Meetings - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

paulmh · 04-11-2008, 04:05 AM

Why is it that sometimes - often - a meeting can just make us feel a whole lot better?

I went to one last night, became a newcomers meeting. It felt magical. Using "magical" as shorthand for "stuff happens for which I have no adequate explanation, primarily because I don't have an education in group psychology".

I dunno. There is so much benefit in the power of fellowship, maybe because our condition is one of such loneliness? Aloneness? Sometimes, when I look back on my drinking and the life that went with that, I felt so incomplete. Separate. I can still feel like that, if I don't work on the "maintenance of my spiritual condition" - to borrow an AA metaphor. And then, at a meeting, I can be reminded, in a hug or a quiet word, or in the honest shares of my friends for the ketotic newcomer, that it doesn't have to be like that.

nolonger · 04-11-2008, 08:44 PM

Thanks for that Paul. Lovely little post. "Honest" jumped out at me from it. Haven't been to an AA meeting in quite a while, but when I did, there were days when I was so moved I could have cried all the way home, just at the sense of people trying sincerely to lay aside the bullshit and posturing and competition and fronting - or just the banality - of so much of what and how we communicate every day. No such thing as *complete* sincerity, or honesty, I suppose, but that's not the point: to be in the presence of a warm, easy, focussed effort to speak freely and openly is quite something. And that this communication happens not just for its own sake, but to help alleviate others' suffering. That's magic too.

Then there's a sort of present-ness, you know? I eat really badly - always too fast, gobbling the food down like someone was going to take it away. Too many meals eaten alone maybe. Anyway, I've taken to pausing before I eat, just for a few seconds, to concentrate on what I'm going to eat, to be happy that I have some good food to fill me up, that I'm not hungry, to appreciate the taste of it and the feeling of filling myself up, to be aware of what I'm doing and content that I'm doing it. (A kind of atheist's grace before meals, natch.)

What's that to do with AA? Well, I guess I wanted to say that a meeting is a kind of pause-into-the-present like that too, but a pause together. And, again, not just for its own sake, or for my own sake, but personal and more than personal, at the same time.

thwartnot · 04-19-2008, 11:12 PM

thanks paul
i recently attended my first na and then ma meetings.
i felt really good after nand i still do

paulmh · 04-20-2008, 12:14 PM

Welcome buddy.

Keep going. There's something special in those rooms.

LogCabin · 04-20-2008, 04:49 PM

I always feel much better (most of the time) when I go to a meeting. And for me it really is simple. I love being with a group of people who understand me, and share similar histories of addiction. It helps me so very much to know I am not alone.

And yes...the love and laughter help so very much!

aprilflower · 05-03-2008, 05:18 PM

yeah' I used to love my NA meetins. the love and support I felt was good enough to keep me sober and clean for another day. Lately, I have been resistant to attending because I can not locate a rational recovery group or one with out the God dependency.
My recovery is humanistic and the help I give and receive comes from humans and is for humans. I get caught up in the continuous God training I hear at these meetings and it distracts me from the purpose of why I am there. To get help and give it.

miss communicat · 05-12-2008, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paulmh

Why is it that sometimes - often - a meeting can just make us feel a whole lot better?

I went to one last night, became a newcomers meeting. It felt magical. Using "magical" as shorthand for "stuff happens for which I have no adequate explanation, primarily because I don't have an education in group psychology".

I dunno. There is so much benefit in the power of fellowship, maybe because our condition is one of such loneliness? Aloneness? Sometimes, when I look back on my drinking and the life that went with that, I felt so incomplete. Separate. I can still feel like that, if I don't work on the "maintenance of my spiritual condition" - to borrow an AA metaphor. And then, at a meeting, I can be reminded, in a hug or a quiet word, or in the honest shares of my friends for the ketotic newcomer, that it doesn't have to be like that.

Paul,

hmmmmmm.I often wonder too, what is *it* that happens in a group of drunks who are not drinking, gathering together to connect in a singleness of purpose.

I think thats *it*!! A group of drunks, who are not drinking.....a sober drunk which in itself is a miracle, thus compounded by the number of bodies present at any meeting.............there's some juice right there

and

getting these sober mracles of mental health to gather together for an hour with a singleness of purpose, which is to help one another. now, that is powerful.

sitting in the presence of this is like being metal shavings sitting near to a strong magnet.

in a meeting, i am able to rivet my attentionally deficient sieve of a brain in a focused way, unlike any other part of my day. this, in turn, relaxes my brain and softens my humanness.

and did i mention, it feels good?

Zencat · 05-13-2008, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paulmh

Why is it that sometimes - often - a meeting can just make us feel a whole lot better?.....

