Love after Alcohol

[dixiecup25]

I am very new to this. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years. He was 23 when I met him and I was 24. I am divorced with 2 children.....When I first met him, I didn't notice any signs as he was doing what a typical 23 year old would do. After time went by, he was around my children... after about 2 years, we moved into a house. 3 montsh later he bought an engagement ring..After moving into the house, I slowly noticed him not drinking as much, trying to get that out of his life..but the following summer came, and I starte to notice more and more the drinking especially after some friend came around...I notice before he would drink alot but it was never really a problem until then. I told him he needed to go to AA but he wouldn't..he lied to me...he left for awhile and things got worse...then he promised me they would be better..said he loved me. He came back...this past fall/winter we have been struggling with his addiction to drinking and smoking. He wanted to go to rehab one day but I told him that all he needed to do was keep busy...I guess I was afraid of him going away...finally the other week..i took his weed away...so he used coke. I told him to leave the house and he went into rehab the next morning. I found out from his mother calling me. He left me anote...saying for all I have done for him..he needs to do this...and when he comes back...I will have his old self back and we can proceed with our life. 3 days of detox...he decided to leave me...by a phonecall from his mother. he then coems and takes his stuff w/out an explanation. Finally today he tells me that he has to start his life over...that the alcohol made him love me...that even though now he has been a father figure to my son, it is like a robot family and he doesn't know if he can ever be with me again. He says that the are whole relationship was based on alcohol. I don't drink nor do I do any type fo drugs..he enver drank everyday...there were times when he went weeks w/out drinking...just recently it has escalated to 4-5 days out of the week...

My question is...can you just stop loving someone over alcohol after 3 days? I was willing to work on our relationship...I still lvoe him as much as I did the day I met him...or can this just be a scapegoat..he says all he can do is email me right now...I dont' understand how someone can not face the person they love? Is this normal?

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you may want to re-post this to the family and friends forum, That side gets a lot more traffic.

I'm sorry you are going through this, I am new to this stuff, so I can't offer any advice

[dixiecup25]

I did after I saw how many people it had on it!

Thanks!