anyone here go to meetings for a few years and then stop? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

bob_sapp · 04-14-2008, 04:01 PM

^^topic. Did you go to 12 step meetings for a few years, then stop and stay sober doing something non-12 step related for recovery?

ananda · 04-14-2008, 06:31 PM

I went to AA for years, then quit going. I continued to be deeply involved in my spiritual path for about 2 or 3 years after that....stayed sober. then I slowly stopped focusing on my spiritual path, and after a total of 7 years sober I drank again. I drank for 8 years and it was bad.

I have concluded that I need both AA and my spiritual path in order to stay sober. I can't do one without the other.

sekular · 04-14-2008, 10:16 PM

Bob,

I did many things in the first four years of my recovery including twelve-step work. I eventually felt stagnated in the twelve-step recovery rooms and knew that I had to move beyond this. The problem was that there was no other option out there.

I Googled AA alternatives and much to my surprise found LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR). I eventually organized and started the first LifeRing Secular Recovery meeting in Victoria this past January 2008. A second and third meeting will be starting the first week of May.

LifeRing has changed my whole outlook on recovery. No higher power, no steps, no sponsor, no God, no guilt and no labelling yourself an alcoholic or addict.

There are many paths to recovery!

bob_sapp · 04-14-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sekular

There are many paths to recovery!

I agree, I think it's just tough because none of them get much publicity. If someone works for one person, then it works period. Lots of things I like about AA, somethings I don't... it's just where I ended up, got sober, and made friends. I admit I hate the labeling of addict and alcoholic. If there were lifering or other meetings in my city I would check them out at least to see what it was like.

windysan · 04-15-2008, 04:18 AM

Went to meeting for a coupla years after rehab. I'm too stupid to understand Gawd and the 12 steps so I quit going. Also, court-mandated dopers were selling dope after meetings....not a good place to be. I've been solo for about 3 years.

Leo_the_Cat · 04-15-2008, 07:37 PM

I went to AA for about 2 1/2 years. During that time I relapsed twice. After I the second relapse i went to residential treatment for 30 days (which was mostly 12 step based). After I finished the treatment program my AA attendance fell off. I was probably setting myself up to relapse, but when it got time to relapse, I didn't feel like getting high or drinking. I haven't used or drank since the summer of 2005. I don't really do anything to stay sober, except remember how miserable the end was and how much more I would lose if I started again - for instance the cat that is my name sake.

NoelleR · 04-15-2008, 08:24 PM

Well....I guess it's my time to put in my 2-cents worth...

"Did you go to 12 step meetings for a few years, then stop and stay sober doing something non-12 step related for recovery?"

When I first got sober (yes, in AA) it took about 6 months to get me out of living in my truck into an apartment; at about that same time I became somewhat employable, so I had a job and an income too....after that, I still went to meetings and working the 12 steps....cause outside of work and home, I had no life.....lol

As the years passed, I started to get more and more of a life, and my meetings got fewer and fewer....till they just weren't there anymore....that was about 17/18 years ago. I didn't do anyting non 12-step related for my recovery (I just was......recovered)....I just live my life....to the fullest....and luvin every minute of it; I'm clean and sober and serene...and lovin' life..... (o:

NoelleR

Zencat · 04-16-2008, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ananda

I went to AA for years, then quit going. I continued to be deeply involved in my spiritual path for about 2 or 3 years after that....stayed sober. then I slowly stopped focusing on my spiritual path, and after a total of 7 years sober I drank again. I drank for 8 years and it was bad.

I have concluded that I need both AA and my spiritual path in order to stay sober. I can't do one without the other.

I take the answer to the topic question would be no.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bob_sapp

^^topic. Did you go to 12 step meetings for a few years, then stop and stay sober doing something non-12 step related for recovery?

I did stop going to AA at one point in my recovery and then attended college
working towards an addiction counselors state certificate but I quit that when I relapsed. So my answer is no it didn't work out to well.

ananda · 04-16-2008, 08:54 PM

I see your point,

but then again it didn't say stay sober until you died

So I used something else to stay sober for a number of years.