For me that happens during Group at the clinic. I feel empowered by the validation I receive in my choice of a personal recovery plan. It is very rewarding to feel the praise of other members as I am recognized for the work I do to keep myself sober.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aprilflower

.......My recovery is humanistic and the help I give and receive comes from humans and is for humans. I get caught up in the continuous God training I hear at these meetings and it distracts me from the purpose of why I am there. To get help and give it.

Me too. I like to remind my self the real reason I am sober: help from caring others. Thats why I choose groups at the clinic. I'm not distracted by mythology and all that confusing stuff that goes with it. I just want to get sober not converted into myth beliefs.

freespirit1980 · 06-08-2008, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aprilflower

yeah' I used to love my NA meetins. the love and support I felt was good enough to keep me sober and clean for another day. Lately, I have been resistant to attending because I can not locate a rational recovery group or one with out the God dependency.
My recovery is humanistic and the help I give and receive comes from humans and is for humans. I get caught up in the continuous God training I hear at these meetings and it distracts me from the purpose of why I am there. To get help and give it.

April:

I can completely identify with every word. Personally, I am into Eastern Mysticism -- Buddism, Taoism and Yoga. None of these mention the word God, which I just don't believe in, but are practical paths to living this life in the here and now!

windysan · 06-19-2008, 06:48 AM

the last few meetings i went to a coupla years ago really gave me the creeps.

Zencat · 06-22-2008, 07:42 PM

Windy....lol.

I went to a meeting the other day and thought there was going to be a baptism afterward. I guess some meetings really focus on God.

Tommyh · 06-25-2008, 05:06 PM

I believe there is a force within us,and when we come together,it multiplies it`s goodness,I call it the Higher Power

do these words sound familier?
where two or more are gathered....

TTOSBT · 06-25-2008, 05:11 PM

I love my meetings!
If the God thing bugs, can't you just mentally replace their word God with higher power?

austingemini · 07-04-2008, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TTOSBT

I love my meetings!
If the God thing bugs, can't you just mentally replace their word God with higher power?

What if you don't believe in a higher power? Meaning Atheist rather than Agnostic.

**shockozulu** · 07-04-2008, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by austingemini

What if you don't believe in a higher power? Meaning Atheist rather than Agnostic.

Higher Power doesn't need to be a spiritual substitute. It can be what some in AA follow (GOD = Group Of Drunks). There are many alternatives.

For me, my HP in recovery is my notebook of SMART tools. Although I'm religious my recovery is Secular. When it comes to the one thing that gives me the ability to fight my addiction, its the notebook of directions and tools I've downloaded from the SMART Website.

Maybe someone else can share their Secular HP?

austingemini · 07-04-2008, 12:48 PM

Thanks Alera. Appreciate that. Good perspective. Are these 'smart' tools available somewhere I can see online?

ananda · 07-04-2008, 03:53 PM

I don't believe in god....but have lots of hps---a big one is the law of cause and effect. You know a tornado and lot of things in nature are powers greater than me in many ways.

a path to living that works is a higher power for me.

Just some thoughts.

**shockozulu** · 07-04-2008, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by austingemini

Thanks Alera. Appreciate that. Good perspective. Are these 'smart' tools available somewhere I can see online?

They sure are: SMART Recovery® - Tool Chest and Homework

Jackalope · 07-17-2008, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alera

Higher Power doesn't need to be a spiritual substitute. It can be what some in AA follow (GOD = Group Of Drunks). There are many alternatives.

For me, my HP in recovery is my notebook of SMART tools. Although I'm religious my recovery is Secular. When it comes to the one thing that gives me the ability to fight my addiction, its the notebook of directions and tools I've downloaded from the SMART Website.

Maybe someone else can share their Secular HP?

I started with using my home group as "that thing greater than myself". It helps that my home group is a loud and obnoxious men's stag meeting daily. The group consciousness of us men joined together in recovery is certainly greater than myself.

Now I've evolved my higher power into what I call my "god-self". I'm still an atheist but I think there is something true and pure in all of us that knows right from wrong. That what I'm trying to tap into these days.

Mala09 · 07-18-2008, 07:55 AM

I love my meetings -- in some ways I do thimk the willingness, and expectations of community and readiness to identify will in part determine the quality of one's experience of the meetings. The more I participate the more involved I feel.

Simple really.

Love

Mala

windysan · 07-18-2008, 08:16 AM

I just changed my behavior. I don't need to go to meetings unless I want to feel like I want to get high. LOL

LogCabin · 07-18-2008, 09:19 AM

Oh Windy....you crack me up so much.

I think I am going to try and find a Smart meeting around here. I know they are here somewhere. Thanks for that link, Alera.

But being a female that needs to feel the "positive vibes" of lots of love and compassion...meetings do nurture my lonely heart. And I have no fear of them getting me to believe in some thinking enity. Just not going to happen.

thwartnot · 05-01-2009, 09:23 AM

im happy to report that this past april 12 was my one year anniversary of sobriety. i have been going to MA meetings and really find it rewarding. Its important to work the program and it feels good.

here are the keys ive found to easily working the program and achieving sobriety.

