Nar-anon/Al-anon alternatives?

[Daisy09]

Hi all,

Does anyone know of any sort of "help me deal with this" kind of program other than nar-anon? I know there's lot's of alternatives for the addicted person, but what about f&f? I'm not really feeling the whole higher power thing, and it seems as though most of the people on f&f are.

Just as an update, my husband is still using, but has an appointment on Tuesday for an "evaluation" for a Suboxone program, so I'm kind of in this weird in-between kind of state and not really dealing well with it.

Thanks for any help you can give,
Daisy

[Eroica]

I would be interested in knowing about alternatives to Al anon as well.

Daisy, what do u need help with other than receiving support from other people with addicted family members? If you don't believe you're a codependent or sick in some way, then a recovery program probably won't do u any good. I wish your husband well.

[Daisy09]

Originally Posted by Eroica

If you don't believe you're a codependent or sick in some way, then a recovery program probably won't do u any good. I wish your husband well.

What I'm looking for, Eroica, are other people who can relate to what I am going through. People who I can see and talk to face to face. People who won't think I'm some kind of freak loser for being married to a junkie. Not a recovery program, but a support network. People on the outside of a situation like this don't really understand or empathize. They pity you, and then they walk away for fear of getting involved.

In addition, I DO need to recover...from the shock, grief and loss I'm feeling. My life, as I knew it, is gone, irrevicably changed, and I'm pretty freaked out about it...

[Bamboozle]

Hello, Daisy. I was surfing the net and came across a suggestion to call a hospital or mental health facility and see if they have a substance abuse program. If they do, you can ask them if they have a family program.

[shockozulu]

The SMART Recovery tools are very helpful for those of us who need to deal with family members who are addicted. However, if you are looking for peer support, I don't think they will fill that bill as they are more "tool" oriented.

[KariSue]

I don't know of any place but I did go to a couple of NarAnon meetings.

It's strange cause at the first one the leader of the group said that if you don't believe in a higher power just pretend you do. I wondered if he was a non believer.

I couldn't exactly do that but thinking about it later, I thought he probably meant "just realize that there are some things, as humans, that we just can't control so just realize that and act accordingly".

The holding hands in the circle and saying the serenity prayer aren't my cup of tea but I just fake it. We started each meeting with taking turns reading out of the book of 12 steps, etc. Luckily, my turn wasn't on the higher power part. If it had been I would have politely said that I'm an atheist and I'd prefer not to read.

The benefits of being in the group are good if you can just ignore the higher power stuff. I just felt the positivies outweighed the negatives in that situation. That said, I wish there was something for non believers.

Just my thoughts....

KariSue

[JenT1968]

Hi,
in the UK, where I am, and specifically in the little back-water where I live, AL-anon is the only game in town. I got myself some counselling and its been wonderful.

Before the therapy, I found myself getting sucked into the "sicker than the alcoholic" stuff, which, because of the self-destructive, self-loathing cycle I was in at the time, I found was harmful to me. I was entirely unable to take what I wanted "and leave the rest".

I am now at a point where I feel strong enough in myself to go back to AL-anon for the peer support, because the people were wonderful, and many of the aspects of the programme I believe are helpful and useful to leading a happy life. I am also less likely to have a psychotic break due to slogan overload ;-p

I am going to try and get a sponsor too, I'll see whether working those steps without an interventionist, HP-with-a-plan has any milage, if it doesn't I know I won't have lost anything, and will have had a chance to spend some time doing some structured self-improvement work for free.

I have heard rumours that our local government-funded treatment (talking therapies) alcohol and drug team has peer support groups for families, although I don't know if these are 12 step based, but you could look into that too.

[miss communicat]

I've worked with the ICHing for over 20 years as a tool (understatement) for improving my persoanal relations with others, and that includes challenging people,my understanding of the rhythms of the cosmos, and learning to listen to my inner truth within.
"The Guide to the I Ching", by Carol Anthony is especially helpful for codependency issues. Its written with a language that is concise, practical and exquisitely clear. It always applies to the situation. for me, anyway.

I think of it as uber Alanon

[shockozulu]

miss communicat, that's the second or third time I've heard people get good recovery from that book. I'll pick it up next time I'm at the bookstore. I also get a lot out of my pocket edition of Tao Teh Ching.

[miss communicat]

my former sponsor worked extensively with that author in workshops and groups. I think of her as one of my grand sponsors in a way. We have a group centered on that book called Sage Steps. Its awesome!