An Atheist Looking for a Sponsor
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 419
Hey damselfly,
I have run into the problem of not being able to do the HP thing too and I liked the way you put it. Not refusing, just not able. They like to frame it like you are rebelling, or backslidden or something when, really, you just can't see it. I have tried AA but I have always felt like I was a second class citizen with them and I just didn't need that.
I haven't read what everyone else here has said to you and I wanted to say my piece without even referring to any of that, not that they didn't have good stuff to say and I will check it out in a moment, but I have wondered, ok, without AA does this mean I have to do it on my own? And I have tried getting off of stuff on my own and I had to eventually realize that it simply wasn't working and I had to try something else. And that's what brought me to blogs -- getting out of my own head. This site, another one, and really anything I could find that talked about getting hold of one's self and getting on your feet. I find that reading other people stories and reflections to be very powerful medicine.
When I recall you wondering what thing will work for you, I think of something that Benjamin Franklin said: "Happiness is not some big thing. It's lots of little things put together." Maybe sobriety is that way too. Maybe it's not about some big thing you get right. Maybe it's about lots of little things you can do. And I wonder, how does the temptation to drink come at you? I think, for me, how it comes at me has a lot to do with how I fight back. This one lady was saying that she is always working to build her foundations and her safety nets so that she will not fall. For me, those things would be meditation, doing journal work, an attitude of gratitude, reading blogs, and yes, responding to some of them -- reaching out, service. Those are things I can do before I am under attack to use. But, I have found that when the temptation makes it move, none of those things are really things I can necessarily run to save me from my moment of crisis. Those things may lessen the frequency of the "attacks" but, if I am, say, just meditating when it "hits", it can pull me right up out of my chair and have me driving to score.
In those crisis moments, I go into chants -- mantras. I just overwhelm my mind with a repeated thing that I say and temptation just doesn't get a word in edgewise. I might do that for ten minutes or so, and then see if I am still tempted. I will look at the clock and tell myself that I will not use in this quarter hour, so I am living then from minute to minute. I just wanted to get back to you as a fellow non-HP-er. Keep the faith!! (Joke)
I am no sponsor, but if you want to talk, well, here I am.
I have run into the problem of not being able to do the HP thing too and I liked the way you put it. Not refusing, just not able. They like to frame it like you are rebelling, or backslidden or something when, really, you just can't see it. I have tried AA but I have always felt like I was a second class citizen with them and I just didn't need that.
I haven't read what everyone else here has said to you and I wanted to say my piece without even referring to any of that, not that they didn't have good stuff to say and I will check it out in a moment, but I have wondered, ok, without AA does this mean I have to do it on my own? And I have tried getting off of stuff on my own and I had to eventually realize that it simply wasn't working and I had to try something else. And that's what brought me to blogs -- getting out of my own head. This site, another one, and really anything I could find that talked about getting hold of one's self and getting on your feet. I find that reading other people stories and reflections to be very powerful medicine.
When I recall you wondering what thing will work for you, I think of something that Benjamin Franklin said: "Happiness is not some big thing. It's lots of little things put together." Maybe sobriety is that way too. Maybe it's not about some big thing you get right. Maybe it's about lots of little things you can do. And I wonder, how does the temptation to drink come at you? I think, for me, how it comes at me has a lot to do with how I fight back. This one lady was saying that she is always working to build her foundations and her safety nets so that she will not fall. For me, those things would be meditation, doing journal work, an attitude of gratitude, reading blogs, and yes, responding to some of them -- reaching out, service. Those are things I can do before I am under attack to use. But, I have found that when the temptation makes it move, none of those things are really things I can necessarily run to save me from my moment of crisis. Those things may lessen the frequency of the "attacks" but, if I am, say, just meditating when it "hits", it can pull me right up out of my chair and have me driving to score.
In those crisis moments, I go into chants -- mantras. I just overwhelm my mind with a repeated thing that I say and temptation just doesn't get a word in edgewise. I might do that for ten minutes or so, and then see if I am still tempted. I will look at the clock and tell myself that I will not use in this quarter hour, so I am living then from minute to minute. I just wanted to get back to you as a fellow non-HP-er. Keep the faith!! (Joke)
I am no sponsor, but if you want to talk, well, here I am.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: SoCal
Posts: 76
I just wanted to say thank you again for all of the feedback. It has been very helpful in getting my head sorted out. There is much I love about AA, but for now I have decided to go with a non-12-step approach, and it seems to be working so far.
I hope everyone is having a happy and sober day, and I'll be seeing you around the forums. :-)
I hope everyone is having a happy and sober day, and I'll be seeing you around the forums. :-)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 6
Facebook has plenty of closed and secret groups for Atheists/Freethinkers/Agnostics in AA. While many atheists feel comfortable in regular AA meetings, others have started AA for Atheists & Agnostics groups. There's about 300 now. There is website with a world directory - google AA NYC agnostic groups. There is a world convention in Austin November 2016, google WAAFTIAAC. There are podcasts and blogs and online communities. Anyone in AA who doesn't believe in a personal, sobriety granting, higher power can find community among other members - some with decades of sobriety who don't pray or believe in divine intervention. I tapped into this community and it has renewed my interest in AA.
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