1- attend meetings at least once a week.
2-get a sponsor.
3-take on commitments.
4-use the phone.
5-decide you want it and live off the power of getting your way with yourself. staying straight for yourself feels so good its like being super duper high. marijuana-anonymous.org

thanks for letting me share
thwartnot

nelco · 05-01-2009, 09:54 AM

Stuff happens for me too Paul and I get an enormous sense of well being. I also love fellowship and no longer feel alone. But there are so many other benefits for me ....the list is endless. Im really looking forward to my meeting in the morning, I always hear something I need to hear and I may also get a chance to help someone ......and thats one sure way to take me out of self!!

ananda · 05-01-2009, 11:09 AM

another thing for my list.....i need to be at more meetings....and i do mean BE at...not just sitting in the chair

Glad this post came back up....i'm stuggling to stay centered these days...I went to a meeting Wedneday and i sat and thoughtt about other stuff almost the entire time....The reading was one of my favorites, but all I could hear when i bothered to tune in was the things i don't like that people say instead of the commonality.

I really seem to connect better when people share the exact expereince...the details of a particular situation, what they did and what happened than to genaric shares mostly straight from the book...sorta a rah rah the program works...nothing i can really grasp...

I seem to have no focus on helping others in meetings...seem to have gotten myself stopped up in that respect!

Going to my homegroup tonight, and i seem to get more and give more in those meetings...so hopefully that will help me get back on track....

anyways..just where i am at in meetings...problem, not connecting, solution, go to places where that is more likely to happen and pay attention a little more

04-11-2008, 04:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
paulmh Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: UK Posts: 1,373	Meetings Why is it that sometimes - often - a meeting can just make us feel a whole lot better? I went to one last night, became a newcomers meeting. It felt magical. Using "magical" as shorthand for "stuff happens for which I have no adequate explanation, primarily because I don't have an education in group psychology". I dunno. There is so much benefit in the power of fellowship, maybe because our condition is one of such loneliness? Aloneness? Sometimes, when I look back on my drinking and the life that went with that, I felt so incomplete. Separate. I can still feel like that, if I don't work on the "maintenance of my spiritual condition" - to borrow an AA metaphor. And then, at a meeting, I can be reminded, in a hug or a quiet word, or in the honest shares of my friends for the ketotic newcomer, that it doesn't have to be like that. __________________ It all works. It IS simple Miss C Give up hope of a better past.

04-20-2008, 12:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
paulmh Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: UK Posts: 1,373	Welcome buddy. Keep going. There's something special in those rooms. __________________ It all works. It IS simple Miss C Give up hope of a better past.

06-22-2008, 07:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
Zencat ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶ Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ventura Co. California USA Posts: 6,000 Blog Entries: 9	Windy....lol. I went to a meeting the other day and thought there was going to be a baptism afterward. I guess some meetings really focus on God. __________________ My ❀ Name ☯ Is ❤ Will G ☞ 禅 “Our minds are information vacuums. Either we fill them with thoughts of our choosing or someone else will.” ― Ray Davis

05-01-2009, 11:09 AM	#25 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 11,908 Blog Entries: 1	another thing for my list.....i need to be at more meetings....and i do mean BE at...not just sitting in the chair Glad this post came back up....i'm stuggling to stay centered these days...I went to a meeting Wedneday and i sat and thoughtt about other stuff almost the entire time....The reading was one of my favorites, but all I could hear when i bothered to tune in was the things i don't like that people say instead of the commonality. I really seem to connect better when people share the exact expereince...the details of a particular situation, what they did and what happened than to genaric shares mostly straight from the book...sorta a rah rah the program works...nothing i can really grasp... I seem to have no focus on helping others in meetings...seem to have gotten myself stopped up in that respect! Going to my homegroup tonight, and i seem to get more and give more in those meetings...so hopefully that will help me get back on track.... anyways..just where i am at in meetings...problem, not connecting, solution, go to places where that is more likely to happen and pay attention a little more __________________ Copyright © 2010 - 2010 Ananda You can't stop living just because it hurts a little - Ananda's Mom

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

04-11-2008, 08:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
nolonger Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: . Posts: 299	Thanks for that Paul. Lovely little post. "Honest" jumped out at me from it. Haven't been to an AA meeting in quite a while, but when I did, there were days when I was so moved I could have cried all the way home, just at the sense of people trying sincerely to lay aside the bullshit and posturing and competition and fronting - or just the banality - of so much of what and how we communicate every day. No such thing as complete sincerity, or honesty, I suppose, but that's not the point: to be in the presence of a warm, easy, focussed effort to speak freely and openly is quite something. And that this communication happens not just for its own sake, but to help alleviate others' suffering. That's magic too. Then there's a sort of present-ness, you know? I eat really badly - always too fast, gobbling the food down like someone was going to take it away. Too many meals eaten alone maybe. Anyway, I've taken to pausing before I eat, just for a few seconds, to concentrate on what I'm going to eat, to be happy that I have some good food to fill me up, that I'm not hungry, to appreciate the taste of it and the feeling of filling myself up, to be aware of what I'm doing and content that I'm doing it. (A kind of atheist's grace before meals, natch.) What's that to do with AA? Well, I guess I wanted to say that a meeting is a kind of pause-into-the-present like that too, but a pause together. And, again, not just for its own sake, or for my own sake, but personal and more than personal, at the same time.

