is too late or is ?

[bbb2006]

iam new at this so please bere with me . i should start off by letting you know ive been with my wife for 6 years(married for 4)we have recently seperated .about a yaer ago i relized my drinking was causing my wifes unhappyness and decided to change eventhuogh she had been tellig me for sometime.at that point i did change for the better.but eventhough i changed things did not get better between us.about a week ago we both decidied to split and work things out from apart. 2 days ago i felt i did my best to make our lives happyer ,i paied attention more ,told her she was beautiful everyday and thought i was meeting her needs.then i found letters to lover of hers that she had for a year and a half. she had this affiar aboat 2 years ago and ended it this past july.eventhough i have forgiven her hole hartedly and still want to be with her because i fell somewhat to blame for drinking allthetime and beeing mean.i have told her this and she is going to think about us. iam sobber and have been for 11 months.please lend me a hand in clearing my mind. thanks still in love with my wife

[Justme57]

Hi bbb welcome , and congrats on your sober time .

I am wondering if you have a sponser and are you working your steps?

My son, dil, and grandbabies, have been lost to me thru my drinking. I am now 2nm 1/2 years sober, have written my "ammends" and still have had no response at all from them. If I had not done a good 4th step, and talked to and listened to my Sponser, I would be in utter dispair over this. I have come to learn that i must accept what is , as long as I have "done the next right thing", and all that is humanly possible and right , then it is up to my HP. I have truly been able to et this go, in full confidence that when and if ther timing is right , for all of us , it will be resoved as it should be. Mind you , this solution may not be the one I would choose, but it will be the right one.

I learned that I had to focus on myself, and my own healing , to be of any use to anyone . I read here the other day, a wonderful quote , " do not try to force a conclusion" to mwe it said volumes

HUGX
Lee