Then again - I'm doing both now

Oh well......

LogCabin · 04-19-2008, 04:16 PM

I found lots of info on the site. Looks very interesting to me.

I started here:

Frequently Asked Questions

Then clicked on the book.
Recovery By Choice

Oh, and here is what the Media area provides...
LifeRing in the Media

And the first official Congress of LifeRing...(and previous congresses)
Previous LifeRing Congresses

Eroica · 04-19-2008, 05:22 PM

I've never heard of LifeRing..Thanks for link, logcabin. Seems similar to SMART in the use of worksheets and figuring out triggers.

-Eroica

LosingmyMisery · 04-19-2008, 05:46 PM

I haven't been to a meeting for two years now, still sober.

LogCabin · 04-19-2008, 09:54 PM

I forgot to answer the original question.

I stopped going to meetings about 6 months after I got clean and sober. So I made it two years without meetings. I was mostly happy, and feeling strong in my sobrity. The only downfalls were going through so many jobs.

Now I am giving AA a chance again after relapsing, but I also am really glad I found this Smart and LifeRing. Since the religious part of AA is still never going to work for me. Meditation, and self growth are fine, and the social networking is great. But I still need something else. And I think these other groups are very sucessful from what little info I have heard about compairing them to AA.

No question, Isolation, is not good for me. So being in groups of support and understanding is very healthy for me.

Bottom line for me...I will take and use anything, and everything I can, meaning see, hear, feel, and touch to stay clean and sober.

Yardbird · 04-20-2008, 01:51 PM

I've been going to AA meetings for about a year and a half, but I've stopped the last couple of months--I've only been to one in three weeks. This isolation thing isn't good for me either, and I know the meetings have helped me, but I just feel so damn awkward at them. I'm not good at socializing and it feels like everyone knows everyone else at these meetings, so I always slip out as quickly as possible after the closing prayer. It's painfully awkward and just makes me remember why I wanted to drink in the first place.

I don't know if any of the secular alternatives would be any better since it isn't even the spiritual stuff that really bothers me (and if it did, there are secular AA meetings here).
I've been a jerk about calling my sponsor too, and he's been nothing but kind to me.

Sorry for whining, and not really on topic either. Lousy day. Maybe I've talked myself into going to a meeting again....ugh.

Barto · 04-20-2008, 03:47 PM

I guess I identify with you most Ananda. I stopped going to meetings after about ten or twelve years of sobriety. Life was great for a few, maybe even several, years; but then it got bad, real bad. It seemed like it got bad in a hurry, but in looking back, I was making bad decisions all along that eventually caught up to me.

I went back to AA somewhat reluctantly. I’ve since retaken The Steps a few times and I have been getting more involved in the fellowship. It’s been over twenty years since my last drink – [I believe] thanks to AA. I think I needed to be shown that drinking wasn’t really my problem; I was my problem.

Now I believe there is more than enough room in my life to be active in AA and to do everything else I want.

bob_sapp · 04-20-2008, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barto

I guess I identify with you most Ananda. I stopped going to meetings after about ten or twelve years of sobriety. Life was great for a few, maybe even several, years; but then it got bad, real bad. It seemed like it got bad in a hurry, but in looking back, I was making bad decisions all along that eventually caught up to me.

I went back to AA somewhat reluctantly. I’ve since retaken The Steps a few times and I have been getting more involved in the fellowship. It’s been over twenty years since my last drink – [I believe] thanks to AA. I think I needed to be shown that drinking wasn’t really my problem; I was my problem.

Now I believe there is more than enough room in my life to be active in AA and to do everything else I want.

I think when we get the heat off us, we forget why we came in, and what the real problem is like you said. Whether we go back drinking, stop going to meetings, whatever, it's because we forgot something and got proud.

LosingmyMisery · 04-20-2008, 06:08 PM

I guess it boils down to why we left.

Taking5 · 04-21-2008, 12:16 AM

Quote:

court-mandated dopers were selling dope after meetings....not a good place to be.

My experience as well. I went to closed AA meetings as alcohol was my problem. They are even more hard core than the open meetings.