04-19-2008, 11:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
thwartnot Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: new york Posts: 10	thanks paul i recently attended my first na and then ma meetings. i felt really good after nand i still do

04-20-2008, 04:49 PM	#5 (permalink)
LogCabin Seriously Fun! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: California coast Posts: 415	I always feel much better (most of the time) when I go to a meeting. And for me it really is simple. I love being with a group of people who understand me, and share similar histories of addiction. It helps me so very much to know I am not alone. And yes...the love and laughter help so very much!

05-03-2008, 05:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
aprilflower survivor Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Portage, Mi Posts: 5	yeah' I used to love my NA meetins. the love and support I felt was good enough to keep me sober and clean for another day. Lately, I have been resistant to attending because I can not locate a rational recovery group or one with out the God dependency. My recovery is humanistic and the help I give and receive comes from humans and is for humans. I get caught up in the continuous God training I hear at these meetings and it distracts me from the purpose of why I am there. To get help and give it.

06-19-2008, 06:48 AM	#10 (permalink)
windysan Big Idiot Man Child Join Date: May 2004 Location: La Posts: 5,774	the last few meetings i went to a coupla years ago really gave me the creeps.

06-25-2008, 05:06 PM	#12 (permalink)
Tommyh Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: N.C. Posts: 18,401	I believe there is a force within us,and when we come together,it multiplies it`s goodness,I call it the Higher Power do these words sound familier? where two or more are gathered....

06-25-2008, 05:11 PM	#13 (permalink)
TTOSBT To Thine Own Self Be True Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: So Cal Posts: 1,948	I love my meetings! If the God thing bugs, can't you just mentally replace their word God with higher power?

07-04-2008, 12:48 PM	#16 (permalink)
austingemini Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 102	Thanks Alera. Appreciate that. Good perspective. Are these 'smart' tools available somewhere I can see online?

07-04-2008, 03:53 PM	#17 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 11,908 Blog Entries: 1	I don't believe in god....but have lots of hps---a big one is the law of cause and effect. You know a tornado and lot of things in nature are powers greater than me in many ways. a path to living that works is a higher power for me. Just some thoughts.

07-18-2008, 07:55 AM	#20 (permalink)
Mala09 Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Hereford, UK Posts: 87	I love my meetings -- in some ways I do thimk the willingness, and expectations of community and readiness to identify will in part determine the quality of one's experience of the meetings. The more I participate the more involved I feel. Simple really. Love Mala

07-18-2008, 08:16 AM	#21 (permalink)
windysan Big Idiot Man Child Join Date: May 2004 Location: La Posts: 5,774	I just changed my behavior. I don't need to go to meetings unless I want to feel like I want to get high. LOL

07-18-2008, 09:19 AM	#22 (permalink)
LogCabin Seriously Fun! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: California coast Posts: 415	Oh Windy....you crack me up so much. I think I am going to try and find a Smart meeting around here. I know they are here somewhere. Thanks for that link, Alera. But being a female that needs to feel the "positive vibes" of lots of love and compassion...meetings do nurture my lonely heart. And I have no fear of them getting me to believe in some thinking enity. Just not going to happen.

05-01-2009, 09:23 AM	#23 (permalink)
thwartnot Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: new york Posts: 10	im happy to report that this past april 12 was my one year anniversary of sobriety. i have been going to MA meetings and really find it rewarding. Its important to work the program and it feels good. here are the keys ive found to easily working the program and achieving sobriety. 1- attend meetings at least once a week. 2-get a sponsor. 3-take on commitments. 4-use the phone. 5-decide you want it and live off the power of getting your way with yourself. staying straight for yourself feels so good its like being super duper high. marijuana-anonymous.org thanks for letting me share thwartnot

05-01-2009, 09:54 AM	#24 (permalink)
nelco Living in sobriety Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 3,868	Stuff happens for me too Paul and I get an enormous sense of well being. I also love fellowship and no longer feel alone. But there are so many other benefits for me ....the list is endless. Im really looking forward to my meeting in the morning, I always hear something I need to hear and I may also get a chance to help someone ......and thats one sure way to take me out of self!!

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)