Wholesome

I don't know why I'm so fcuking thick in the head that I can't get this part right. I cannot drink and control it! As soon as it enters my system all bets are off and I'm going to keep going until it's all gone or I pass out.

Why can't I accept this truth? I play constant head games with myself about it. I'm sure you all can relate. The absurd justifications.

How did you come to a place where you accepted that you could never ever drink again?

I know that it is a very personal experience but I'm interested if you are willing to share?

fini

i got up one morning after thirty-plus years of drinking and a gazillion tries to stay stopped and had my usual headache and my morning coffee and it hit me that i'm a drunk.

that's exactly how it came at me: i'm a drunk, a goddamn DRUNK!

not a person addicted to alcohol, or one with this little alcohol problem, or one who needs more willpower or...a drunk.

whole different level of understanding.

that was the end.

why it took so long, i don't know. but i've been told denial is a powerful thing
not saying you are denying; just what happened to me. moment of clarity.

BobArctor

I don't think I can never drink again. Instead, I don't think I can ever drink again.

It's somewhat easy this time, because the effect of drinking was consistently unpleasant for a while and I only endured it to become numb and then sleep. It's far from something I would want to experience again.

Soberpotamus

I think, for me, it was about coming to a place where the pains were significant enough that I had to examine myself, and I found that I'd created this loop, or habit, or rut. That I was essentially stuck - spinning my wheels.

I was also becoming concerned about any damage I'd done to my body, not to mention my brain and cognitive functions.

My new husband was extremely concerned as well.

Just three years prior, I'd watched my mom exist for two months as a vegetable in ICU on life support after what we believe was an intentional drug overdose on prescription meds, and then we had to let her go.

It had all just become too much. The drinking finally had to go. I couldn't sustain it without facing significant loss. I didn't want to become a pitiful drunk.

And I still had vague hopes and dreams of grad school, writing the book that had always seemed to escape me, and travel. So, I quit for all those reasons.

murrill

I had reached a point where I knew I would die if I did not quit, although I'll be honest: The idea of dying was not entirely off-putting at the time. I had exhausted every trick, every scheme, every ploy I could muster, and I simply could not drink without doing some kind of damage.
At first I was motivated by fear, and I doubt that would have sustained sobriety. Fortunately, I soon witnessed the joys of sobriety. I saw people who were, as they say, happy, joyous, and free. That's what I wanted.
It may seem like a small point, a rhetorical one, in fact, but it resulted in a huge shift: I no longer wanted to quit drinking; I wanted to be sober. There is a difference.

PurpleDan

When I realised it was going to kill me. And not just knowing in my head, but in my soul. I didn't go to AA because I knew I could never drink again. I just knew that my life was a mess and if I didn't get help, I'd die. And I kept it in the day...I just decided to not drink one day at a time. So don't think about never drinking again...maybe we can all go out to the bar/pub tomorrow and get wasted, but not today...

freshstart57

It is a choice for me - live one way and continue to drink, carrying on down the drain. Or make that final decision to quit for good and live a life worth living.

There is no gray area, no gradual phase in, no process. It was an event, the moment that decision was made. Blammo. And no relapse or fear of drinking again 'by accident'. There was only ever going to be one chance at this for me.

Are you ready to say yes to you and your life? Once you do, there will be no regrets. You can do this, Zenchaser.

ChancesAh

It was a slow process for me over a number of years. Minor medical issues, embarrassments, depression, seeing family members going stupid. I drunk everyday but not always to blackout. I could force myself to stop after 6 beers if I had to work the next day
BUT
Don't confuse acceptance of not being able to drink with confidence of not ever drinking again. You seem to know you can't drink and why but the struggle is for will power or strength / success in sobriety. In that regard for me it properly wasn't so much a slow process accepting it - it just took some time to own the problem

Ken33xx

I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

If I felt I could drink without problems developing I might. However, as sure as I am typing I have no doubt whatsoever I would blow it. The only question would be when.

And while it was apparent to others I had a problem for years I had to see it for myself.

Not just the, "I`m going to stop and truly mean it.... for the next few days or hours" because I did that for ten years.

I mean getting sick/tired of drinking and feeling bad all the time. To say nothing of having to clean up the problems associated with abusive drinking.