I went to AA, then quit AA, then relapsed, then quit drinking, back to AA, quit AA, relapsed and quit drinking again without AA. So I guess I have not been too successful. I both like and dislike AA for all the reasons mentioned in this thread, except I (strangely) have no problem with the Higher Power concept. I just don't think I will find him/her/it in an AA room.

**shockozulu** · 04-21-2008, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LosingmyMisery

I guess it boils down to why we left.

Agree. I stopped going because they weren't helping me. In all honesty, NA meetings pulled on triggers that made me want to use.

I did SMART Meetings for a while, and I still use those tools in my daily life, not just in terms of using but also with daily problems.

Tommyh · 05-20-2008, 08:38 PM

I drifted away from aa once for maybe 4 or 5 years.I might have made 4-6 meetings a year.
I had a hard time with anger,well,rage more like it.I was like a madman..
I allmost drank 3 times.I went back to AA, got back into the big book and the steps and been ok since.I have found out it is the people in AA I need as much as the steps and meetings.I need to be around alcoholics or I tend to forget somethings.

04-14-2008, 04:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
bob_sapp Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: witness protection program Posts: 378	anyone here go to meetings for a few years and then stop? ^^topic. Did you go to 12 step meetings for a few years, then stop and stay sober doing something non-12 step related for recovery?

04-19-2008, 05:46 PM	#12 (permalink)
LosingmyMisery Today's Muse Join Date: May 2007 Location: West end Posts: 1,047 Blog Entries: 3	I haven't been to a meeting for two years now, still sober. __________________ "Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness."

04-20-2008, 06:08 PM	#17 (permalink)
LosingmyMisery Today's Muse Join Date: May 2007 Location: West end Posts: 1,047 Blog Entries: 3	I guess it boils down to why we left. __________________ "Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness."

04-14-2008, 06:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 12,048 Blog Entries: 1	I went to AA for years, then quit going. I continued to be deeply involved in my spiritual path for about 2 or 3 years after that....stayed sober. then I slowly stopped focusing on my spiritual path, and after a total of 7 years sober I drank again. I drank for 8 years and it was bad. I have concluded that I need both AA and my spiritual path in order to stay sober. I can't do one without the other.

04-14-2008, 10:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
sekular Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 9	Bob, I did many things in the first four years of my recovery including twelve-step work. I eventually felt stagnated in the twelve-step recovery rooms and knew that I had to move beyond this. The problem was that there was no other option out there. I Googled AA alternatives and much to my surprise found LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR). I eventually organized and started the first LifeRing Secular Recovery meeting in Victoria this past January 2008. A second and third meeting will be starting the first week of May. LifeRing has changed my whole outlook on recovery. No higher power, no steps, no sponsor, no God, no guilt and no labelling yourself an alcoholic or addict. There are many paths to recovery!

04-15-2008, 04:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
windysan Big Idiot Man Child Join Date: May 2004 Location: La Posts: 5,769	Went to meeting for a coupla years after rehab. I'm too stupid to understand Gawd and the 12 steps so I quit going. Also, court-mandated dopers were selling dope after meetings....not a good place to be. I've been solo for about 3 years.

04-15-2008, 07:37 PM	#6 (permalink)
Leo_the_Cat Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago IL Posts: 67	I went to AA for about 2 1/2 years. During that time I relapsed twice. After I the second relapse i went to residential treatment for 30 days (which was mostly 12 step based). After I finished the treatment program my AA attendance fell off. I was probably setting myself up to relapse, but when it got time to relapse, I didn't feel like getting high or drinking. I haven't used or drank since the summer of 2005. I don't really do anything to stay sober, except remember how miserable the end was and how much more I would lose if I started again - for instance the cat that is my name sake.

