Wives can't change their husbands

[rehabintx]

Talking to wives of addicts is always special to me. They so want their husbands to stop drinking and start doing the right thing. Telling a husband to get out must be tough. But it is something that must happen for anything can change. Husbands think after living on the streets, spending rent money on crack and telling all sorts of lies that their wives should let them back in once he says "I will stop this time."

[TRISH1011]

I just wonder if it's better for the wife (or husband) to say - let's live apart - see how you do on your own for a while - and if I see a vast improvement, as in sobriety, we can see what the future will hold.

My DH has just told me to move back in with my parents until I get better and he knows he can trust me again. That's shocked me...and woken me up.

[TRISH1011]

Oh and it's my third day today.... )

And I can still see a future with DH!!!

[rehabintx]

If they can't change on their own one more person in the room won't make a difference.

[elizabeth1979]

If they can't change on their own one more person in the room won't make a difference.

Never heard it put that way, very very true.

[PaperDolls]

My father(who by the way, has been sober for 30-plus years) left my mother because she wouldn't quit drinking. She went to treatment, her idea, came home and just drank behind our backs.

When my dad quit drinking, he quit once. It took my mom about 100 times. She's finally made it and has been sober for 3 and a half years.

I was (and may be still am) always pissed at my dad for leaving her during that time. I never told him that because , well 1) it's not really my business 2)I don't think I have a right to feel that way.

They didn't really get divorced because of the drinking. That was just the final straw for my dad.

Soooooo......wait a minute............what was the question?! Sorry if I went off topic a bit. =)

[Justme57]

Hi Trish,

I AM sorry you are in such a fix.

CONGRATS on your 3 days great effort!

Maybe when you have some distance between your husband and yourself, and you have had time to work on "YOU", things will seem clearer. I speak a bit from experience, I am widowed, but have 1 son, and grandies, he gave me the flick just before I quit, and I haven't seen or heard from them for over 2 years. At first , I was resentful, here I was making all this effort, lol but I have come to realise, that he had had enough, and that he has his own decisions to make. I firmly believe that when the time is right ,for both of us, my HP will step in .

I am no good to anyone if I am not right with myself

Sorry a bit of a ramble, but it might help

HUGX
Lee