When I was ready I had no problem admitting I was powerless of alcohol and that my life was unmanageable. That much was very clear.

Friend Of Bill

Because you're not ready simplicity is we don't drink today I can't think I'm never going to drink again it's hard at times to understand the concept of one day at a time it takes going through the steps to discover one day at a time we have to be beat into a state of reasonableness when you're done you're done you have accepted it you just admitted it out loud Camaro inside to thine own self be true is step one then the remaining steps help us to perform spiritual surgery to face and be rid of with blocking us from peace and happiness it's one thing to admit it but it's very difficult to accept if we don't do any work just putting the drink down doesn't mean life is going through remarkably get better sober means not drunk a lot of people still remain the same kick the dogs smack the wife lock the kids in the basement treat people like crap a lot of people have to do it one minute one hour at a time but finding a group of people who are just like us and a person who can guide us is the miracle only we can help each other The Fellowship of AA is just that a fellowship people say AA doesn't work of course it doesn't it's a place where people meet we have to work at it we go to the fellowship and we work the program it is then that AA works... It tells us afterwards we will accept many things which we thought at first we're out of reach we have to do the work all we do is admit there's a problem and life is unmanageable then you become willing to believe something else can help us make a decision to turn our will over when the time comes the first three steps require no action then we face and get rid of our past four through seven it is then when you begin to clean up our past and live in the present one day at a time that we come to believe in a power greater than and turn out wwill and life over to our own conception of God search pretty simple fear fear fear once we identify the fear we walk through it you've done step 1 it says we admitted not we accepted

aasharon90

Once I made that admission I was powerless
over alcohol and my life became unmanageable
then I had to go further and accept that important
fact about my own addiction to begin the process
of healing.

Of course I had to be taught this process
because I had no idea how to stop the insanity
of drinking on my own. I had tried countless
times to only fail.

It wasn't that I was stupid, because Im
not. I had to learn that addiction is real
and it's a treatable sickness using a program
of recovery taught to me to incorporate
in all areas of my life.

Admit I was sick with an addiction.

Accept that fact that I was sick and
I couldn't control or manage it.

Believe that a program of recovery
could and would return my sanity
and help me live a day at a time free
from my addiction to alcohol that kept
me prisonor, captive for years.

I learned that its okay to ask for help.
That there are many members living
a life in recovery who proved to me
with their hope shared that if they
could remain sober a many one days
at a time then so could I.

I had to follow up my admission and
acceptance with action. My action
consisted of attending AA meetings,
listening, learning, absorbing and applying
many helpful suggestions and tools of
a recovery program in all my affairs to
achieve the promises as gifts of living a
sober life one day at a time.

With Willingness, Openmindedness
and Honesty I am Happier, Joyous and
Free from my addiction, TODAY.

So can you..!

Mountainmanbob

It helped me to stay sober once I realized that the one that I needed to keep an eye on was me. Self deception is the worst of my enemies.

When we are playing head games within our own minds and convincing ourselves that bad things may be good for us or that I may just get away with it this time or things will be different this time drinking -- we are only trying to fool ourselves.

For the ones who truly know of our condition would never think that we could or should drink again.

Let us remember
a fool is one who fools themself.

MB

strongtoolong

My life truly had become unmanageable. I could not hold down a decent job any longer, and I was tired of dealing with the day to day problems that being unemployed caused. I'm used to having a nice salary and being able to treat myself when I wanted. It's also not about being materialist either because I recently adopted a mindset of a minimalistic lifestyle. I also find much comfort in simply being able to know that I can pay my bills on time. It is a source of peacefulness for me and I currently don't have that peace in my life. I was slowly losing control of everything including my independence. I had the judicial system to worry about, family members in my business, and without a job I had to depend on others for money to pay bills and other needs.

After being ousted from my Mother's house, having a minor accident after drinking which should have warranted another DUI, 3 hospitals visits in a little over a month and a half, and concerned about dying from alcohol I decided if I progressed any further it would end up VERY bad.

So here I'm am today after my last hospitalization (a week ago) waiting for a call to be admitted to an inpatient facility for the second time in 2 years. I'm ready to get back to my regular lifestyle but without ANY alcohol.

Take everything day by day. Somethings will work themselves out others you will find the solution to, but don't overwhelm yourself. It will get better.