04-15-2008, 08:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
NoelleR Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 1,327	Well....I guess it's my time to put in my 2-cents worth... "Did you go to 12 step meetings for a few years, then stop and stay sober doing something non-12 step related for recovery?" When I first got sober (yes, in AA) it took about 6 months to get me out of living in my truck into an apartment; at about that same time I became somewhat employable, so I had a job and an income too....after that, I still went to meetings and working the 12 steps....cause outside of work and home, I had no life.....lol As the years passed, I started to get more and more of a life, and my meetings got fewer and fewer....till they just weren't there anymore....that was about 17/18 years ago. I didn't do anyting non 12-step related for my recovery (I just was......recovered)....I just live my life....to the fullest....and luvin every minute of it; I'm clean and sober and serene...and lovin' life..... (o: NoelleR

04-16-2008, 08:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 12,048 Blog Entries: 1	I see your point, but then again it didn't say stay sober until you died So I used something else to stay sober for a number of years. Then again - I'm doing both now Oh well......

04-19-2008, 04:16 PM	#10 (permalink)
LogCabin Seriously Fun! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: California coast Posts: 415	I found lots of info on the site. Looks very interesting to me. I started here: Frequently Asked Questions Then clicked on the book. Recovery By Choice Oh, and here is what the Media area provides... LifeRing in the Media And the first official Congress of LifeRing...(and previous congresses) Previous LifeRing Congresses

04-19-2008, 05:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
Eroica Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Htown, baby! Posts: 384	I've never heard of LifeRing..Thanks for link, logcabin. Seems similar to SMART in the use of worksheets and figuring out triggers. -Eroica

04-19-2008, 09:54 PM	#13 (permalink)
LogCabin Seriously Fun! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: California coast Posts: 415	I forgot to answer the original question. I stopped going to meetings about 6 months after I got clean and sober. So I made it two years without meetings. I was mostly happy, and feeling strong in my sobrity. The only downfalls were going through so many jobs. Now I am giving AA a chance again after relapsing, but I also am really glad I found this Smart and LifeRing. Since the religious part of AA is still never going to work for me. Meditation, and self growth are fine, and the social networking is great. But I still need something else. And I think these other groups are very sucessful from what little info I have heard about compairing them to AA. No question, Isolation, is not good for me. So being in groups of support and understanding is very healthy for me. Bottom line for me...I will take and use anything, and everything I can, meaning see, hear, feel, and touch to stay clean and sober.

04-20-2008, 01:51 PM	#14 (permalink)
Yardbird Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 57	I've been going to AA meetings for about a year and a half, but I've stopped the last couple of months--I've only been to one in three weeks. This isolation thing isn't good for me either, and I know the meetings have helped me, but I just feel so damn awkward at them. I'm not good at socializing and it feels like everyone knows everyone else at these meetings, so I always slip out as quickly as possible after the closing prayer. It's painfully awkward and just makes me remember why I wanted to drink in the first place. I don't know if any of the secular alternatives would be any better since it isn't even the spiritual stuff that really bothers me (and if it did, there are secular AA meetings here). I've been a jerk about calling my sponsor too, and he's been nothing but kind to me. Sorry for whining, and not really on topic either. Lousy day. Maybe I've talked myself into going to a meeting again....ugh.

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04-20-2008, 03:47 PM	#15 (permalink)
Barto Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Righthere, Rightnow Posts: 1,497	I guess I identify with you most Ananda. I stopped going to meetings after about ten or twelve years of sobriety. Life was great for a few, maybe even several, years; but then it got bad, real bad. It seemed like it got bad in a hurry, but in looking back, I was making bad decisions all along that eventually caught up to me. I went back to AA somewhat reluctantly. I’ve since retaken The Steps a few times and I have been getting more involved in the fellowship. It’s been over twenty years since my last drink – [I believe] thanks to AA. I think I needed to be shown that drinking wasn’t really my problem; I was my problem. Now I believe there is more than enough room in my life to be active in AA and to do everything else I want.

05-20-2008, 08:38 PM	#20 (permalink)
Tommyh Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 18,951	I drifted away from aa once for maybe 4 or 5 years.I might have made 4-6 meetings a year. I had a hard time with anger,well,rage more like it.I was like a madman.. I allmost drank 3 times.I went back to AA, got back into the big book and the steps and been ok since.I have found out it is the people in AA I need as much as the steps and meetings.I need to be around alcoholics or I tend to forget somethings.