype later, leaving out any craft or smart stuff.
Butter, how are you? having seen anything from you lately. (((hugs)))
.
I had a really nice long post about DD and dance and her friend drama and how i had to contact the mom today and how proud i was of being brave, and stuff for clean, and blue, and allfor, and tod, and it's removed, so i will retype later, leaving out any craft or smart stuff.
Butter, how are you? having seen anything from you lately. (((hugs)))
.
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