daughter

[klouise]

My 15 yr. daughter and 2 neices seem to think they are princess. They all have rotten attitdues and this includes my daughter. Tonight, my daughter got an attitude. She didn't think she needed to do her homework or do her chores. So, she lost her tv and computer...until her attitude gets better. So, now she is crying saying that I am being irritable and picking on her. I do not have this problem with my boys or nephews. It is just with the girls that I have this problem.I have one neice and one nephew that pretty much lives with us too. My neice that stays with us is 12 1/2. I had another neice that stayed with us often. I once had custody of her and her 2 brothers...Anway this neice won't come over anymore because a month ago she lied to me...Me and her are very close and she knows better than to lie to me..She is in the 7th grade but is smoking pot, smoking cigerettes, drinking, acting to lose around boys, and so on....Anyway I got into an argument with her. I told her I knew what she ws up to and she was not going to fool me. So, she went to her moms...her mom now has my neice's boyfriend living with them. We are talking about 7th graders.So, anyway is this smart-mouth stuff etc...just a thing with preteen/teen girls...The boys wrestle,play rough, get into mischief at times...However, they almost always do their chores and do what I ask.The girls get so very mouthy and moody. Sorry long. I am just so frustrated right now. So, am I picking on my daughter. Is it wrong for me to expect her to do her chores and homework when I say she needs to do so?

[Paulie]

Is it wrong for me to expect her to do her chores and homework when I say she needs to do so?

Umm I would say no. I am not a biological parent, I am a step parent of an 11 year old boy and a 15 year old girl. The girl is way harder and more mouthy than the boy. It is very scary.

Remember you are the parent. I dont know about you but I remember thinking how much I hated my mom when I was a teen and was punished for something. It passes, she will grow up one day and be a better person for the discipline and consequences you give her for her actions.

As for your neice...that is sad, pray for her.

[raven2006]

I have a daughter also that is 14...She will be 15 in a few weeks...Yes this is the most trying time for them..Now i will say we have went thru many mnay chnages over the last year or two...One was that I was more authoritative telling her what to do all the time ...Trying to be what I felt was a strict parent but making myself miserable as she rebelled. Now Our relationship has changed , while I am still pushy on some topics I also give her a bit more leniancy.. For example. letting her do something she wants if she helps with babysitting. So I have found that I get her to do what I want by compromising some of her wants within reason... She still knows the big boundries and what i will never bend over but she also has the freedom to be herself which helps our communication better......Give it a try....When I was growing up my mother wanted me to do excatly as she said all the time..this doesnt allow for independance or growth....I want my daughter to learn that her actions and choices have consequences at an early age so when she is 18 or 19 she can see that her choices must be more wise...Just my thoughts ....and I hope I am making the right decsions with her ..it is hard to know...Just follow your inner voice ....